Ever just want to tear your hair out, or someone else's? If you cannot restore a sense of balance, you will run away from home? Just want to say some things without the constraints of staying on topic? Well, this thread is for you! If you just need a short break to let it all hang out, be a brat, then come on, you can do it. No holding back! Go for it, you can do it.
It is called: OTHER PEOPLE BEHAVING BADLY
It seemed a necessity since all these things are happening to my friends Mom's in the nursing home or Memory Care.
So, have at it, Cwillie, and MsMadge, or anyone else.
Of course, posting anywhere, (here too) is good, never off topic here!
Sorry those bad things are happening. Meals may be all that is left, and should be enjoyable, at any cost, imo.
Awful indeed
I have noticed at mom's facility people say no and turn their head away
I've also noticed the aides be in a rush and shovel faster than the pour soul can swallow
Although mom has no trouble feeding herself she is extremely slow and always the last one to finish the meal - in fact the staff is pulling the table cloth out from underneath her which unleashes the Viking in her - you don't disturb a wolf when it's eating
Mind you, you can strategically shovel food into a helpless old lady's mouth but you can't stop her spitting it out again. So maybe - fingers crossed - her eyes were smaller than her stomach this time?
I went up to the NH for lunch today because I'm meeting some friends later (I usually go for dinner at 5:00). Lunch is always a sorry affair, especially for the pureed diets, because it is usually some type of cold plate or sandwich. Today M, mom's roomie, was begging please, please don't make me eat anymore. Now M does like to fuss, but she wasn't being in any way ambivalent, she adamantly refused her food. Or at least she tried to. Caregiver shoved most of it in anyway, despite protests and pleas to stop. Mom didn't want her lunch either, but she agreed to about half of her soup and a few mouthfuls of salad. I got her to try the "hot dog" but did not persist when she shook her head no. I DID insist on a glass of water. Caregiver kept questioning, I kept telling her mom was fine, she had had enough. This is just so wrong, even those with dementia should have the right to refuse their dinner. If the day comes when I am in that position I hope I have the wherewithal to clamp shut my jaw or to spit it in their face. Of course then they would probably medicate me into submission.
It does give a great glimpse into the fear the demented feel when they're alone and scared
God bless everyone on this journey
Your guy might appear ok later, but all the signs are there.
Someone could help program the cell phone and take the family's number to call, report your concerns to family first, imo.
He was given 6 birthday cakes by well meaning neighbors.
Another time (UTI) he was confused and was left on his porch to sit by another do gooder. When a neighbor said, "Oh he's fine, I just saw him go inside this morning"....
at noon he was found on the floor, ending in a NH to die 3 weeks later.
Your story tells it all-these are the elderly that refuse help when social services calls and nothing can be done, until they fall.
Veronica,
Muah ha ha ha. We will be keeping our doors locked.
One man used his taxi driver to take him and his wife to the casinos, he could not pay his caregiver he said, because he loaned the taxi driver $300, and had to wait to get paid back. At the same time, he is shuffling down the street in too small slip ons, the neighbors giving him shoes, food, treats, rides, and lotto tickets!
We've got a situation bubbling up locally that's making me more tender-hearted than usual: there's an elderly man who goes to the same newsagent as I do, and he was in there this morning with the new cellphone that his niece bought for him when his old one died. T, the shop owner, was helping him work out how the charger works; but T and I started exchanging worried glances when the old man got puzzled over the standard 3-pin electric plug on the charger. The only socket he could think of at his home was the two-pin shaver socket in the bathroom, and he seemed pretty sure that there weren't any others, and he was trying to work out how to break the earth pin off so he could charge his phone in the bathroom. Er... let's not do that...
T promised to go round to his house later and show him what to do. After the old man had toddled off, T told me that he and wife had been round to the house before and his wife was in tears over the state of the place. The man never married and has no children, and his wider family is some distance away. Time to call social services, we think.
He's very active, this elderly man, and always well turned-out; and he has a standing order for Camembert cheese to go with his Saturday newspaper (in spite of the rest of us customers complaining about the smell, which is verging on nuclear). It's awful to think he might be terminally losing the plot.
The cynical view is that the counting coins lady at SEARS was
another one of those elderly scam artists who make people feel sorry for them and then pay their bill.
Those scoundrels then take their money and buy a candy bar, or something extravagant.
She might still have sorted it properly beforehand, tsk. But good for that clerk, deserves a pat on the head.
Coupons-I brought coupons. But then, just for fun, I handed the other coupons out to their other customers, saving the customers a total of $15.00, U.S.
People watcher that I am.....
A couple-the man wouldn't speak to me because of cultural differences, so I had to give it to his wife. On their way out, he turned to catch my eye and gave a brief thank you nod. Reminded me of several scenes in "Under the Tuscan Sun" where the writer went out every day, waved at a neighbor passing by as he put flowers on a memorial, but he would never wave back due to cultural customs. Then, one day, he looked up at her on the balcony, and tipped his hat. She was ecstatic.
Only problem was, I accidentally gave our $5 coupon away and kept only the $2 one. It was still too too much fun.
But, I think the restaurant wants to ban me now.
Was going to say something, but forgot what it was.
Sears dear, and have a good night?
Here is a real expedition for ya:
Make a documentary (via I-phone selfies) of gas prices across the country by riding your bike. You can take a bus back home if you get too tired. Lol?
Be sure to stop at scearze to get your bike tires filled--before they close.
(petrol boutique?) to buy her liter and carry it home to her car.
Scowl.
The dmv will have to wait-I am procrastinating on purpose, but the smog passed ok. I cannot put my hands on the bill yet...it's here somewhere. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:)