Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I’m glad you are doing further testing to see what’s going on.
Have missed reading your posts. Keep us updated. Take care.
Getting the Whoops Cat on some people/posts.
See y'all later.
Very very busy here today.
So happy that you are able to find comfort in scriptures that are meaningful to you.
It’s difficult to lose siblings. Our families reduce in size as we age. Even though we don’t want to see them suffering anymore, we still miss them in our lives.
Thinking of you and sending hugs your way.
thank you everyone. I am so proud of my niece because she did not feel she could handle bringing her mama back to her home. She did it and right now it is overwhelming to her but I know in coming months she will be comforted that she did. I am so happy my sis was surrounded by her family inKentucky. I am very grateful for the happy memories I made with my sis while in Kentucky. We had great laughs as she was getting better. Thank you again.
Thinking that now peace can start.
Wishing you peace during this difficult time. Hugs 🫂 !
Good for you! You’re wise to know that you have no control over how others feel.
It’s liberating to let things go rather than trying to convince others that their way of thinking isn’t the best.
Arrangements had been made before our mother passed in 2016 for my sis to be cremated and her ashes placed with our parents in California. We will have a graveside service in late spring 2024
Ali, I totally understand you keeping the peace with family. God bless you for doing that. It is hard but we do have to realize it’s not on us but on the dysfunctional members that have not evolved.
thank You all again and sending my heartfelt hugs and prayers for everyone.
I stayed quiet most of the evening. But then we got into a big discussion about my schizophrenic brother and the hell the family went through over the years. The biggest incident that occurred during my childhood was one time he attacked my mom. I was the one that broke that up because I had been up watching and waiting like I did most nights during that period. My narc sister has somehow rewritten that night. I called her on it and that was my mistake. Should have kept my mouth shut like Ali suggested. Narc sis and I usually keep a distance between us and that started the ball rolling.
Another thing that happened that irked me is when we were leaving narc sis was fawning all over my hubs telling him how handsome he looked and rubbing his shoulders. She has done this all my life with different guys I dated etc. Small thing it would seem but I think she does it to bug me. Plus if I ever even walked into a room with her and one of her boyfriends she would say "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!" So consider me irked.
Hubs has been beaming since then having had his ego stroked. Good for him I guess.
Yeah, Christmas...................Sigh
*wasps, boars, snakes, crocs or whatever describes them best
It seems they have not developed human manners.
I still see some room to continue growing here, though. During a get-together with my cousin, I piped up once with some protest about something she was saying and instantly regretted it because she started yelling at me.
My goal is to NEVER speak up on ANYTHING that could become argumentative. Not even once. Zip it. 🤐 I can speak only in pleasant, generic ways, try to show general sympathy and support and show love to them the best I can, and it's enough. I'm never going to have the respect of the bullies in my family, and that's ok.
That goal may change someday, but it's how I can keep the peace for now. I'd like to see my family in person and not have arguments. Sometimes, it seems impossible. But I can speak in de-escalating tones and words, and for now, that is mostly working. Yay, progress..?
Thanks for letting me get my thoughts down here.
Hope everyone had a nice holiday time if you celebrated. And if it wasn't such a nice time because your family puts the "d" in dysfunction like mine does, then feel free to share because I can definitely commiserate.
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I had some moments of dysfunction with family this year, but overall, it was a good holiday time, and I'm grateful that once-very-difficult relationships are much milder. I will likely always be actively holding my tongue and "making nice" at holidays to keep any friction to a minimum. I'm more than okay with doing that for the rest of my life. I used to take some things personally; I don't anymore. I'm never changing anyone, and if they insist on being unpleasant at times during the ONE time I see them in person each year, that's on them.
I want to do better at holding my tongue COMPLETELY. It's ALWAYS interesting to be around my family for the holidays. 😅