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We had a skunk for a pet when I was a kid.I don't know what happened to it....And we set a cage in the attic and got 2 squirrels at once.I feed the stray cats my cat's leftover food at night and I have opened the back door to find possum and raccoons at the plates.I don't mind cuz they are hungry too.My husband doesn't like it though.
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Rainmom's raccoon would have sold the phone to buy more cigarettes.
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Rainmom,
We (the ex and I) lived in a house that butted up to an 800 acre wilderness land (part of the air force base a mile away). There was a fire and it burned our fence. We replaced it with a "golf club greens" fence (straight black iron bars) so we could see the cows and other critters that lived on that land. It's amazing what critters can squeeeeeze through bars that are only a few inches apart! We would set food out for the neighborhood cats and soon we were host to a raccoon, skunks (one was "plaid" [white stripe going both ways], I swear.) and a possum! The raccoon became so uninhibited that she would come up to the sliding glass door and put her paws up on it as if to say, where's dinner? Ex-hubby would go out there with cat food and she'd eat very delicately, always washing her paws in the cat's water bowl first. We have pictures of this. Then she found a mate and became a mommy. She'd bring her brood of 5 with her but they were very bashful, hissing if you got too close. The skunk also became a mother and dumped her "skunklet" off at our back porch to "babysit". It was a tiny thing and hid behind a box until mom came back 3 hours later. (maybe wanted some "alone time"?) He climbed up on her back and she waddled away, not a thank you for our care and concern! The possum, as I remember, never brought her children on the nightly dinner visit. All the critters had their own dining times, raccoon first, followed by skunk then the possum had the leftovers. Ex-hubby would go out and pour more if possum got shorted. Poor possum couldn't see too well and would get jumpy when he got close, as she was concentrating on finishing her meal. I refused to go outside when they were there but nothing bad happened to the ex. I guess he's still serving dinner every night.
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Veronica,
That really scares me about having to repeat school when I get older. Nobody told me about that requirement! Do we get to start at the 5th grade this time?

Don't worry about the skewed test scores. I can write you a letter to say that you have forgotten more than those 5th graders will ever learn from scraps of art work.
lol.
Wait, did you forget to study for the test???
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I have to say I fell into a deep depression when the thread disappeared - now I feel like like dancing ! 💃🏻

Rainmom - glad you could beat that raccoon inside the house - they'll tear your face off

So last night I go into my mom's room at memory care to get her microwave hot pack for her aching shoulder and I notice something doesn't look right - ah ha the chair is missing - down to the nurses station I go and ask do you know who took the chair? Of course no one knows - hmmp.

Since it's late and the only ones still awake are mom her sometimes friend and a man who's in someone else's room - I take a walk open a door pull out a chair and drag it down the hall - problem solved at least for one night
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Cwillie, The admins just took the thread out for a spin,
to wash it's mouth out with soap,
and bring it on back!
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What's up, the admins were being bratty and teasing us by removing the thread temporarily?
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Glad the brat thread is back. Just took a 5th grade English test and passed with 81%. Only got 61% on identifying the famous painters of scraps of paintings. Some of the artists did not even have names I even recognized.
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When I lived in Marin County, a few of us would get together and drive up to the area overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge-just beautiful-and often cold and windy.
The racoon families would walk right up to the open car window to beg-so cute-so friendly, but the signs said don't feed them, they are wild animals. But somebody obviously had been feeding them.

This must be one of the most beautiful places to visit in the world, and I loved living near Sausalito-the Marin County side of the bridge.

The bratty part was the propagation of the outright lies about fog covering all of San Francisco and the Golden Gate bridge! Ha, Ha, local residents just said those things to keep too many visitors from coming to the area. I am sure of it.
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What, was the racoon going to make a call Rainmom?
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My racoon was playing that old game "Red light, Green light". I was sitting out side smoking and also playing casino games on my phone when I looked up - had that feeling someone was watching me - and about 25feet away there was a raccoon. So I decided to be calm and mature - you know, "their more afraid of you than you are of them". So I look away and go back to my game. I look up and he's 20 feet away - just standing there. I look away, then back - 15 feet. I'm getting nervous, but look away, then back - 10 feet. So I "psssssst" loudly at him - nothing. Never saw the rat with a fluffy tail move once - until all of a sudden he stands up, hisses and practically gives me the finger - then he drops down and his back legs start running in place - I knew he was gonna bolt, jump on me and school me so I made the decision in a second that I was defiantly more afraid of him, than he me - and I high-tailed it into the house. The little thief then got up on my chair and stole the pack of cigarettes I had left on the chair arm. I'm glad I still had my phone in my hand.
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My "behaving badly" is going to be taking a bit of a break from AC. No worries, just need to step back for a bit.
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kimber . did pstors wife get her toy?
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At 1 AM one night I was sleeping peacefully and heard a terrible racket outside. being stupid and living in a sake neighborhood I went outside. There standing on his hind legs was a big nasty looking raccoon (I don't think they ever look nice)
he could not quite get the seed from the bird feed so he was batting it back and forth. I yelled at him and he slowly walked away but before he got off the porch he turned round and gave me a dirty look. I was afraid he might attack so I beat a hasty retreat.
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lived with the coons for years. mama hissed because you scared her and didnt show manners apologizing. Evidently they know dog will bark and use to advantage if being chased. mom w babies prob running from would be suitor who would kill her males and females if small to make her come in heat. daddy might not be as bad . Seen some teaching runts how to get bait out of trap wo going in .undo trap pick it up 2 or 3 of them and shake goodies out.
get you a tall chair to sit on. talk to them next time. lived in woods for year tent. the one kept momand others away 17 in family they got dwindled down crossing highway for food. mom and daughter moms of bunch got killed trying to get dead baby off road mom got it trying to ghelp her daughter still alive after hit trying to drag dead baby out of road. the momw as as big as german shepard.

