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Take your vacation. Be sure your father knows what you are doing. I bet he wishes you a great trip.
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Oh thank you all so much. I've talked with my brother and sis in law and they said go as do many of you. I'm 8 hours away from dad as it is, so there's probably no way i could get there in time if they called and said he was dying anyway. I could probably catch a plane from there faster then I could drive from NW Arkansas to NE Texas anyway, so, as things stand now, I'm planning on going to Chicago.

I did buy trip insurance for my train ride, but goofed up on the hotel reservations. I swear it didn't say on booking.com that the hotel couldn't be cancelled until I booked it. I went back and checked so couldn't find it anywhere. So I would lose my portion of the hotel if I didn't take the trip. Bummer... Hopefully though, as many have mentioned, all might go well and dad might very well hang on till well after the trip. He's that ornery sometimes.

I know if I asked dad and he was in his right mind, he'd definitely say to go. He keeps talking about getting better though, so he doesn't know he's in as bad as shape as he really is so I don't want to ask him...

I do very much appreciate all your answers. I've got a week and a day to see how it all goes. I do know that every time the phone rings, I'm expecting bad news...and that's not fun at all. What helps is all of you, and knowing that you're all going through similiar or will be soon enough. Hugs to you all!
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Please go and have a wonderful memory-making trip with your family. Calling your dad with stories of the days will keep you in touch and let him know you are thinking of him and love him. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us!
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We had the same type of situation in my family when my father was ill with non-Hodgkins lymphoma years ago, and we were told that he could die at any time. My brother and his family had planned a three-week trip to Europe when they got the news--something very special for them. My father told them to go; he didn't want them to stay. Believe me, their parting was terribly emotional because they realized they probably wouldn't see each other again. As it so happens, Dad did not want to die when they were overseas; he wanted to spare them that. So he got an extra blood transfusion although he wasn't supposed to have any more; he was a doctor and wrote the order himself. That helped him hold on until my brother and his family returned, and, shortly after they returned, he died. It was love all around and so much sadness too. Sometimes life is SO hard.
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Canary, oh what a hard time that must have been. I'm glad your dad held on for brother though. I hope my dad holds on for me too..

Thanks Rascal12...true that tomorrows are never promised. I will be going...all is planned now. We leave on the afternoon of Nov 2nd and return on the 8th. Just a short trip. Dad's stable for now, so we'll see what happens.
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Home from Vacation and had a great time! Dad was a good fellow and didn't die on me while I was gone. He even seems to be doing a bit better and is looking forward to Thanksgiving at his Assisted Living facility. We still have regular visits from his Hospice nurse, and still have the multiple health issues, any one of which could take him at any time, but he's not ready yet. He's a tough one. You go dad!
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Dustien, I'm glad you were able to take your vacation and return to find Dad still hanging in there. I know it was hard for you. They say caregiving is like having a child to care for all over again, and boy, is that ever true. Just like having a child, if you go on a trip and leave them behind with someone else, all you do is worry about them while you're gone, when you should be enjoying your time away.
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That's great news Dustien! Glad you had a great time and dad is still there for you. What a great blessing and respite! Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving with him. My FIL is on hospice and this will be his last Thanksgiving too. Will be thinking of you and all of us in the same boat.
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Susan, good analogy...dad's just like our child now and we do care and worry about him just as if it were so. Windytown, I'll be thinking of you and your FIL this Thanksgiving. ;-) I do hope this is a wonderful Thanksgiving for all of us caring for our loved ones.
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Dustien Glad you were able to go on your vacation and that father is still here. My father asked me how children do I have? I told him 4, he said no you have 5. I never thought or treated him like he was a child. He passed away Oct 1st. I will always treasure the time I had with him.
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Dustien - enjoy this time with your Dad. Make special memories with him if you can, and if you ever want to record his own memories for later, make sure you do it now, even if it's in bits and pieces when he recalls something and talks about it. I waited too long with my mom, and now she's gone. There are so many things I want to ask her, and can't. This will be our first holidays without her - I'm dreading them.
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I cancelled my Asia trip in April because hospice took over my husbands care and death seemed imminent. Now it's 7 months later and even though I'm glad my husband is better (I think, but that's a whole other story), it has occurred to me that this could go on for years. I want to be there if/when my husband passes but I also know that we can't predict when that will be. I have said what I've needed to say to my husband so many times. He knows how much I love him. He knows what he has meant to me and the difference he has made in my life. He knows how much I'll miss him but that I will be ok. Reading your post has helped me realize how much we need to go on with our lives. Yes, I'm quite sure your father would want you to go and I know my husband wants me to be happy. Give your dad a hug, tell him how much you love him, then go be with that grandbaby. They are what gets us through this.
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Whoops! Guess I'm a little behind!
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I am having the exact same dilemma with my mother. We have an annual ski trip planned that we go on every single year and it is the highlight of our family. Mom is on hospice and not doing great. I will probably decide to stay with her since I am her main person and visit with her every single night. She has dementia pretty badly and would really not understand why am not there. Still I can't help it but to feel really sad and left out.  I've been caring for her for a long time but keep reminding myself that this is the end and there will be other ski trips. If she was in her right mind I am sure she would tell me to go but she is not and lacks that comprehension. So I guess I have come to my decision.
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It is rare that family can be gathered around a deathbed when the end comes. Both of my parents died when no one was there. It's the way I'd rather die, rather being a living demonstration for all. It's the after-death and who is left to have help with grieving that matters. A widowed spouse? Small children? Then someone should be there to hold their hand. It would be far better to have memorial service later when family can schedule a visit. A week or two to help work out finances, clean house or apartment, help a grieving spouse plan what to do next, put flowers on the grave, would be preferable to a quick two day visit when the person dying is not aware of what is happening.
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