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pamstegman: for me, the memory loss is the hardest thing to get used to, even though it's minor. Sometimes, I mistake her memory loss for simple complaining. It's slow for me to understand and, as I understand better and remind her, more, things are working out better.

Mom and I made a detailed list of what she wanted from her house and I didn't realize she didn't remember making that list and being present to take all the things she was going to be taking. It was such a big process that I didn't realize she could forget it. It wasn't that long ago, either. Even with mild memory loss, she just doesn't remember a single thing about any of it, but is totally open to my now gentler reminders that it DID happen.
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We have a similar problem. We are cleaning out mom's house while she is in ALF. There are many items that have sentimental value that are going in storage. But all the food and ancient canned goods went in the trash. All the clothes that don't fit went to Salvation Army. Siblings said they didn't want anything, but went all to pieces when furniture went out the door. They split a gut when they saw the 10yd dumpster filled up. Too Bad, neither one wants to take over this project, so OUT it goes. We can't do it with mom, because she tells an hour long story over every dish and sweater.
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I know what you mean. We did take some of her food but not all of it. I said that anything that was open had to be thrown out. This rule worked fine until we got to the open jar of peanut butter which she really, really wanted to keep and not waste. We all griped and snarled a bit over that jar of peanut butter.

The other big problem were the blank envelopes. Mom's sister worked in a card and calendar factory and she probably has the world's largest collection of blank envelopes. I packed as many as a could then finally set a fairly small box aside that we couldn't fit in (I wasn't going to get another box and pack it just for those). Once every week or two, Mom doesn't remember the multitudes of envelopes we packed, but just that one little box we couldn't fit in and threw out.

Sibling wanted the "good" stuff, so I left behind any good collections and furniture, except for the things Mom wanted for herself. I got tired of arguing about it all and decided that having mom with me and knowing she's safe is what I should focus on.

Here's a surprise for me: Mom doesn't remember any of her collections. Looking at them, she not only didn't remember collecting them, but didn't remember any bit of them.
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well im building the commercial truck bed from h***. as sincere as gmc is they didnt forsee my kind of abuse. tghis s**t is steel, there aint no d**n sheet metal..
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Don't know if this is an accomplishment but i saw it on a survival site and it looked like a good code for caregivers to live by. All caps are my interpretations
1. Have someone to watch your back
DO NOT TRY TO DO IT ALONE
2 Be prepared to walk away
KNOW WHEN THINGS ARE OUT OF CONTROL
3 Focus on what matters first
PRIORITIZE. YOUR LOVED ONE COMES FIRST.
4 have a plan B
IN AN EMERGENCY KNOW WHAT TO DO
5 Capabilities trump gear
EDUCATE YOUSELF
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and have fun d**nt. elders are smarter by 45 years than we'll ever be. my aunt keeps me in stitches most of the time. shes the best investment of my time i could ever muster.,. she wants out of that dam icu so we can go cruising in those new trk seats.. she loves her grandkids and great g- kids but she feels safe and in control when shes with me. i sense and remedy her immediate needs.
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accomplishments - one of the best holidays ever.Put some serious distance between me and the caregiving and dysf sib
taking in a couple of young men for a few months. One did some renos here a few years ago, A large and loveable labradoodle came with them. Gary is keeping them all in line...

