I have noticed that I do not feel as "sharp" or "smart" as I used to before I became a caregiver. I can only compare this to the mommy brain that I had when my children were both infants. When I am in a social situation lately I am at a loss for conversation. This is distressing to me because I look so forward to getting out and being around non-demented people and then when I am there I have nothing to say and feel out of place. I feel that people avoid me because of my situation. I may be sensitive but there are others out there who have a great amount of guilt about not taking care of their elderly parents and I think they feel awkward around me also. Being in the situation of having a low level stress at all times makes my mind simple. I read crappy magazines and watch dumbed down TV just like my Mom. I know there are gifts that go along with the difficult task of taking care of our elders and I appreciate those. I just do not want to become an empty shell with no personality.
SIL occasionally asks me to go to the movies with her. I'd love to go, but I probably wouldn't enjoy it, because I'd be worried about Mom at home alone all the time - just like when I go to get groceries.
They pick her up in ambulance and bring her back too.
I highly recommend hospice
It sounds like heaven to send our parent out so we can have respite. When we have pets, going somewhere ourselves carries extra stress. I wish I could get my mother to go somewhere for a week. She would if my brother would take her, but I'm not holding my breath for that to happen. Majorly jealous, Maria.
It really helps to get my MIL away from me for several days. It's.a pain to organize and make happen................but it gets me to feeling like a human being again. Is it worth the expense and effort (getting respite care at a nursing home for five nights)? For me - yes. It helps to keep one foot in the real world so that once we're finally free, we won't have forgotten how to live and enjoy life again.