I haven't posted much in a while but I am a lone caregiver. My parents are now in memory care. Pretty much all my family (3 siblings) and all my mom's siblings and cousins have pretty much turned their backs on me and my parents.
Well... I know I shouldn't look at facebook.. but I just cant keep myself from doing it ... Anyway my sister (who hasn't spoken to me or checked on my mom and dad in about a year... is starting to post on facebook.. praying for distant cousins about this and that.. saying happy birthday to distant relatives who she hasn't communicated with in years.. all the while let my birthday go by with nothing... and my mom's and my dad's.
I just can't control the anger from this.. and to stop thinking about how fake she is.. pretending to the rest of the "family" that she is this caring person.. and.. they are buying it..I guess its easy to be "loving" to people who don't really need it.
I shouldn't be looking at facebook, and I shouldn't let this bother me.. but it does.. sure wish these losers didn't still have such an affect on my life.
Just don't get how you can turn your back on your sister and parents (who you seemingly used to care for).. and have the gall to post about "pray for my brother because he lives near the hurricane ".. my brother who she hasn't seen in over 10 years.
This is just a vent.. I need a punching bag with her fake face on it!!! I hope someday she is alone and needs support and signs on to facebook and sees something equally as fake and disgusting!@!!~
im so sorry to hear the reason behind your siblings behavior. That is awful and really sad they don’t have any sense of humanity. Set your boundaries that are in YOUR best interest. If that means deleting her on FB, then do it. You will not miss seeing her posts. In the Bible there is a piece about Jesus saying how the Jewish Pharisees did what they did to show off how devout they were when indeed it was to impress others. Matthew 23:5. Sounds a bit like her behavior. Also Matthew 6:1. Not a Christian life when your actions don’t match.
F B is just one problem. There's instagram, twitter, cloud, snapchat, you name it.
I was a F B member for about a year. The reason I quit was A: my one sister spent her time ranting about Donald Trump ad nauseum. B: an old boyfriend (actually not even a boyfriend) just this random guy who I dated a couple of times, contacted me and actually thought I'd still be interested 30 years later. I was actually insulted to be honest.
As far as people bragging. People who brag are usually insecure and need to project that they are having such a great life cause they are probably really not having such a great life. They are trying to convince themselves actually.
And just remember too, that anyone can post anything. It doesn't mean it's actually true.
Sure, complete strangers on this site could brag and some do but it doesn't sting as much when it's a stranger, at least that's my opinion.
Don't get me wrong. Sometimes social media can be helpful. The information highway so to speak. You can look stuff up and sometimes people can set up GoFundme pages to solicit help, which is nice if it's legit.
It is a bitter experience. For your sanity, I’d recommend either unfriend them or do the option to hide their posts. If you unfriend them, they will know. If you hide their posts, they won’t know.
I would close the FB acct. As another person stated "the whole thing of following and the likes is childish" and it is. Why put yourself through something so hurtful when you are already dealing with so much grief. And really, we all are on this site! We lose our family (as a whole as well as individully) because of a disease that has no rym or reason to it. We lose people we love or we end up taking care of people who should have loved us but didn't. We lose ourselves. Our world becomes so different that we don't even understant it any more. You have enough grief to deal with.
And like so many of you, I have a brother who I have never gotten along with, but for everything my mother has done for him he will only help her if she pays him, and he was like that with my dad as well.
I believe people reap what they sow! In my experience I have seen it. One day your sister will come to realize that she missed out the last few years she could of had with your parents but didn't! And there will be a time when she will need help or compassion, and no one will be there. Call it the laws of the universe if you will. I don't even understant why this happens, it just does.
She will need you someday or perhaps need someone and you won't be there for whatever reason, she'll have to feel the pain. Don't waste your time and energy on her. Believe me it is not worth it, and I speak on experience. I have wasted so much of my time and energy on getting mad over what people have said, and things that I had no control over and they wasn't even worth it. Because at the end all we have is God, ourselves, and if we're lucky a few people that love us for us. As some many have said, "take care of you & enjoy your life"
May God help you through your difficult time. God bless you.
we do feel your pain and isolation..... you can ease both on this site as so many of us have experienced what your going through....
My grumpy old pa died last year and I miss him so much.... I do not miss the two faced hypocrites .... my sisters!
when our dad was drawing his last breath.... my sister was ten minutes away and said ‘I’m in the middle of a shampoo and set, I’ll be there later’...
Yes .... too late.... but was first in the que to receive her share of inheritance.
Stay strong Katie xx
(Do not confuse by adding an s or .com)
You can post how your LO is doing, photos, pleasent past memories, a diary, by you or LO. You control access. There are other pages for requests for help, a calendar to coordinate help, rides, shopping, visitors.
Maybe you can get a friend or member of volunteer group to set it up. I don't think it has a page to request money, but you can list items needed, and people with access can buy them for you. Again, you control who can see each level.
It was a great help to my Aunt as she fought cancer, and for her friends. It created a way for friends, church members....you can allow access to members of a church you are not a member of, Volunteer groups.
Most schools and many private colleges require a minimum of volunteer hours. It looks good on college applications and job applications. So let people looking to help someone, on their time schedule, plug themselves in. It also allows backup people to be listed. So if person who is supposed to help today, can't, or is a no show, you backup person is on the calendar. It is a great tool!
Think outside the box! A photographer did a photo study of my Grandma. It was part of the his Master's project, but amatures may also be interested. He spent hours visiting, interviewing her, working on puzzles together, or taking pictures when Grandpa did puzzles with her.
This rapport allowed GP to take a break, grabs nap, run to the store, or do his hobby. That really helped his Mental Health!
Then it's Facebook all night for the rest of the night.
And I am the one who set up his acct, thinking he might get a kick out of it.
I refer to it as Fake Book. All things to be taken with a chunk of salt.
Those on a higher level of ability can always dial it down to tend to those less fortunate.
This is how you learn a lot more than you usually do. Your environment is is sphere around you, never ignore it because you will miss a lot.
my husbands own mother won’t even FaceTime him because “I don’t want to look at him. It will be too upsetting for me”. Well guess. How that’s making your little boy feel? She will not speak to me at all nor do his two brothers now that I no longer have to be endured. It makes me feel angry at these behaviours but I have resolved to just forget about them as they are a waste of space
you should do the same. It’s hard but once you just see them as nothing it gets easier. Imagine writing their names on a blackboard and then wiping them off until their name.has vanished