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Well emjo, I really didn't understand why he insisted we go there at the beginning. His reasoning was knowledge is power. After the hospital incident last week he feels she's up to something. And with her trying to make us believe she couldn't get herself out of bed? Yep. Think he hit the nail on the head. But it didn't work. I called her bluff. And emjo, you keep on being girly girl. Cause you look fantastic. I swear you are so much like my mil. Her appearance is important to her. She said even on her lousy days, just dressing and makeup make her look and feel like a million bucks. cat: thinking of your family today. Stay strong and spread some of your healing white light! Kimbee?? Kim Deere? U ok? Ok Judy, getting ready too send out a search party. Hi book! You sound cheerful! Love ya! Jeanne: sending prayers and love to you and coy. Love alllllll you KAW!!!!!!
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Morning Emjo! Thanks for the laugh about your insistance to go get the nail glue. Yep! Sounds like you have just become girly, girl. That's what happens when you become more aware of your looks. When I was overcoming my lack of self-esteem after my teen years, I read up a lot of stuff on improving it. You see, growing up with 7 siblings, and mom a housewife and dad the only breadwinner - we did NOT have goav't help. We survived on what dad made. However, when time got bad, they would get food stamps, then, when money was good again, we got off it. So, I grew up as a tomboy and dressed like one. I would go to church in a dress, but underneath it - was shorts.
Anyway, my research for self-esteem included dressing up to look good. So, even housewives should dress up - even if they're just going to be home all day. The thing is, every time you see yourself in the mirror (restroom, bedroom, etc..), you will see how pretty or nice you look. This will validate your self-worth. So, I would dress up even in the weekends, etc...Always....I've had friends who would drop by without calling - and compliment on my looks. Finally, several of them would tell me that no matter what time they drop by, I'm always dressed up. I explained why....Emjo, it doesn't have to be work clothes. I just make sure that my clothes are in good condition. If it's faded or tearing, I throw it. I wear nice clothes to go shopping or to the post office. BUT, I would not go out at night (night-blind) to go buy a nail glue! ;)
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((((((cat)))))) I am so so sorry. I know this touches you to the core, and I know you need to be with Rick and Cyn. My heart goes out to all of you.What a dreadful experience those boys had, and obviously still were/are experiencing much pain. Taking the grandkids trick or treating sounds like a good diversion, especially after a trip to the mortuary. I know the pain they are experiencing through losing a child. If I can be of any help, let me know.((((((hugs))))))

I have had a nasty computer virus, but think I am rid of it now. All the scans are clear. It took me a while to deal with it. Be darned if I am going to pay $100 for someone else to do it, and it keeps my mind active.

Clay is still progressing, There was a setback with more surgery for incision problems, and a staple they left in. Aaargh - like he needed more.

More snow, more and more. Much more than usual. Going to take out my crockpot and use it today - cold weather food calls. May make dumplings too. And I have found where I can buy boxes to ship jars of chutney!!!!

Lisa -can you convince that wonderful man of yours that :"No" is the right answer to anything to do with DQ? Anything else leads to a major soap opera. Oh well, it gives us a chance to put on our blue tights, shine up the tuna cans, and practice the - what was it, judy? - falcon jumps? Hope thngs settle down for Ray and Mary soon.

Beanie Hi, and yes we are nuts - the kind that keeps you from going crazy.

Book - I am so glad you are still with us - you are another feisty lady!

Lordy, I am turning into a girly, girl in my old age. Had problems with one of my gel nails the other night, and needed nail glue, The car was covered in about 4" of snow, but I put on my tights and tuna cans, went out brushed it off, and drove to the drug store in a snow storm for nail glue!!! I wouldn't have gone out for food, I would have made do if I had to, but I went for out nail glue! Don't tell me that old dogs can't learn new tricks! This old dog is still learning.

Hope everyone is having a decent day. Love and hugs Joan
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Hi Beanie, Welcome!

