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Every day is a new day when your parents both suffer from an illness that right now, science can't solve yet.
My Mom was doing just fine with the way she had everything set for the future back in 2004.
Then the prodigal daughter returned, the one who disappointed her the most over the years.
When Mom's Alzheimer's started, my sister convinced Mom I was the terrible one and trying to take everything from her money to her house.
Ffunny thing, no one could find the Durable POA that Mom had signed back in 2004 naming me to take care of everything for her.
Enter sister who convinced her to change things. After 10 yrs living in Mom's house, she up and leaves. Then I am told I need to take care of everything now!!
I needed Mom to place her thumbprint on the copy of the Durable I had from 2004. This woman was like watching the Exorcist, I kid you not.
This began in April, now I am her guardian/conservator and she doesn't remember who I am.
I think your Mom is at this point. She is saying things to your Father and all he hears is his wife telling him what to do, can't separate the reality from what is locked in his mind.
I would just let her talk and say her piece. The only way she or dad can revoke is to have a new one prepared, who's going to take your place?
If dad has 24/7 care....beware that this could be coming from one of the caregivers.
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You seem very understandably overwhelmed. As holder of the POA, you can resign. Usually, there is a provision about how to appoint someone else to be in charge. You can hire someone to hold the POA. Absent resigning and getting a new POA, why not get a case manager who can run interference but you still have ultimate responsibly for their affairs. You retain control, but someone else can handle the grief.
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