failure - did not want to come home and had a bad attack of post vacations blues the first day back - adjusted now.
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Welcome back emjo!
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emjo is a doll. cutest haircut in the world, an intellectual giant at that.. she aint gonna give me none of that s**t but one can fantacize. lol.. love ya emjo..
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Cap, you're such a good dude sometimes… lol… most of the time… I admire both you and emjo for the massive amounts of human integrity you both display. :-D
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emjo is a sweetie alison, i am a vile abomination. in my defense tho theres only one thing that matters to me. treating others like youd like to be treated. everybody wins. im gonna get in emjos pants but it aint a small task. shes too smart for BS.. patience, cappy, patience.. lol
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I'm mentally planning a productive day, I'll let you know later how it worked out!!
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Not in a million years Capt. Gary would horse whip you.
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Emjo are you going to tell us where you went?
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feel I accomplished something yesterday. Went to the Podiatrist and was the youngest there by 20 years. Most were in their 90 often accompanied by their loved ones. One very tall man was 92 and he had his wife with him. She was very well cared for smartly dressed but with a blank stare on her face so sad.Then there was Mary Rose who sat next to me. She could barely walk with her quad cane accompanied by frank. She said she used to baby sit him and he was always a jokester. She sent him out to the car to fetch her purse and he came back empty handed looking vaugue. She started to scold him and he gave a big smile and opened up his coat where he had hidden it! I pretty much got her life history while we sat there. her daughter is a nun and teaches kindergarten but will be comming home for Easter. She is trying to wait till school is out to have her second knee replacement. Mom would like her to retire because she is 66 but she loves those little ones too much. I know exactly where she lives and which of her friends have died but she is going to stick around a little longer to create trouble.
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im wiped out today. anemia must be catching up with me. just put in several days welding, cutting and drilling.
i was just kidding with emjo. of course gary would stomp me. he he
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Emjo's on her cruise, isn't she? Good thing too..! :) You're all talk, Cap'n x
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Captain, ask the MD how well those welding fumes will mix with your chemo. Maybe you should pass the torch and let someone else breathe in that cadmium for a few days. I recommend a daily flush with fermented hops to remove heavy metals from the kidneys.
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Actually, if you're going to have some hops, remember that grains are good for you, too. Anything with grain and hops is a health food. Didn't the food pyramid suggest 11 servings of grain per day? And, if so, who was the jerk who make us stop using the food pyramid?!?!?!
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Captain you do not stand a chance with Emjo -she like me has found her prince. I have been outside doing yard work for at least 2 hrs. everyday -it is delightful here in NY this week-may hit 70 soon. My honey is taking me out to dinner tonight.
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Captain-you remind me so much of my hubby...gruff on the outside with a heart of gold inside.
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thanks pam. ive been welding outdoors so that helps with the fumes. broke down and bought a gallon of milk. ive heard that it helps break up those toxins too. i think anemia is getting to me only one week into the tx. no appetite and no energy. still a cakewalk compared to 12 months of infergen daily.
edna is in physical rehab now. she was in the hospital for a week with a bad uti. i dont think theyre going to let her live alone again because of the dementia moreso than the mobility issue. rehab is going to let us take our daily country drives tho, thats pretty cool of them. i can go live with her if i need to. my helper can handle the current stone job. i only have two annual insurance bills so the lost income isnt even a big deal. edna will love the new bucket seats but probably not the resprung rear end. its rather brisk..
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Captain the milk is a good idea. Harrison radiator had daily milk breaks to prevent lead poisoning. Add some Ovaltine, the dark rich formula. Good stuff.
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I was in south Florida, on the cruise ship, and in the Bahamas. It was one of the best holidays I have ever had and I didn't want to come back. Weather was pretty well all in the low 80s, lots of sunshine and palm trees. Taking my time adjusting to being back.

Meeting with mothers new psychiatrist (they moved her to another unit) in a couple of weeks. Mother is on her meds b/c the other psychiatrist told her they were for her sex glands. Love it! She will be moved to a facility with a mental health mandate. Hopefully life will continue relatively smoothly after that though moving her and getting rid of some of her stuff again will be a pain, Gary will help of course.

Gary need not horse whip anyone, though he is great with a lasso. I can look after myself. Saw him lasso a nervous mare once - just a flick of his wrist and she was roped.
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Hope you are listening Capt!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i apologise emjo. kidding around can cross a line sometimes and become insulting or potentially embarassing. sorry..
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Emjo..... glad you had a wonderful time! You needed it!
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thx norest - I needed it more than knew and it did me a world of good.

no prob, cap. I was hit on by a couple of old guys on the cruise. I couldn't figure out what one was up to and Gary told me he was hitting on me. G is not the jealous type. The other one hit on me at breakfast, before coffee when I had no make up on and not even my glasses to hide the bags under my eyes. I took that one as a real compliment. Must go on holiday more often. Seriously, it has distanced me from the dysfun fam issues in a big way. Hope that lasts longer than the minuscule tan I got. Sunscreen 60 spf does work!
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today has been a non success from the start. sigh. im exhausted from the truck bed work so i figured id eat two ambien and get these bones rested up. nope. 6 ribavirin negates the ambien and in fact wires you up like a japanese radio.. we call it riba rage.. makes ya feel like a rat on acid.. this entire treatment is only 6 weeks long. one of the greatest breakthrus in recent medical history. over 30 % of egyptions have hepc. the number is just as high in other lesser developed countries too..
the only thing i miss about the old interferon attempts was the near insanity. its exhaustive and incapacitating but man you can sit and draw cartoons that will still be hilarious a thousand years from now.
one of my timeless favorites was mom, edna , jake and myself on a jet trip to AZ. i sketched myself informing a perplexed looking airline ticket girl that them two old gals made me what i am -- a fuzzy faced f - in wierdo. lol..
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hope edna is getting better, cap

my accomplishment yesterday was doing absolutely nothing. The night before there was a mild testosterone war between G and the young roomers who took liberties with his stuff. They are spreading like oil on water. Think we got it sorted out. One is very bull headed - listens and then does what he wants. I realised that I am having a "herx" reaction due to taking antifungal and decided to yield to it, and veg/sleep all day. Snowed here again - when will this stop!
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