Cat, I'm so sorry about your nephew. Rick and Cyn... I really hope they're not wondering if they could have done more for him. (This has always been the one thing that held me back. I knew that fave sis would have blamed herself. As for all the other siblings, I didn't give a d*** about their feelings.) HUGS!!!
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Judy, Lisa, Sharyn: Thanks for understanding. Talked to Rick and Cyn this morning. They are headed to the mortuary to make arrangements. They will be taking the grand kids trick or treating tonight. A little diversion there and it will be good for them. We will talk to them again tomorrow and see what the schedule is. My heart just breaks for them.

Beanie: Glad you are here. Tell us about your situation. Welcome aboard.

Love to all, Cat.
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Cat~I am so sorry about your nephew, what a shock it must be as well as the tragic loss to your family. My heart is with you and your family as well as in my thoughts, hugs to you dear friend!!
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Good Lord; this site this site? I don't usually stutter.......... : )
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WOW! I found this site this site this past Sunday while looking for advice. When I started reading this thread; I was hooked! It took several days to read the whole thread but it was well worth it. You guys (or I should say KAW) really do rock! You have all been and are going through so much and are handling your situations with such strenght and grace. You are all my heros! Prayers and hugs to you all.
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Oh cat, I'm so sorry for this tremendous loss. And those poor boys for witnessing their moms murder by their fathers hand. It's so hard for those left behind when a loved one commits suicide. It's been 8 years since my sisters suicide, and my niece and nephew are still struggling with it. Your sil and bil needs family more than ever. I still have late night or early morning calls from niece and nephew. All we can do is be there for them. I think your in laws are very blessed to have you and Warren to help them thru this. We will keep your family in our prayers Maureen. We love you, lisa
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Hi Judy: I'm doing ok. Was doing better until this news. I was enjoying being in my home and just doing something positive each day. Little things that mean a lot to me, even if it is just mopping floors, which I did today. It's just enjoying the normal stuff which is almost a new experience to me.

I made a great Minestrone soup tonight and it's this stuff that makes me happy. Nothing fancy, just living and putting my life back together. Every day I just feel grateful to have the day. It's just that simple and it makes me happy.

My heart feels full of love for my husband and my son. I talked to my Granddaughter yesterday and she is so happy and doing so well and that makes my heart sing.

Now this thing happens, but I am so grateful that I can pull up stakes and go see Rick and Cyn. When Warren got off the phone with his brother, I told him, "we need to go down to Ca and be with them." He had tears in his eyes and said, "Yes, we need to go." Then we called our son to explain about Dameron and he wants to go with us. That would be wonderful. You know, it's just being a family and supporting each other.

Rick and Cyn are the people that we are closest to in the world. When Cyn was ill, I could not go see her because I had to take care of my dad. Before he had his stroke, there was no way he would have considered staying some place while we were gone and there was no way we could leave him here alone. After his stroke there was no way we could leave.

At least now we can leave and we have a good place to board the dogs so we can be available to support those we love without worry for the furry kids being cared for properly.

Judy, you are so right. Rick and Cyn are great people and they have been dealt a crappy hand. Suicide is such a burden for those left behind. I'm so sorry this has happened and at the same time I'm angry that, once again, they are left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of it all.

My struggles seem pretty small compared to theirs. I'll keep you all posted and thanks for thinking of me. I think of you all the time.

Love and white light, Cat.
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Lisa... I can't believe you went over to your mom's... but, you know, you can put a positive spin on this. If you hadn't have gone over, maybe you wouldn't realize that she'd like to move back in with you, and she could try to push it. Its a good thing to be aware of. I'm stretching here, trying to see the good. It sucks that its always a drama with her. You must get so overwhelmed with it all.

Cat... Rick and Cynthia sound like great people who've been dealt a crappy hand. I can't imagine having to deal with a suicide. That, to me, is the most painful thing, ever - for the brother who found him and for the parents - I can't even begin to imagine the pain.

You've had a hard few months. You doing alright? You're on my mind.
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Hi everyone: Wanted to put this in a separate post. Hubby's bro called this afternoon to tell us that our nephew (mid 30's) committed suicide. He lived with his brother, who found him this morning.

