Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
Daisy -about 50F here now and I love it. Prob going up to 65 and very windy this afternoon which I don't love. The field outside is getting greener.
Hope you get some rain!! So no fires start near you, that's gotta be so scary.
Speaking of fires, there was an abandoned mill fire near moms, this weekend. When my oldest was 15 one summer day him and his friend decided to build a small fire and skateboard over it. The biggest issue with that was, they built it in an old abandoned rather large TP factory, I'm sure you can imagine what happened next. So this brought back some memories..... 🤪
Gershun, my mom's got one she loves, I was actually planning on buying one myself, I'll let you know later the brand.
Anyway............does anyone have any recommendations for another brand. This one worked good when it worked but had constant charging cord issues. I'm looking for one mostly for my couches etc. and prefer one that has a brush roller.
Anyone have any suggestions?
Temps are very moderate and cool at night. We had a few warm days last week. Summer is coming! Here we can have the odd snowstorm in May.
I heard my Vermont neighbors have had some bad flooding in places
It's only 12 degrees here right now. Rainy and thunder and
lightning. Happy May long weekend!
Apologies to the modest women who find this is a sensitive topic. I know I do, but it is necessary to speak up. Those not having many Uti's may not understand the vigilant care necessary for prevention once UTI's become a problem and more frequent.
Even at home, one could over-clean, over-use toilet paper, and ruin the normal pH.
I read we should be using toilet paper wiping only twice. Front to back.
You can use a sitz bath (portable sits on toilet/Amazon) to clean in between showers.
It is partially a hygiene issue, not showering enough, but it could be caused by over-cleansing. Not thoroughly drying when you are in a hurry. (when traveling, you are in a hurry.) After showering, you can use a hair dryer to gently dry in all the folds.
Wearing cotton underwear is recommended, or at least a cotton crotch.
Do not wear undies too tight. It is recommended that sometimes sleeping without underwear allows the air to circulate.
Maybe take your own toilet paper for use in public restrooms. Who knows what is in that toilet paper, and where it has rolled? On the floor? And, sometimes, there is no toilet paper.
And, never be the woman who says I am not drinking anything because I will need to pee. Drink, add electrolytes to prevent dehydration.
Driving Daisy is right about sugary drinks not being beneficial. Always finish the entire course of antibiotic. Be prepared to get diagnosed with a yeast infection after the antibiotic and treat it.
Hope this was helpful. Everyone's comments have also helped me.
Can’t really avoid strange bathrooms during travel .
I drink a lot the last few days before day of a long airplane trip . Then after landing stay hydrated during trip .
Are you using different soap than usual when you travel ? There is also ph balanced liquid soap just for the private areas you could try . There are also women’s wipes for private areas .
Maybe after the long airplane trip change underwear asap? And like already said change undies twice a day ?
I’m not quite sure what travel has to do with it except maybe the sitting a long time ( sweating 🤷♀️) .
I was away from home for 2 nights this week, arrived home & work up this morning with cysitis symptoms - burning & frequency 😞
I try to drink a little extra water.
I try to reduce caffinated drinks (but I love coffee so much).
Fresh undies of couse daily & wear very loose pj pants (unless needing a pad with frequency leaks). I also try to add some greek yoghurt or scandi type yogurt drink with cultures everyday to my diet.
I do pack the Ural sachets or tablets but I will definately look at D-Mannose as a preventative for a longer trip.
Holidays are precious. An awful UTIs is a very unwelcome travel companion.
One can also get it from touching oneself with unclean hands.
Watching YouTube when not sleeping, here is some advice to prevent UTI's.
Change your underwear every night before bed, even if you are not bathing or showering.
Take D-Mannose instead of cranberry juice. It is easier on your stomach.
Perhaps your friend should bring the food to these two people if she’s nervous about the logistics , and possible falls while out.
Most places will make carry out orders.
Most people don’t understand , that’s why other family members ( not involved ) clash with those who are involved .
I told her this and I told her she was always acting like she was better than me because she took great care of her dad after he moved in with her. I told her, you took care of him for 6 months, not 5 years. Huge difference! She said but he lived with me!! I said that does NOT make it better!! Did you have to endlessly worry about your dad , falling down the stairs! NO, because you where there. I also told her last week, mom would have fallen on her back, on cement, if I wasn't there to catch her, now that's in my head endlessly. So no what you did was not any harder than what I did, and should NOT be compared!!
Only people who had mentally ill mothers like ours who made us responsible for their lack of happiness as well as their failures as parents would understand . We did not have normal childhoods , and it is a lifelong work to gain a normal life even without having to be responsible for the same abuser in their elderly years .
I envied those families who could take a parent home for the holiday or out to a restaurant as my mother complained because I did not take her out . Had I taken her out she would have refused to go back . Mom would see the other residents come and go with family.
I envied those families who visited a parent who got a hello and a kiss .
I instead would get ambushed and leave crying . The facility Director recommended I visit less. The activities director witnessed my mother’s behavior towards me and told my mother “ If you were my mother I would not visit you until you treated me nice “.
I was not living my life normally while my mother was in a facility either . I withdrew from family and friends , my days consumed with waiting for the next fire that Mom set . Waiting for her to be kicked out and hoping that she qualified for SNF or died before getting kicked out of AL .
After Mom’s death , followed anger , deep depression and finally relief . “ Having felt safer “ since Mom is gone.
We aren’t all living it up just because a parent is in a facility . I frankly do not care if you call what I did caregiving or just individual survival .
As Daisy says "Pain is pain."
As Way says "Everyone’s experience is different."
Some of us with mentally aberrant parents have been doing a form of caregiving most of our lives, having much more responsibility for others' wellbeing than is healthy for a child or young adult. I, for one, felt only relief on my mother's passing and have felt safer in this life since. The grief of the lack of normal mothering was felt over the years.
Of course, it's not the same a diaper changing or spoon feeding, but, like Way, I would have preferred that.
I agree that comparison's in this case are not helpful. Walk a mile in my shoes...
The worrying about accusations , schemes , lies, behaviors of an abusive , uncooperative parent with dementia ( who refused meds ), trying to get herself kicked out of a facility was a daily major stressor . Waiting for the next time the facility called , or my mother called with abusive threats , or when the police would call me again because Mom called 911 with accusations, or Mom had called Ombudsman again because the number was on a poster in the hallway right outside her room .
I would have preferred to change depends and spoon feed a cooperative parent. Mother refused hands on care .
My father with cancer was infinitely easier to take care of than my mother with dementia .
I was not doing hands on caregiving for Mom , but I was living a 24/7 nightmare .
I don’t think it serves any purpose to compare different situations.