I'm a professional caregiver and work with a lot of clients with dementia. Some have been verbally abusive, but I usually can let it roll off or let them know what they said was unkind and they apologize. My current client is mean to all 3 caregivers and he lives with family that won't step in and correct him. Today he called me a name for touching him to assist with transfer. It upsets me because he does this at least once a day about something. He has a short fuse. His family feels that it's all Dementia and I should accept it. They feel it would do no good to ask him to stop. Today I dropped him as a client and the family isn't happy. I understand sometimes Dementia causes behavioral issues, but if the family could ask him to be nice it'd help. Don't you agree?
She also understands that he is not going to change.
We should all be understanding of why she would not want to be constantly treated rudely. Life is too short.
His family will find the right fit.
Honey, let’s be real here, this is dementia.
The issue is likely 50% the family and their reaction and perhaps the caregiver staying on accepting this abuse way too long. And, being real - here's a realty check. Some people with dementia are kind, or at least manageable with supportive families (supporting and appreciating the caregiver). Whether or not a caregiver can work with someone depends on the type of dementia and severity. Caregivers are generally in demand due to the aging population and work for low pay and in often difficulty situations.
You may be a doormat and take abuse, people with self-respect who do not need that job for financial reasons absolutely need to leave. This shows SELF respect. It is up to the family to find caregivers. I believe this person is in the 'right' occupation.
I believe your response has everything to do with your own experience(s) with family and/or caregiving; it has nothing to do with this woman asking the question here.
So, yes, I do agree. Some caregivers need to weigh the income with the client's behavior. I was in this situation for three years - mean, rude, angry, tantrums. Even though this was an aspect of dementia, she DID apologize afterwards. I told her - and I (did) charged her for reserved time, and if I left early due to her outbursts or inappropriate behavior, she would be responsible to pay me for the shift. Financially I could not leave this position, and I loved the work itself (care management, organizational management) and when the client was not activated, she was really 'nice' and we got along very well, especially politically (both very liberal). However, it was a tough three years.
You have to examine you own feelings and decide if finances are involved with your decision making. I believe the client AND the family need to respect their caregivers. Of course, with dementia, we need to accept certain behaviors - and take a break to shift / reset, emotionally and psychologically. It often is NOT an easy job, esp with severe dementia.
I am glad that you dropped him. You deserve to be respected, esp by the family, for what you are doing (very hard work). gena
“I am not quitting. I am just not playing anymore.”
Don’t waste your time doing something that you don’t want to do.
If your heart isn’t in something, perhaps you shouldn’t do it.
You deserve respect from his family.