Ever just want to tear your hair out, or someone else's? If you cannot restore a sense of balance, you will run away from home? Just want to say some things without the constraints of staying on topic? Well, this thread is for you! If you just need a short break to let it all hang out, be a brat, then come on, you can do it. No holding back! Go for it, you can do it.
You brats are all great!
I hope I make it to the lue.
Did I spell that right?
I was at a family wedding ( my brother's son). I love this boy dearly and his new wife and her family are all sweethearts. But....
This was not their Parish church. They did the rehearsal with a different priest, not the one who actually married them. The officiant started the ceremony speaking Spanish and English ( not translating, just alternate sentences, or maybe just randomly code switching between the two languages.
It would have fine if he'd just SOUNDED like Ricky Riccardo. But when started proclaiming how great it was that his Church married only heterosexual couples, the congregation shifted uncomfortably.
And then, he launched into marital advice about what do do when the wife exploded in anger and screamed and yelled. My neice (sister of the groom) turned around and rolled her eyes at my daughters.
I texted my girls that I thought the priest was "priestsplaining" marriage. It was all downhill from there.
But when they brought out the white satin braided rope to wrap around the new couple, and asked them to light candles (was the rope flammable?), the tears started rolling down my cheeks and was trying so hard to suppress laughter.
I'm a terrible person.
My informed source tells me that volunteers are always needed at shelters for homeless people at Christmas because of increased demand - cooking breakfasts, doing the dishes, that kind of thing. I hope that as long as I am doing something in a good cause my kids will stop either trying to make me go to their houses or feeling guilty about me. The key to being able to say no seems to be having a legitimate prior engagement rather than saying to your would-be host "I would rather stick red-hot needles in my eyeballs than endure your household."
We all seem to hanker after that traditional family holiday. But God alone knows why!
On behalf of all my suffering brat buddies out there with narcissistic families, and hurting themselves to figure it out, I must try to help by cancelling those toxic christmas gatherings. Not exactly a Norman Rockwell painting?
Cancel it! I say, cancel!
A year without Christmas, you say?
Yes, you can do it and change your life!
Sorry MsMadge.
Management needs a full account of what you’ve witnessed. Cite specific dates and times of day.
After your meeting with the ombudsman, continue to observe. If you do not see improvements, schedule a follow-up. Again, be as specific as possible when you describe this man’s incidents.
Nice and calm, of course. Tell them that you care about their employees’ safety, as well as the residents’ safety.
Do this as many times as what you witness warrants.
I also second the idea of a hidden camera. If the laws (and rules of the care home) allow.
Big hugs, Madge. So much sadness with your journey at HOCA.
Take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well. (More easily said than done, I know! But remember, where you put your effort is where you’ll see results. Give yourself permission to invest in yourself. 💕💕)
What you describe doesn't sound safe for you or for your client, and it doesn't sound good for the POA son either. I'm not judging him out of hand - if he has mental health issues it may be too much for him to be his Dad's primary caregiver, and he needs help. But that doesn't make it ok for you to feel threatened at work or for a vulnerable elder to be alone with him, either. Good luck, please keep in touch with us.
You asked, What do you think?
So, I have a whole lot of thoughts about the man in another lady's room and her yelling, and him touching her.
I am just having trouble getting past how this is not a criminal offense because he is ill and in memory care. Clients need to place their loved ones where they will be safe from predators, imo.
Predators live in jails, imo.
A facility is obligated by law to supervise this man. He could not be trusted on a locked ward either, the women would all be assaulted.
Don't get me wrong....I do understand he is impaired. That would be a mitigating factor, but it does not erase the crime.
I also feel sorry for the victim.
Next time, break glass. You know, the glass in the fire alarm.......help will come.
Madge, every time you post, I want to reach out and say "there is better out there". I'm not in your shoes; the Viking is not my mom. But where she is sounds truly awful, all the time.
(((((hugs))))))
I hardly like to ask in case you think I'm being ironic - I'm not - but has Hoca done the recommended things about helping residents to identify their own rooms and key common areas?
If they haven't, you could think about making a bright poster of, say, Herbert's Room; or his old house number or name or whatever, and sticking it on his door (or suggesting that they do that). I don't suppose you ever see any family members to talk to?
unlike nh, the residents don't have call buttons so if the situation was one I didn't want to be near, I would have left the room
if the social worker hadn't quit, I would inform her, as last week, this same man was in the Viking's hallway and kept entering the room across the way
unfortunately, staff rarely redirects him to either his room or the common area
It's very fortunate you were not just there but also willing to help and experienced enough to do the job well. What riles me is that Hoca has no *business* to rely on happenstance like this.
It isn't that anything so terribly dreadful happened, either. But looked at from the lady's point of view, if you can't feel safe in your own room in your own bed it's a bad, bad lookout.
It's just not good enough. What the heck do they think they're for?
I'm not sure I want to look at the news. Can't face it this morning. Hope things are being brought under control :(
I observed one of the hoca wanderers enter another resident's room and shut the door tonight expecting he wouldn't meet with welcome and would turn around
I then carried on with what I was doing but since no one was about, I decided to circle back and check it out
the wanderer had not returned to his room, and I could hear yelling from behind the closed door so I opened it
the wanderer was flopped on the resident's bed, and she was cussing for him to leave - I tried to calm her and distract him to walk with me - it took a couple of minutes but he got up and I was able to lock her door
while I don't think he meant her harm, no one was aware this was happening and he did touch her legs in a somewhat sexual manner
I did let the nurse know
Nothing bad has happened yet. Yay!
Congratulations on your new home Glad!
Later brats.
Betcha can't find the tricksters on tonight's forum.
Assuming there are some, whooooo!
Yeah. Feeling creative, but I am just not as good at it a n y m o r e. Heh heh.
Looked up again how to manage. The ice pack helped me, took vitamins, tylenol, and slept an hour in a darkened, cool room. It may be quicker just to post the symptoms I don't have, just to save time.
With respect to my Astros I left their logo as my avatar until the World Series ended last night.
It is really special when your team wins the World Series. All fans deserve to have that feeling and for some of us the magic may happen in our lifetime.
Good Luck to your Cardinals next year! And the Dodgers.
The Red Socks really did well,your'e right and hopefully another year,the Dodgers will make it to be in another Series.Who I'd really love to be in the Series next year would be the Cardinals.They've always been my favorite team.
Dodgers fans...I feel your pain. 😔
Those Red Sox really kept it together during the playoffs.