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Nokonoko, I am not saying using the funds for appropriate services is wrong at all. My issue is that my brother has decided this without me and my father's input whatsoever. When I simply asked questions I am told to "Shut up. This is the way it's going to be." My father does not need those services right now.

That is wrong. No one is going to silence my questions or opinions when it comes to the care of my father.

Does the POA give my brother the right to spend my father's funds even though my father is competent and does not want those services, at least not yet?
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What is wrong with using the funds for more care? What exactly would your feedback be?

I think you need to understand with PoA your father gets no say legally so to speak.
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PeggySue2020, there is something you are missing - My brother informed of things they are now going to do for my father, like using his funds for more care, and he would not even let me voice input, even input that was in agreement what he want to do. But the real issue is: MY FATHER DID NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT THESE PLANS!

There's no way they will dismiss my opinion while I have a relationship with. Therefore there will be no more relationship. What a crumby, controlling brother. My guess is that this situation isn't uncommon.
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Lisa, your brother is in charge because dad wanted him to be. And unless you are prepared to offer the alternative in money or time AND dad is of sound mind to make you the poa, it really does seem like bro holds the cards here.

Its strange that it’s just so black and white with both of you. Super unfair that he expected you to pay 100 percent for the providers, but kinda unfair that you’ve been paying 0 percent. You may not be able to offer 100 percent, but if what you can is 15 percent, it just seems like something y’all could work through. But both of you can’t even.

I think it’s high time to reassess your role in being local and super involved in dads care arrangements when dad moved there himself and now bro is poa. An al doesn’t necessarily mean lack of independence, either.
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