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Hi, Vicky,

Not sure where things are at, but hoping things are going as well as they can.

My mom died in February. When things started going downhill in mid-January I started seeking advice on how things would go "in the end." I was told about the death rattle, that her limbs would start turning blue, etc. Earlier I had been told that her transition would reflect how she was in life (very fearful of God and death).

At the end none of those things happened. Bottom line: try not to worry too much about the details, if you can, and just try and roll with it.

Back to my mom: She went to heaven very peacefully...not at all what I would have expected. I now know what it means to have the honor to be with someone when they die. I felt like I was watching her meet God. No words to describe. Anyway it was an honor for me to be there; I hope you and your dad can experience your mom's transition the same way.
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Update: Thank you all for your prayers and your thoughtful and helpful words! Reading some of your comments has me in tears and I mean that in a positive way.
You know how much I was praying mom would make it through Christmas, but on Tuesday, mom's Hospice nurse told us she was in the dying process now. She said it will be a matter of days. Mom is sleeping most of the time with little or no pain meds. When she does need them, dad is now quick to give them to her. When she is awake, which isn't often these last couple days, she is more in a daze but she will eat a little and drink a little if offered. She doesn't want much though. Her heart rate is getting higher daily and we know that's because her heart is having to work harder because of her body shutting down. She is extremely weak and frail and we know the time is nearing. Her blood pressure is still good as of yesterday and she hasn't developed any blotches on her legs or feet. Her breathing is heavier but no rattle sound as of yet. The nurse told us that not all patients will have these things. Dad's emotions have been all over the place with outburst of cries at any given time. I have been spending the night with him because we don't want him to be alone (and he doesn't want to be there alone when she passes) so when he cries, I cry right along with him. I told him to go ahead and cry all he wants, it's good for him right now.
Dad and I have been talking about Heaven, the streets of gold, the beautiful mansions and mom getting to meet Jesus soon. How happy she will be when she gets her new body with no pain and sickness. These talks seem to help him at the time and they also help me. I heard him tell her this morning to "wait for me in Heaven when you get there". This is such a change for him since last week and now he knows he can't save her anymore and it's in God's hands.
This is such a roller coaster ride that I would never wish on anyone. However, I am so thankful God has given us this extra time with our mom to love on her and tell her how beautiful she is and how much we love her. That my friends, has been priceless these last 4 months for me and my family.
Thank you all again for your concern and prayers! We still need your prayers if you would through these next several days.

Blessings to you all,
Vicky
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Oh Vicky, my heart goes out to you and your dear dad. I know it is so difficult. I am glad you both have faith, that is how I got through with my dad and brothers death. It is wonderful she seems to be at peace with no pain and is sleeping most of the time. What a wonderful and caring daughter you are. I will continue to pray for your dear mom and the rest of you. Hugs to your mom, dad and you.
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Dear Vicky,

I'm echoing what "earlybird" said - I was so glad to read that she is sleeping most of the time with no pain - that in and of itself is a huge blessing! We really can't hope for anything other than that because we know nothing is going to change and become better.

We know their hearing is the last to go, so I hope you are all talking to her just as if she were awake. The day before my dad died, I was reading my favorite bible verses to him about heaven and he made a loud groan (it actually frightened me in a way) and I sang to him on his final day.

Your dad has come a long way from last week and what a touching moment you saw when he told her "wait for me in heaven when you get there." I'm so glad you are spending the night with him so he won't be alone - I know he needs you now more than ever. There's nothing better than to have the family together in those final moments and comforting one another.

Take care of yourselves and may God be with you all -
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(((((((hugs)))))) Vicki
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Vicky, I am so thankful that this journey for your Mom is peaceful, and most of all thankful that your Dad is getting such comfort from their shared faith. You are correct that the blotchy discoloring and cooling in lower extremities means that the end of this passage is coming soon. I am so grateful you are all with her, and she is being kept so comforted and at peace. My very best wishes out to you all.
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Vicky, what a blessing you have to walk with your mother through these last days. I did the same with my dad a few months ago, and though it was so very hard I count it a privilege to have been there. I’m so sorry for you and your dad in this, wishing you both peace and pockets of rest
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Vicky, I am so sorry to see your update on your Mother. It immediately brings back tears and a lump in my throat, after watching my Dear Father pass away. That feeling of suffocating is the worst. I pray for a peaceful passing for your Mother and I'm just not sure what will help your Father. May he find some peace in knowing she is not in pain and will be waiting for him. It really is just heartbreaking to see this. May God be with you, in your time of need.
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