makesure fish and game puts out the rabies and distemper innoculation bait. Id rather have racoons and oposdums who kill rat nests, than rats. better hthan cat in a barn one they know rats not welcome.
Spouce once lost his hardhat and lunchbx racoon put hardhat on stood up and walked off with igloo cooler just like was going to work on his twi himnd legs, prob would have taken the toolbelt if could have got it too.
they stand on top one another open dumpsters climb in hand stuff out to other assembly line.
while living on sailboat moored next to mangroves the night raiders would climb branch then other bend branch back and catapult sling shot brave raccoon on board oone night hwe had moved the boat out farther. he missedjump and Wiley Coyoted it down side of sailboat. Boat shaking from us laughing
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reading your posts .I just laughed at son I never laugh at. walking around looking for his belt picked up and put down 4 times. His brother scolded.me for it.
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Veronica I use a little Vernors gin .ale clamp off and let soak a bitn H2O flush. will work on finger nails sprite better higher co2.
hydrogen peroxide work outside s for crevices.
dawn fingernails I use
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Nasty human hiding out in the raccoon's play zone, imagine what they get up to when you aren't there! Tonight take a broom out there with you to fend off any intruders.
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Rainmom, I'm a smoker too, I know, I know, I'm bad, but I have had 2 late night encounters with crazy racoons also!

One night, I was sitting in the pitch black, up on our little porch, smoking and playing Casino games on my tablet, when 3 racoons came barreling up the walkway chasing each other, and scared the living hell out of me! They clearly hadn't seen me until I screamed and stomped my feet, 2 quickly left but the Mama Racoon stood up at the end of my walkway, got up on her hind feet and hissed at me! I still go out there, but I often look up from my tablet, because I'm spooked now!

Lately, I have beeen taking my middle of the night reading to the back porch. We get a lot of animal sightings out there, cats, racoons, possums, normally they are walking up on the fences, but I'm up 2 steps and on the porch, and have never had any human intruders in our yard in over 23 years, and I know that my dog would hear a human walking on the crunchy gravel next to our house, so I'm not afraid out there, Until.... I was out back at 2am on the porch, and a lone racoon rounded the corner of the house at a rapid speed, and right up onto the porch and actually bumped right into my legs, I was completely freaked and let out a yelp! I don't know if he was being chased or what, but as soon as he basically bounced off of me, he stood up and looked at me, and I was afraid he was going to attack me there for a moment, but then my doggy started barking and frothing at the back sliding glass door, and it ran off, but it definitely took an aggressive stance there for a second. Now I'm always on alert, but I still go out there! Lol!,
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Pammzi, That's it, we shall call this the socially exceptable thread.
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A man goes to the doctor and says: 'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.' The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor?' and the doctor replies: 'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'
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Why we all need a good diagnostician:

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
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me neither.
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Send - that's funny, I was gonna offer up being the butt of some dumb blond jokes - but went with the worm song instead. Now I can't remember a single blond joke...
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If you are happy and you know it,
share your meds.
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This has got to be a repeat joke:
I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night.
After five glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

Disclaimer: I have friends who drink, some who used to drink, and I am the one who never drank. Now, you can make some dumb blonde jokes for me. Its okay.
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Going to the bakery now, need chocolate. Do you think they sell humble pie still, at this hour?

You know, never did see that skink in the garden from last year. Maybe the possums ate it. I didn't eat it, would never eat a worm, especially after naming it
Zink, the skink. Miss my only pet.
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Gershun - I can eat ANY pie!
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"Everybody hates me, nobody likes me, guess I'll go eat worms - those big, fat, juicy ones, short, thin, slimy ones - my how they wiggle and squirm"! I'm hating myself for not keeping my big, mouth shut when I knew I was in a bad mood. This thread is the best thing here! Without a doubt - you all are kind, funny, smart and compassionate - not a hater in the lot. I have removed the stick from up my ass - won't you all forgive and forget?
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Nice! A good natured story about a bad natured person, by a real brat!
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