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First, buy heavy duty ear plugs for those days when you need a break from the screaming, wailing coming from your aging loved one during the dreadful sundowning period. After he/she has fallen asleep: Take out the ear plugs and listen to your favorite music (me, I personally like Smooth Jazz), pop open the wine, indulge in some cheese and crackers, settle into a good novel and, most importantly, thank the man/woman above you've survived one more day on the rollercoaster of eldercare. There will be a time after your loved has passed that you'll look back and be so glad you were there for him/her. For now - you'll want to scream and/or cry into a pillow - everyday. Second, if possible, adopt a dog from the local shelter because it will need at least one daily walk which will force you to take a much needed mini-break as it's very easy to forget about taking care of our self while we devote so much of our time to others.Third, take some time to make your Bucket List and review it often to keep your sanity because there will be a time when your caregiving duty will end and you deserve to pursue your dreams. Fourth and final, do what's best for your loved one - but - also be realistic about his/her quality of life because extension of life doesn't always translate into a better quality of life.
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DON'T try to do it by yourself! You'll burnout!
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Remember that you now must wear a suit of armor and your fortitude must match. Somewhere there will be issues that you will need it.
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If an elder says they are not hungry, try eating in front of them to stimulate their appetite. Don't ask, just have the food on the table.
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I think my husband (alz) looks at white food & says he doesnt want it. Just puttinh 2 + 2 togather. I read not to serve their food on white plates.
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Whenever you go out with them take a picture of them so you can identify if they get lost. Also there is a free GPS program (sorry don't have website). I pay Sprint $5.99 a month so I can GPS my husband if he gets lost. He also wears the Medic Alert Bracelet.
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Remember that most of their senses are gone: vision, hearing, olfactory, et al
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I know this is going to sound strange, but replace the white toilet seats with ones of another color, especially if the person has Alzheimer's. Make it easier to find the toilet in the bathroom especially if everything else is white in that room.

Paint the wall behind the toilet red, that also makes it easier for the person to find, plus red is a warm color which gives off the impression that the room is warmer.

Another idea, paint the bathroom door a different color so the person will know which door is the bathroom.
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Break away occasionally, and on a regular basis to prevent burnout.

If you're caring for someone who needs constant attention, there is no question that you will need relief at some point. Just setting aside a few minutes for a walk in the park or a chat with a friend can make a world of difference. "We've found that we can significantly reduce stress by giving the caretakers mini-respites—even 30-minute breaks occasionally," Dr. Mahoney says. Federal legislators have also acknowledged that unpaid caregivers need occasional vacations. In 2006, the Lifespan Respite Care Act was passed to provide relief services for family caregivers. You can find information on respite services available near you by going to the website of the ARCH National Respite Network.
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Ok, you all know that I copied that article, right?
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Maybe we can reach 150?
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Then 200........250........hell lets go for a thousand.
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OK, I am in areement with that, Gershun. Where are the careivers who have put in more time and who have forgotten more tips than I ever knew?

We can get tips on shortcuts, shortbreads, and short cuts to making shortbread.
Tips on surviving the holidays, on how to sneak in a nap or two while caregiving.
And how if one does not drink enough water, all the things that can happen.
There may even be repeat tips, short tips, cleaning up tips, walking tips, and
braise short-ribs tips. There can be favorite tips that another caregiver offered that helped our loved ones, or helped us cope.
What about that, Moecam? Want your thread expanded?
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My friend helped me with an idea. When tipping at a restaurant, just double the tax amount to figure the tip amount.
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Lets continue to help as many as possible - we can whine a bit but really we are all here to get educated a lot - I figure the whining is our safety valve to keep our sanity - the sharing of tips is where we learn enough to short circuit or even avoid a problem in the first place [ some of the time most will work ] -

WHAT TO DO ABOUT NEWS - When my cousin got breast cancer I asked the drs if I should tell mom - I got great advice ... if mom would normally see her & mom would be noticed when L was absent then tell her but otherwise don't -

I follow this advice also with sharing 'good' news like a new baby coming in family but hold back 'bad' news like a death of someone she was close to - when dealing with dementia I have learned that when in doubt always go to the side of kindness because bad news will make them upset & they often won't remember why ... which doesn't help anyone
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A tablespoon of Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar mixed with other foods/drinks every day can help keep the body balanced from the disease. My mom can still swallow pills, I also give her an Oregano pill to prevent sepsis etc.

