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A friend of mine did that -- divorced her husband because she couldn't take care of him at home and couldn't pay for a nursing home. After the divorce, Medicare took over.
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I am a retired soldier been diagnosed with dementia my wife is my caregiver. I also have bad joints all over; I hav PTSD due to the war. We thank d good Lord the VA has been taking care of me & my wife through their caregiver program.
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My husband has dementia and today is a bad day for him (and me). He has continued to berate and belittle me all day. He is now on 750 mg of seroquel a day which makes him bearable. He is horrible to me! I am trying to keep him home but its getting harder. Our son and I care for him. (its the only way I can continue my job and pay the bills) I have to remind myself that he once adored, loved and cared for me. Its sad and I'm resentful.
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Hugs to you, upallnight. A bad day for a spouse is a bad day for the caregiver! Did you mean he is on 75 mg of seroquel?
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upallnight - what a bad situation you are in! My husband is probably at a different stage, and isn't THAT bad to me. But recently I've tried something new that might help.

My husband was telling me about how horrible his life had been. He does have evidence enough - broken home, his own divorce and more. I got a paper and started writing down two columns. He can remember the bad parts, but he forgets the good stuff. I listed everything I knew about, and the list of good stuff was much longer. He was surprised to be reminded of a silly game he used to play with our daughter, and of a very successful club he started. Just listing all his different friends changed his mood.

My therapist taught me that his angry outbursts give him a feeling of having power, and they make him feel better. That makes them a little easier to tolerate and ignore. I still don't like it, but I don't fight it so much.

Your situation does sound worse, but I hope my words can help a little.
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He takes one 300 mg at night, 150mg in the morning and another 300 mg of seroquel in the afternoon. His doctor stated he cannot filter out the negative thoughts anymore and the medicine will help him cope, and it does. I could not take care of him without it. He thinks our yard man is mowing several times a week and of course in his mind I am having a affair with him too....so I have to guard the door so he will not make a fool out of himself. He looks at papers all day long (the same ones) He tries to explain to me what it means in his mind. In reality it just junk mail or his medical insurance information. He is just 60 yrs old. He cannot walk but that does not stop him from trying and he falls everyday. He has seizures too......lots of medicine for that too. He is a mess but we are trying to keep him home at long as we can and its getting hard. His days are numbered living here and I hate to say it.
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You would thing that all the medicine would help him sleep but noooo....he roams around in his wheelchair or walker all night. If he could walk he would be out the door and gone. Our son stays up with him and listens out so I can sleep. At least when Im working I know he is safe in bed asleep.. But I worry about the phone ringing or someone knocking at the door. He cannot handle those things. Thanks for listening to my rant.
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