I'm new to this forum and looking to meet other caregivers. My mother is no longer able to care for herself and needs someone with her at all times. She also gets confused at times. She thinks she can get up and walk by herself but she can't because she gets dizzy and falls. I left her alone for a few minutes to go to the bathroom the other day and when I went back to her she had gotten up. She broke her arm last summer and has not been the same. Another family member, family friend and I are providing most of my Mom's care. The whole situation is very stressful.
I appreciate your advice. My Mom tends to start doing something and then stops and stares(blank stare) for a minute and doesn't do what she started. She also gets up alone sometimes. She thinks she can. Something like that to keep her safe is a great idea.
I agree that my Mom may be in the beginning stages of dementia. She used to say don't mind me "I have chemo brain" Now it's more than that. She can't tell me what the date is when asked. I have a calendar on her table that we keep next to her when she's watching TV. She knows the year but told her doctor that it was February when asked last week at her PCP appointment. She's having a brain MRI and a PET scan on Monday so hopefully we'll get some answers. She is definitely not the same. Another clue to me is that she used to be a back seat driver but lately she does not say a word about my driving. I used to cringe when I had to drive her anywhere.
I cared for my dad until he died last May and this site was kind enough to let me stay and continue to share my experiences. You're in good hands.
I'm glad that you have the support of a family member and friend while caring for your mom. You just know it's difficult and stressful when it takes 3 people to take care of one little old lady. Although she's not that old.
And while you didn't ask for advice, and I'm sure you do very well with your mom, I saw something the other day I'd like to share. I'm a nurse and at times I do evaluations in facilities. While in a facility I saw a woman who was in a wheelchair and she had that blank stare we associate with dementia or Alzheimer's. She was non verbal. And she continued to try to get up from her wheelchair. But then I saw that she was attached to her wheelchair by a thin, lightweight rope that was attached from the back of the wheelchair (where the back hits her upper back) to the clothes on her shoulder. It allowed her to move around in the wheelchair but would give a slight tug back if she tried to get up. It was fastened by regular clips you would find in a drugstore (little metal thingee's with teeth). She was by no means restrained but I saw that every time she tried to get up that thing would offer resistance and she would sit back in the wheelchair again. I thought it was magnificent. It wasn't cruel or inhumane. It just kept her safe.
Just an FYI.
Again, welcome!
Your mother sounds like she may have a touch of dementia. I've noticed that many older people develop what looks like dementia after they go through chemo. I wonder if there is any relation there. It sounds like she has had a rough last few years and everyone is suffering with her. I wish that she would stay seated when no one is around. I know that is a huge problem, since she is likely to fall.
You're in good company. We know there are no easy answers. Talking about the problems, though, help a lot. I get a lot of help here, just reading what other people write. It feels good to know we're not alone.
Has your mother had a stroke or does she have Alzheimers or other disease? Or is she simply aging? Does she live in her own home? Do you live with her?
There are many ways we all caregive and all have their challenges. You'll find lots of support here.