My favorite quote from Terminator "...It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with..." The takeaway, DON'T ARGUE with them, this is a hard lesson, but I have learned it for sanity sake. As long as they are not hurting themselves etc. try to tolerate it as much as humanly possible. As they get worse, they won't understand you anyway, a complete waste of energy for you to get into it with them, plus it makes you emotionally unbalanced and makes you feel bad. Be like a duck and let it just wash off your back.

Try to get as much sleep as possible, you are going to need it as the disease becomes more difficult. No sleep ----- gives you a heart attack or cancer. Sleep is a healer.
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Another line from Terminator "Pasta la vista Baby!" Sorry, couldn't resist.
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Did autocorrect turn your "hasta" into "pasta," Gershun, or did you do that on purpose??? I'm laughing either way... thanks! ;)
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The term "[Hasta la vista]" is a Spanish farewell that can be literally translated as "Until the (next) sighting" and means "See you later" and "Goodbye". This term, with the added word "baby" - "Hasta la vista, baby" - was used in the popular hit song from 1987, "Looking for a New Love" by Grammy Award winner Jody Watley.[1] It was also used in the 1988 Tone Lōc single "Wild Thing".
Terminator 2: Judgment Day:
"Hasta la vista, baby" became a world-famous catchphrase when it was used in the 1991 film Terminator 2: Judgment Day, which was written by James Cameron and William Wisher Jr. The phrase is featured in an exchange between the film's characters John Connor (Edward Furlong) and The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger):

Me, I like pasta.
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Be sure to read all the prior tips to avoid duplication....
ha ha ha, NOT!

My tip for today is:
Caregiver, Stop for a minute to figure out why you are so angry, so over the top angry about what your loved one with a broken brain did. What exactly did they do wrong, and what were your expectations?
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Have an outside interest. A hobby that you can do even when you only have a few minutes at the end of your day. In other words...do not make car giving you entire existence
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I thought of a good motto and funny...He Hasta eat his Pasta! LOL
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Llamalover made a joke, lol. Tip, always take time to support your caregiving community by laughing at their jokes.

Ha ha ha ha, lol!
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If your loved one wears pull up diapers then tear them down the side to remove easily rather than pulling off their pants first

If you're really clever you can put a fresh pull-up back on without removing their outer pants too
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Send, you wild thing
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No, Ali I really thought it was Pasta la vista.............:P Did I forget to tell you all that I am known for getting quotes, names of things, you name it......I say it wrong. For instance, once Mom and I were out, I was getting peckish, so we stopped for coffee. There is this pastry that I quite like called a copenhagen. I happily marched up to the counter and asked for a davenport. LOL............well, it has some of the same letters right?
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I thought you were making a pun... and I LOVE puns lol! Either way, I laughed at the silliness of it, thank you!

Good night, all.  Many Hugs.
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By bringing something when you visit then your loved one will start to associate you with something positive - my mom loves TIMBITS - I limit her to 2 which I string out timewise - once or twice a month is as much as she gets [diabeteis] -

I change 'the treat' up often - if you take a plant make sure it doesn't need watering more often than you visit - cactus/succulants are best
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Send: (I insert bow)...actually the joke was pretty goofy! One time years ago my late mother tried to say "Kentucky Fried Chicken." "Kenf#### Tied Chicken " came tumbling out of her mouth! We all laughed for days! Those were the good times!
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store all cleansers and dish liquids away from reach or with child proof latches or locks on cabinet door. (my mom poured herself a nice glass of orange dish liquid)
They will not be able to tell toothpaste tube from denture cream/hemoroid cream tube. Will not be able to tell liquid soap from hand lotion.
When they cannot deal with phone calls turn off the ringer.
Go online and pay their bills and go paperless. Call all the magazines and charities to stop the paper billing.
( they were coercing her to think she had to go door to door for them!)
You have heard it before, but soon they wont be able to talk or know who you are..... and all you will wish is to see a smile one last time...
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