We were shocked and saddened to hear this news although we knew that Dameron had been battling a drug and alcohol problem for many years. My heart breaks for my BIL and SIL (these are the ones who drove to ND to be at my grand daughter's wedding) because they have done everything possible to help Dameron and his brother, Justin, since they were little guys.

The two boys are the children of my SIL's sister. Her ex-husband murdered her in her home when the boys were 8 and 5 years old. The boys witnessed the shooting. Rick and Cynthia (BIL & SIL) took the boys in and raised them as their own. Their biological father eventually died in prison from cancer.

Rick and Cyn have loved these two boys with all their hearts and have done all they could to give them every chance at a good life. Neither one of the boys can keep free of drugs and alcohol. It's just a crying shame as they were so bright and full of potential.

My SIL has been through a 3 year battle with colon cancer and is now doing well. Before that, they lost a grand child to a serious heart defect. Just a week ago, my SIL's older brother died from leukemia.

Rick and Cyn are such good and loving people and I know Cynthia is searching, once again, asking herself what she could have done differently. So painful for them.

We will be talking to them again tomorrow and making plans to go to California in the next day or so to be with them. Please say a prayer for them, Dameron and Justin.

Thanks my friends. Cat
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Lisa, You are getting to be an old hand at dealing with your mom. You just get down to the brass tacks and move forward. You rock. Good for you.

I appreciate your comment, "just more ridiculous crap." Well, of course, what else could it be? Sad to say, that's all you can expect from your mom. On the up side, she is not capable of dragging you back into the middle of her drama or quilting you in to bringing her back to your home. OMG, can you even imagine having to lock your bedroom door at night again. No, No. Take a picture of your front door with the NO VACANCY sign on it and point out that the porch light is off. Make a number of copies and tape them to her mirror, hospital bed, toilet, refrigerator, inside of her apartment door, etc.

Sorry about all the goings on at the PIL's place. Hope things are back in place soon and your MIL can settle down.

Sending you love and hope the kids straighten up for the rest of the week.

Cat.
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Thanks cat: Doug gets a call from DQ Friday afternoon. They released her from hospital but she had to go home first to pack clothes for her exciting stay at rehab. She needed a ride to the rehab facility because she couldn't get her things downstairs. So Doug, darn him, tells her we will be there after work. So we get there and I'll be dam if she dosen't have a hospital bed in the middle of her small living room. Door was unlocked and we walk in and she's laying in it. Didn't make one comment about the bed to her. I said you told Doug you needed a ride to the rehab. Why aren't you up and dressed? "I can't get up. I can't walk, what am I gonna do?" lord, I seen red! Told her then you actually don't need a ride to rehab ? I'll call when I get home and get you help here. Picked up my purse and we headed to the door and she was like a jack in the box. She was out of that bed in 15 sec flat. Started screaming at me why did you turn on me? I never did anything to you! I truly believe she has convinced herself she's done nothing wrong. Dougs convinced she's wanting me to take her back in. That will never happen. When will she realize I see right thru her bullshit. I told her she needs to use her time at rehab having them help her set up guardianship with the state to start proceeding to get her on Medicaid and go into a nursing home if she dosen't believe she can take care of herself. She said her health dosen't qualify her yet to go in nh. Well, that tells me you are perfectly capable to live on your own with assisted services. Now. You have ten minutes to get dressed if you want that ride. Just more ridiculous crap cat. We got her to rehab and haven't spoke to her since. I made sure she had her checkbook and debit. Wants me to go pay her rent wednesday. I dropped off a envelope with stamp at receptionist desk for her to mail it. Just another day. that was a he'll of an end to the lousy week with the bus run from he'll. ;) ray and Mary had the new roof put on to their sun room from the hail storm. She is all out of sorts. Furniture will be moved back in tomorrow. She's had a difficult time with the mayhem. Very nervous and cranky. They need to clean carpet as part of service and she's trying to convince ins agent she just had that carpet installed last month. Told Doug and sil's it sounds like a lunch date coming up so we can get them in there to do it. Thanks for listening. Just in a funk. I'll snap out of it.
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Lisa: When you are ready to share, I am all ears. Love, Cat
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Ditto Judy! LMAO!!!! And emjo. Love it. Her eyes are blue not brown.

