My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
Where are we at in the process. Have the bank statements been obtained or is that still dragging on also? Do her bank statements come with copies of her checks included. No need to get copies of checks if you already have them with her statements. Is there a response date that has to be met with Spirit House; one that failure to meet will allow her potential room go to the next in line?
I'm not trying to push you here, but it might be to your advantage to look for her bank statements in her room. Hopefully she keeps those things.
911 is sounding better all the time. Love, Cattails
You got as far as you have because you took charge. Don't drop the ball now, kick that mother into the end zone....no pun intended.
Has you mother finished her paperwork, the one she is whining about with needing more expenses? Help her fill it out and get it done. Hand deliver it to Spirit House. You don't need to give her anything she's not entitled to, you just need to get the bitch out of your house.
Get this show on the road! Lots of Love, Cattails
Sylvester, since several of us are being kind of childish here, haven't you ever heard "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?" You'd respond to a negative comment about your mother with a blow from your fist? Hmmm ... I don't think that fits the playground rules.
I hope your day improves. Sounds like you are at your edges. I don't mean that in a snarky way.
Individuals who need to vent must find the right place. When a discussion has been ongoing, a new contributor does, in fact, need to realize the history and status before chiming in.
As one who has an objective perspective, I am advocating that each one with a problem STOP-- Step back and shut up. Move on. Those staying, continue to be positive in your support of Elisa. This is about her issue. Start your own thread if you need Personal Attention. Peace, Christina
amount of time. Divert and entertain yourself the best way U can until you have your house back. And you WILL get it back! Still rooting for U from NC, kimbee
sylvester18 posted on your wall 5/1/2012 at 10:00 am
I will say it again, cattails should not be using expletives on an ELDER CARE site and especially ABOUT an elder. Numbers don't lie, it appears my helpful comments outweigh yours, I guess the majority of the people LIKE venom.
You know, I'm feeling very down that we haven't heard from Lisa. I check my computer constantly waiting to hear back from her. I pray everything is ok and I will be relieved to hear from her no matter what has happened. I know you all feel the same.
Let's kick Sylvester to the curb and focus on Lisa. Everyone say a prayer for her and her family. Love and Hugs, Cattails
Rebecca
second of all, i have a friend who lives with her 93 y.o. father who has always been verbally abusive to her and everyone.
i told my friend to move out and dont take anymore of his crap.
my suggestion to you is the same. good luck