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An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie....
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One of Minion's many sayings:Surround yourself with people who make you laugh until your abs hurt. That way you never actually have to work out.
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Halloween Group Therapy:
Vampire says, "My love life bites!"
Ghost says, "I'm not the man I used to be!"
Carved Pumpkin, "I feel hollow inside!"
Witch, "I curse everything!"
Zombie, "I haven't felt alive in years!"
Head inside a large jar, "I just feel disconnected!"
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Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don't try to convince me that
There's something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don't last.
And it's not true that
It's all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one's surroundings are good
It's not true that good exists
I'm sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It's all beyond my control
And you'll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a good day

Now Read From Bottom To Top
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I don't know cars but this sign makes it seem that some cars may not have the oomph power:

Speed limit sign: SPEED LIMIT ...85
Right below it, they posted another road sign: Chevys.. Just do the Best you Can
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I just got off FB. Someone shared a YouTube video that I found funny and some not so funny. While watching this video, I realize how dangerous going to Kmart can be. Imagine those rows of shelves tipping over - like dominoes. Scary...

If you google: When You're having just the worst day at work.
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There was one humorous story that I was tempted to post here. But, my spiritual conscience reminded me that it was inappropriate for me to do so. I even tried to find a way to alter it so that it's a 'cleaner' version. But, I decided it's best to let it go.
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That's what I thought, too. She was brave to go against the grain. And I'm glad that she mentioned it. Kudos to all nurses and caregivers. (Well, I threw in the caregivers...)
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Book, just saw a blurb on the news. Great! About time these contests become more about who you are instead of what you look like!
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Have you seen Miss Colorado in the Talent Miss America competition? She's a nurse. Instead of singing or dancing, she decided to talk about her job and Joe, a live-in Alzheimer client.

Google: Miss Colorado nurse skips the song and dance, talks about nursing Youtube.
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An elderly couple are on their way home from their 60th wedding anniversary party at their daughters house. They're driving down a lonely country road, silent, lost in their thoughts. Suddenly the woman slugs her husband in the shoulder. "Oww! Why did you do that," he yelled. She replied, "That's for 60 years of bad sex!" They drove a while longer in silence when suddenly the man slugs his wife in the shoulder. She yelled and asked, "What the hell was that for?" "For knowing the difference" he responded.
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I'm guessing she did. She has her own way of getting back at hubby for whatever he's done to her!
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Garden, when I first read this, I wondered if the wife purposely said those things to get him in trouble. On her last comment, I just laughed.
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Bookluvr, thanks for the laugh this morning!
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir ."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. "

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don"t be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn"t have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you"re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you"re driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON"T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma"am?"

"Only when he"s been drinking, officer."
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This next post is something that has been on my mind, since Ferguson. I knew at the time, seeing the increasing violence and anti-police that it will bode badly to these cities. What really got to me - was how a Lot of these Higher Up Position people were so fast to blame the police. And did Nothing to stop or even at least show Disfavor of these anti-police actions/comments. Now, months later, I see in the news the steadily increase of crime/violence. I just feel sooo bad for the police and their family. It's too bad.

If you have kept up with the news, you would have heard how this police was putting gas in his vehicle when he was shot several times from behind. It's so sad because he was going to retire soon. I'm mentioning this because it's leading up to the post below - from FaceBook. I have included the poster's name - because it is her account of what happened.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tommi Jones Kelley
Yesterday near Houston, TX, United States •Edited •

Ok, so EARLY this morning I was pumping gas in my patrol car (reason I look like a Hot Mess!)...& add it was pouring rain...

When this teenager I've never met before is standing right behind me & says, "ma'am, do u mind if I stand here behind you while u get ur gas?"

My initial response was "and why?"...

His reply, "to make sure You stay safe!"

Finished pumping my gas & he was still standing there, in the rain

He then just walked off & started to get into the passenger side of a car & I asked the driver if she was his Mom & indeed she was. I told her she has an amazing son & she said he wanted to make sure no one hurt me.

Yes, I'm the one with the gun on my hip while he stood there empty handed, but he for sure had my "6" while my back was turned.

With all the terror going on nationwide, this reassured me there are still some pretty awesome individuals out there!
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(From FaceBook)
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘seniors’ special was 2 egss, bacon, hash browns & toast for $2.99.

My wife said, “Sounds good. But I don’t want the eggs.”
The waitress said, “I’ll have to charge you $3.49 because you’re ordering a la carte.”
“You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the egss?” my wife asked incredulously.
“YES!” stated the waitress.
My wife said, “I’ll take the special then.”
The waitress asked, “How do you want your eggs?”
My wife replied, “Raw & in the shell.”

She took the 2 eggs home and baked a cake.
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Gershun, thank you! I giggled on your post.
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A woman comes back from her doctor's appt. She is telling her husband all about it.
She says "he said my cholesterol is down, my thyroid is normal, blood pressure good etc. etc." Husband comes back with "what did he say about your big, fat ass?"
Wife says"Oh we didn't talk about you at all dear"
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(From FaceBook) .... Nurse telling the account:

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80’s, presented to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

I Asked him if he had a doctor’s appointment this morning somewhere else, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. “And you are still going every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled as he patted my hand and said. “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

I had to hold back my tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will always be. No matter what the situation is, true love remains.

TRUE LOVE is forever, faithful & loyal.
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From Facebook...

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar & well-fed belly that he had a home & was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner & fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, & I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in the yard, walked inside & resumed his spot in the hall & again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful dog is & ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day, he arrived for his nap,with a different note pinned to his collar: "he lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3. He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"
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I was going to post "why am I so grumpy?" I guess this is what I need a little more of! Thanks!
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Glad, I had an idea of what was going to happen. And I still gasped out loud when it happened!
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Google "aspirin cardio auction"
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The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date wearing a see-through blouse and no bra.

Her grandmother pitched a fit, telling her not to out like that. The teenager tells her, "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.

The next day, the teenager comes downstairs, and grandmother is sitting there with no top on.

The teenager wants to die. She explains to Gram that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...

The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

- courtesy of facebook post
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I enjoyed this ingenious (and funny!) marriage proposal. At least Australian Liam Cooper did not do the typical 'sports arena' proposal. He chose a great song and skit. What's more, I was laughing at the girlfriend's reaction. Although I did find it tastefully done, I still think that marriage proposals should be private. How can you say 'No' when friends, family and strangers are all waiting for you to answer - and the expected answer of 'yes'?

Google: Australian man's epic movie theatre proposal.
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Book, yes that was very touching. He was on a mission that s for sure! And best part is he accomplished it with just a little bit of help.
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Ha! I was able view the English subtitle version video. Made it even funnier. Not granddaughter...but daughter. Thanks. I'm going to share this with my family.
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Glad, that was funny! I watched the original version and was laughing at the granddaughter's expressions. Then tried the English subtitles- that's inoperative. So rewatched it in the original. Anyway, her expressions just tells it all.
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Will google that, Book.

And while you all are googling google "iPad chopping board"
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