Lots happened here Friday night with DQ. Be back later to update.

Love you guys, lisa
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oh judy, that's hilarious!!! hahahahaha Good for you. I know it doesn't work, but it helps us. Mother made a big fuss before her 100th b'day, sighing and saying, "I only want to make it to my 100th birthday", and many doctor's appointments, till he ordered a stool test for occult blood. They are pretty standard, but she went around saying she was having "THE cancer test". My sis fell for it, of course, and got all concerned, and my niece connected with me from Scotland. I told her it was a stool test, not specific for cancer, I had had many, and everyone has to die from something. Mother would be DELIGHTED to have an unusual protein in her blood. Nothing makes her madder than to go to ER and be told there is nothing wromg with her. If (when) I reach 100, I would be DELIGHTED to be told by the hospital that there is nothing wrong with me! BTW, the stool test came back normal, and, no, her eyes aren't brown, they are blue, ;)
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Judy: LMAO!!! Love, Cat
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I love reading the comments about your mother, Emjo. My mother thoroughly poor health, whether its real or not. I swear, one of her happiest days was when she was referred to an oncologist for abnormal protein in her blood. A full body scan and more blood work showed nothing, but she still books herself appointments so she can go back every few months and make a huge deal out of "having to go to the oncologist". She said she would have to kill herself if the cancer got too bad. I told her to do me a favor and take my dad with her. The look on her face that day still makes me laugh. Sounds mean, but sometimes I've just got to pull her chain a bit and try to get her back into reality. It never works, but I do get a kick out of it.
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hi rovana -mother has borderline personality disorder and is narcissistic - anything for attention. Sometimes I think she comes up with ridiculous things just for that, and if you disagree with her the fight would be on. I honestly think she enjoys fighting and getting angry. She seems to thrive in it - gets energized - even at 100.The rest of us get exhausted.
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Assisted suicide for pimples!!?? Now I've heard it all. Where do people come up with these ideas?
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Joan: Thanks for the update. Hope things remain positive with Clay and the family pulling together.

Kimbee: I hope things smooth out for you. Everything sounds exhausting.

Punch: I'll look forward to the Irish Coffee.

Lisa: Sounds like you have a couple of little DQ's in training on your bus. Keep your eyes on them and take care.

Book: I wish you could get away for a couple of days and just sleep.

Judy: Sending cyber hugs.

Love you all,
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Latest update on Clay: Things are as good as they can be, praise God. Clay is up walking around, and in good spirits. His doc is waiting on test results to see if they can start to get his digestive system working again. Right now he has tubes draining everything out, and is on iv hydration and nutrition. The emphysema was particularly extensive, but the gas will reabsorb in time. His lungs are not damaged as far as I know. He is not on disability, and I have suggested that Gary look into that. This family is so used to being self sufficient, and working for what they get. He should be eligible. I am now including in my prayers healing for the family due to the divorce, as well as healing of the pain. It is needed. They are pulllng together through this, praise God again, Thank you, Jesus.
And thank you all for bearing with me, and for your prayers and support. I gave faith that God is working in this to accomplish His purposes. Gary is touched by the concern others are showing,
Love you all Joan
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Oh Lisa, sorry to hear about the "little darlings". I hope they got discipllned for their behaviour. One slapped you???? I would have trouble not upending him/her and giving them a good spanking! It must be very draining. So glad there is to be no more info from DQ.Seems like the kids are taking over where she left off, and you don't need that. Maybe that contractor had it coming, You deserve a relaxing evening - hope that is how it turns out. Seems we need to take these little pockets of peace where we can find them. (((((((hugs))))))

Kimbee - you are really going through it now - (((((hugs)))) and prayers for strength, and wisdom to make the best for your mum and for you. Again, my mantra, look after you -

