My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
Good to see another judy on board. That's makes 3 of us, right? Punch, me and you?
Having a decent Monday so far. Told Mom I wasn't coming over until tomorrow. Woooohoooo!
Pam: I probably missed the info, but who is David? Is he a romantic interest in your life or a close platonic friend. You can tell us and we can keep a secret. Don't spare any details.
Love, Cat
:(
Cat, where are you? You started this!
Cat--I am hereby on notice--husband will now revise his toilet paper statement accordingly! I can't believe how much I am laughing over this thread. Can you say "off topic" much? LOL LOL LOVE IT.
Punch - my grandmother lived with us when I was a kid, from the time I was 6 yrs old. Vile, vile woman - and she hated me! I could tell you stories about her spewing phlegm and snot, licking food out of her false teeth - all the loveliness of growing up with Nana in the house, but the shit balloon is Cat's favorite! My mother worked full time. We had one bathroom in the house. My grandmother was obsessed with her bowels. She drank full bottles of citrate of magnesia. I still shudder when I remember the green glass bottles in the fridge. She'd use the bathroom and it was like someone burst balloons full of shit all over the room. And, she'd leave it like that. I remember crying and gagging as a kid, trying to clean the mess up because I needed to use the bathroom. So, that's where shit balloon comes from. GROSS!
Judy, not sure you told your shit balloon story on this thread. The one involving your grandmother who use to live with you. Please share. I'll will have my boots, fecal mask and slicker close to my computer for the reading.
Everyone have a good day tomorrow. Love, Cat.
Lisa--that's amazing they were still calling you from the hospital. It's a shame she is experiencing chest pain, but maybe her health is starting to be affected when she realizes the bridges she has burned and the people she's burned out. Sounds very familiar, I can surely relate.
Cat--we had a garage sale last year and it was fun the day of, but alot of work going in--but isn't it a terrific feeling purging all that stuff you don't want or use and having a little extra $ for the holidays.
Em--haven't tried the dumplings yet--I will next time I make that crock pot chicken stew, though. I did buy the chicken so maybe after we return from vacation.
Yes, husband has a great sense of humor. We took a weekend and went to a little B and B a few wks. ago and we were talking about all these different new 'designer dog' breeds, and how they cross and poodle and a golden ret. and combine the names to golden doodle, or a cavalier king charles and call it a cavachon terrier. Well, he says to me did you know they crossed a shih-tzu and a shnauzer and they are calling it a "shit-houser." I nearly spit out the coffee I was drinking. As I said, he's a nut. On that note, turning in. Have a beautiful day tomorrow! xox Punch
I just love you!
Well, garage sale is over and it went well. Sold a ton of stuff. The weather changed back and forth, some sun, some rain, some wind, but we got through it.
Jeanne: Thinking of you and Coy. I'm grateful for the help you are both getting. Stay well. Sending you love and white light.
Emjo: Glad you liked the pumpkin soup. You hang in there.
Lisa: Six pounds is great. Got to get to 6 before you can get to 10. As long as the twitches are happening on the other end of the phone, things are good.
Punch: I wondered about the toilet paper, but, as Judy would say, there were no shit-storms at all.
Judy: I had left over pumpkin and the first thought was, "Oh, I'll make some pumpkin bread." Not gonna go there because I know where it will end up.
Book: I hope you have many more light hearted days ahead and that you really enjoy your vacation time.
Sending love to all of you very special women. Love, Cat
Lisa, I guess you're now resigned to the hospital always calling you about DQ, huh? Although 6 lbs may seem small to lose, Congrats!! All I can say is in my case, to even TRY to gain 6 lbs. is Difficult! So, I don't even think that losing 6 lbs is a little thing. Good for you!
Jeanne - I rarely comment to you. I'm in such Awe with you! Out of everyone here in AC - I think of you as one of the most experienced person with such.. Great Common Sense!! I don't put you in a pedestal but I just think of all the good advices you have been giving to people on the different threads and it's like a light bulb lights up in my head. I just don't see things like you do and it's so refreshing to see things in a different and much practical way... I'm a bit sad to hear that your husband is now in hospice service. HUGS to you!!
