You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
My mom isn't funny per se, but has just the best hallucinations. She's Lewy Body Dementia. When she first moved into IL, she said a cat had come into her apt. Then again a couple of weeks later, then again... Kitty just sat over in the corner, no food, no petting, just was there very matter of fact. Her apt was 3rd floor in a corner by emergency stairs. So after kitty #3, I walked her floor and the apt's right below her to ask about who's kitty it could be. Well no pets allowed except on ground floor of IL. Hallucination. A couple of months later, a bunny appeared in the same corner twice. But this time, she was po'd because bunnies are supposed to leave candy and a basket. Got to love what dementia does to the brain.
My story is of when my (then) 82 year old Mum when to hospital to have a 'ring' fitted as an outpatient due to a prolapsed womb which was causing problems with her waterworks.
Firstly she refused point blank to have the procedure done unless myself and my sister were with her as the doctor looked like 'he should still be in nappies' ! We obliged and were positioned either side of her, holding her hands, and all was going well until she suddenly shouted "Stop, Stop - I feel like I'm having an organism - and I don't want another baby at my age !!" Well, after a few seconds of stunned silence, everyone in the room burst into laughter (including the frosty-faced doctor).
Mum died the end of January and I miss her so much. It's so good that the happy and funny memories are starting to take over from the misery. I need and appreciate this site for all that you do.
I will say current funny, when my MIL talks about the llama-like creatures she has seen in our backyard, I just have to bite my cheek to keep from laughing.
Then after she passed I took her cell phone and listened to all the messages. There really wasn't anything, except that over the course of a year and a half, her 90 year old little sister had left 13 messages on the phone, yelling into the phone... as if when she spoke louder, mom would be able to hear her, telling mom to PICK UP THE PHONE! Finally, one of the last messages she said she would send her husband, who used to work for the phone company but is now dead, the 5 hour trip to my mom's to teach her how to use the phone. By the time we heard the last message of mom's little sister yelling PICK UP THE PHONE we were in tears, laughing so hard. They were great sisters. They talked to each other at least twice a day, even though they lived 5 hours apart. Now I try to call mom's little sister every now and then, just to give her a boost ...
Thank you so much for making me laugh again with this wonderful topic! I love it. After being sad at the loss of my mom, you are helping me remember the good times and cherish them even more.
The diagnosis wasn't what he was most concerned about...
His big fear was about a carotid artery ultrasound test he has to take next week.
He wanted to know, if they were going to make him wear a tin foil hat & hook up wires to his head, & accused me of conspiring with the Dr.s to put him in, His words.. "The Loony Bin"
His recent cognitive test results said there is no evidence of delusional thinking or thought disorder.