Want a laugh? Mother, after telling me she wants nothing to do wiht me now wants to know why I am not in contact, and says if I want nothing to do with her it is OK with her! Yeah right. The funny thing is that she mentions she has some pimples, and the doc had given her ointment, and says, she, "That is the same condition the lady in BC has, who has the right for doctor assisted suicide isn't it? Wow! Talk about narcissism in full bloom. If she was impaired I could understand it, but she isn't. Never heard of physician assisted suicide for pimples!!! Oh Lord, you gotta laugh, or you would cry. Love and hugs
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Hi everyone. Haven't seen or talked to DQ. They ve been told now to release no info to me. I'm fine with that. Cancel that. HELL YEAH IM FINE WITH THAT!!! Things calm here. I've had the worse elementary run out of our compound this week. I've been cussed out, called everything but my name, even slapped. I'm tired and emotionally drained. I've told the family they should all go to a movie dinner , walk in the rain. Anything. Tonight is for relaxing. I really do love my job and the children I drive. But this has been the worst week in years. Guess I probably should have waited till Monday to call the contractor who has cancelled 3 times getting here to finish house from storm damage. Oh well, he knows I'm pissed ;) I'm thinking of you all each day. Dear Jeanne I'll pop over to cb tonite to catch up on coy. Love you all to pieces.
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Quick drive by- thanks for all the hugs, encouragement n support. I'm hanging in there; just way too busy. Mom up many times each night. During day working to keep things moving along, DH working long, hard hours. You all r in my prayers, n so concerned Joan n Jeanne for Clay, G, Coy, n famillies. As I have been all along, I remain utterly grateful for the kick a**women, n this site! Thanks and luv n hugs to ALL of you, Kimbee...
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(((((punch)))) I cried a lot last night and early this morning, and also in the tears cried out to God, and came to some great scriptures this morning, and prayed them. I am at peace, and expecting a good report. I will share them on your wall. I know everyone here does not have the same beliefs.Thank you for your prayers. I am feeling buoyed up as I have at other times from people's prayers.We don't see the big picture, or the purpose in these things. Only God does. I trust Him.
Whipped cream - I wish! It is what I miss most with the dairy allergy.
The strawberries are cooked (with an orange blended up - peel and all), and smell delicious. The parcel for overseas is taped and just about ready to go. I did a lot of tidying of my computer today, so it was not unproductive.
jeanne -how did you make out with tidying your desk?
lisa - wondering about the sh*t storm too, and if there were any more squalls
judy - did you buy any hot nighties yet?
kimbee -worried about you - let us know how you are - I love the saying - "sometimes I'm not OK and you're not Ok but that's OK."
austin - wondering if you ended up looking after your mum after surgery
book - how is your health?
many, many, many hugs to everyone Joan
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Joan..I prayed out loud today in church that the Lord will give you the strength you need, the caregiver needs and Clay to be healed sufficiently that he has a decent quality of life. My son asked me what I thought about his wife's cousin living, in the state he is in, and if I thought it would have been better if the Lord had taken him instead. That is a very tough question and I referenced to my son Christopher Reeve and how I felt, in his case, it would have been a mercy for God to have taken him, but then I also said to my son that his living as long as he did just HAD to have some purpose served, e.g., as an inspiration to someone else, or his wife to have been one, for his child to have him in his life for a little longer, even in the horrible condition he was in, but who was I to say? Of course, knee jerk is to say 'better God had taken him' but in the old days, before we had all the technology and medical advancement, people simply died from these kind of injuries. To that end, I have no idea if those advances serve us well or not. Brings us right back to the same thing, though, and that is all we can do is pray for God's will to show mercy.

Cat--absolutely - clinking my mug to yours, which is a hot steamy irish coffee with a double shot and huge dollop of whipped cream (sorry, weight watchers!)

Judy--yes, hot steamer for you too--kahlua if you are in a Mexican coffee mood.
Let's just stick together and make each other laugh, comfort each other when we have to cry. Oh and Joan, throw out those strawberries and don't let them pressure you if you are just not in the mood! Plenty more where they came from, and for another time when you aren't this stressed!! xoxox PJ
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Hey, Lisa! I think its been 3 days since the shitstorm. Where are you?
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Joan, you, Gary and Clay are in my thoughts, still. xxoo

Me too, me too, Catwoman! I want coffee with Punch and Joan and you!
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