I have stored several of my favorite photos actual photos, in CD, in my external drive AND I emailed it to me and stored in my email!!!
No way am I going to catch up now,so I will just jump in again with what i remember.
cat - lovely to spread your dad's ashes with your mum's under a tree. Even then I know it isn't easy. ((((hugs)))) sounds like you are spending some time on "you" things. The pumpkin soup is great. For Gary, I added cajun seasoning and cayenne to give it some heat. I had some for breakfast! We used some of the roasted pumpkin for a veg that night with meat loaf and it was good!
judy -glad the trip went OK and you had time to reconnect with cousins, and get that pic of your bro even if a copy -so special to have it.
pamela -you are on the road and having fun I am sure - check back in when you can
austin - hope you don't have to look after your mum, after the way she treated you. - you need a break
punch - did you try the dumplings yet - I like your hubby's sense of humour - reminds me of my ex. It was one of the few things about him I missed.
kimbee - as was said above - you are welcome in any frame of mind. Hope you and hubby get away and have a good break. You have been in the trenches for a while, and it sounds like the battle was escalated (((((hugs)))))
Lisa - congrats on losing 6 lbs - WAY TO GO!!! DQ back in hosp - and they are finding nothiing wrong - know that one! Another emergency contact sounds good. Love the pic in camo on fb! You are right about Christmas - being with your loved ones. I expect I will be alone again. The way it is these days. Your inlaws are fortunate to have you, and vice versa
book and eveyone else - hi and hope you are having a good weekend
Here mother now is emailing and asking why she hasn't heard from me - I am about ready to tell her that 2 weeks ago she said she didn't want to have any more to do with me - and now she is wondering why I am not in contact - think about it!
Still sad about dd, but I will get through it. On the outs with mother, and dd. Sis, I have written off, that ship sank long ago. Surrounded by narcissism -aaaargh!!!!
Thinking of jeannegibbs and Coy being on hospice now. Jeanne does such an excellent job of caring for him.
love and (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to all
Cat, make some money at the yard sale! I love yard sales. My friend and I have had a few together over the years and it can be so much fun. I wish I was there with you.
Kimbee - I hope today is a good day. You need it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you do.
Emjo - you're on my mind.
Lisa - I hope this little shitstorm doesn't develop into a full on shit avalanche with the DQ.
6 lbs!! Woooohoooo! That's awesome! Well done. It hasn't even been that long, has it? Seems fast. Is the diet manageable? Well, it must be, because you're doing so well. I guess what I meant is, are you hungry all of the time? My friend up the street just gave me some green coffee extract the other day and it helped a lot with hunger. Maybe I should join you in your shake diet! Have a good rest of the weekend, and run from avalanches. xx, J.
Kimbee: sorry you are having a rough time. Sending you a big hug.
Cat: good luck with garage sale!!!
Emjo: hope your sorrow is easing up some.
Everyone: love you all to pieces!!!!!!
Kimbee: I can't imagine you not being exhausted after taking your mom on vacation. I think that was an incredible effort on it's own. Sorry you have had such a hard week after coming home. You and your DH need a couple of days to your selves. By the way, bad Kimbee is always welcome here. Vent away any time you need too. Hope things improve this week.
Judy: Glad you have a precious picture of your brother. Sorry I didn't acknowledge that before. Also, I know how you feel about being able to walk on the beach. Being close to the ocean is a comfort to me. Glad you are home.
Well, today is Garage Sale day for me. Meaning we are having one. Wish us luck.
Hope everyone has a good day. Love, Cat
Can you contact your cousin and ask her if she can take it to the photo shop and make a copy? It will look just like the original - but not as good, though - but you won't be able to tell if it's not sitting side-by-side together. It doesn't hurt to ask! Just say that a friend did this with an old photo and you were wondering if she can see if the photoshop can do it. I will admit I was SCARED of giving the original to them.
Also, you can do what my nieces do. If your photo is a good copy (or you can ask your cousin), take your cell phone, and photocopy it close. Then, you now have your brother's picture on your cellphone! and you can transfer a copy into your laptop!