While reading JohnDBarry34's post, "I am so very tired and sad.", I realized that we all want and need to escape our responsibilities of caring for our loved one for awhile. It's normal when we feel trapped in a difficult situation, without being able to see the end of our duties. For many of us, the whole 24 hours are spent catering to our loved ones. Even though we love them, we want to leave at times, to cultivate our lives, enjoy and have fun.
So, my question is;
Where would you go? Would it be close to home, another city, around the world or out of this world. Close your eyes for a couple of minutes and let your mind journey to a happy place.
My "happy place" is the beach in Bucerias, Nayarit, Mexico. We used to go with friends when we lived there and we had such a good time. The sand was clean and fine grain, which felt great between the toes, the sun was warm with a faint ocean breeze, and you could wade out quite far in the ocean to catch little waves with the boogie boards. The pelicans would fly in formation high in the sky.
The ladies would set to work on making ceviche and the guys would bring out the Coronas. Everyone would sit under the canopy, eating, talking and laughing. After having our fill, more ocean time. At the end of the day we'd pile into our pickup, sandy and content.
I feel tears welling up in my eyes for the good memories. My heart longs to be there once more. On really hard caregiving days, I close my eyes for a minute and think back to the good times on that beach. It renews me for awhile, like a 2 minute vacation. It also gives me hope that it will still be there when all this madness is over. Hope is what keeps us going.
Our situation is that I am staying with mom, and there was no one at home (it's just me) to look after my older cat when I started doing it. (I have someone staying at my place now.) I got the kitten as a buddy for my older cat after I started staying with mom, as she lives 6 floors up and it's pretty boring for kitty with no trees or wildlife to watch (just the occasional pigeon!). Plus for my sanity! The kitten really lifts the overall mood around here. :-)
It was soooooo wonderful to be in my own home, even for a couple of hours! I missed the trees! They are golden and half-bare. Plus the kitten got to see where we REALLY live for the first time. He seemed to think it was the funnest place on earth! Which was awesome. Maybe he picked up my lifted mood. My friend and I are going to do more "home visits," for my sanity's sake, and so that the kitten knows our home.
I'm so glad I found this forum!
I lived in that neighborhood for 20 years. We had a great group of friends in that neighborhood! We could walk to each other's house for parties, cook outs, holidays, sit on the porch with lanterns when we lost power due to storms, walk together to the store in snow storms, etc. Then it dawns on me that WE have ALL moved away. One friend moved to be nearer to her senior parents, another one got married, another moved to a one floor house....I get that....man, it makes me sad. But, oh, the memories. We sure did have great times for awhile. I hope to move back one day. But, I have a house in another area. I don't think it'll ever be like my real home though.
Your OP was beautiful and it touched me. I can recognize myself in your feelings.
That beach, it will always be there for you. I just wanted to say this.
well, I suppose it might be alright if someone else was bringing in the firewood and serving me a just-from-the-oven bread and dessert, but you had better have a nice furnace that kicks in after the fire dies down at night.
Changing direction a bit, as Fall creeps in and Winter isn't too far behind, does anyone dream about being out in the wild hiking in the snow, or even just being in a log cabin, warmed by a fireplace, relaxing with a warm quilt, and just watching the winter activity of birds and possibly a few 4 legged critters?
Or dreaming of baking something you've grown or stored from a garden and allowing the fragrance of that freshly baked dessert, or better yet home made bread, waft through the house and tempt you?
Momshelp,
In July I want to hear EVERY detail about Hawai'i. I've been once but that's just the frosting on the cake! Good for you guys. Think positive, it WILL work out.
Garden Artist,
I wouldn't normally encourage someone to max out their credit card, but I can "see" you hiking in the long grass and edelweiss of the Austrian hills with your walking stick! Go, take a slew of pictures and I'll bet you'd win the Nat Geo contest!
Dadsdew,
Yeah, you probably are trapped, as many of us are. But this thread is for dreaming---fantasy that can turn into reality!
Where would you go if money, time and caregiving wasn't a problem?
While I know that I can't go anyway too far right now, I know that one day, I'l be able. I'll have to work extra hard, but, it's doable. I hope my new husband will be on board.
You can literally feel as though you're there. My longing is always increased by watching these, so I have to pull out my bank statement to get me back to reality.
Uh, oh, my visions just flashed to a gently sloped mountainside with a herder taking his or her sheep up to feeding grounds. I can even hear the tinkling of cowbells from another herd somewhere!
I think you'd love such a trip - I would!
I love the NAT Geo programs and website. There's a contest on now for best photographs. The photos are incredible, just unbelievably stunning. (PM me if you want a link.)
Momshelp, the Hawaii travel programs can often be a vacation in and of themselves, especially if they're accompanied by the soft, lovely and lilting Hawaiian songs. The islands are so lovely, so peaceful (except for the volcanic activity) that for me just watching the programs is like a real journey. Sometimes I even eat pineapple to pretend I'm in Hawaii!
(I've tried the gentle swaying dances but still have a long way to go to become proficient and graceful!)