Now that my husband has been placed in a facility, new issues arise. Is it to be expected that he would lose his glasses, have on other peoples clothing, shoes, glasses and personal items? He has been there almost two months now and it is a beautiful memory care facility. The staff are very nice, there are many activities, outings and a nice courtyard for walks outside anytime. I feel so fortunate to have gotten him in this facility. However, the issues with missing items is frustrating. For example, this week he had on shoes that were at least two sizes too big, shirts, belts, socks and most items he was wearing were not his. I saw one of his shirts on another person. I mentioned it to another wife and she said don't worry yourself with those things. There are 60 people there and it's hard to keep people from laying things around. She said at least he's fed, clothed and sheltered. Yesterday I collected some of the things and took them to the desk and said these are not his. I made him redress in his own clothes and shoes. But many of his things are not there. He squints and never has glasses even though I had another pair made. So,he has two pair of glasses floating around the place. Sorry to be so long-winded but I'm thinking I might need to chill and just forget it. I'm still trying to recover from the years of caregiving at home. Has anyone else dealt with these issues? Carol
So, to speak and think as if theft "IN ""CARE"" FACILITIES" is to be accepted as normal, as normal as bread and butter and peas in a pod .... you need to think about that.... and a little reminder in case you've all lost your way .... theft is illegal. I will repeat, theft no matter your situation, is (not only morally wrong) it's illegal. (and no I am not speaking of missing items that come up mixed in with daily confusion of several memory loss individuals living under one roof)... I am speaking of theft. Someone is not taking the time and effort to stop and change care facilities wrongs.
But at what point, between thinking he could probably just about get away with it and arriving at the ER, could the poor old boy possibly have confessed what the real trouble was?
This is what all of you 70+ year old's have to look forward to:
This is something that happened in an Aged Care Center.
The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.
One morning, one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my friend went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK.
She could hear him through the door. He said that he was running late, and would be down shortly, so she went back to the Dining area.
An hour later, he still hadn't arrived; so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs.
He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right.
She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain, and just wanted to have his breakfast.
So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast
When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him.
A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing.
The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts.
Commercial laundries seem to manage to (mostly) return the items to the rightful owners.
As a student nurse in the good old days when we all wore uniform dresses and aprons these were stamped with a number and we placed them in our own laundry boxes and they were returned the same way. Nothing was ever lost.
At night if residents leave their shoes, sweaters etc in the tv room then caregivers don't pick them up and return them they clock out and leave - if I recognize the person's belongings then I'll at least put it in front of their door
I try to organize mom's tiny half length closet in the same manner with tops matched to pants but invariably someone will put her in her favorite pink top with orange striped pants instead of her pink French Terry ones - she looks like a crazy old lady especially if she is wearing her favorite blue sweater and not the beige one
Last year when she had a nasty cold and cough I asked them to keep her back and chest warm by wearing an undershirt and vest - I found her with a bed pad tucked into her shirt instead
And if a facility sees nothing wrong in dressing residents in poorly fitting items that have them looking like the homeless wouldn't it be simpler to just supply the same generic clothes for everyone? (I'm being sarcastic... can't you just picture it though?)
Though they do sometimes fall out, too. They kind of work their way along the eyelets and eventually drop off.
H*ll, yes! I mean, yes, I have too, and it's upsetting. In a short time, almost ALL of my mom's nice clothes went missing and were replaced by with staff with leftovers they keep when a resident dies and the family doesn't want the clothes back. Those clothes are a mess, they're old, scratchy, they belonged to men, they're the wrong size, etc.
My mother had breast cancer and a breast removed in 1985. She did not opt for reconstruction. The scar is sensitive. Due to her Alzheimer's, she has become unwilling to wear her adaptive bra. I need for her to wear something soft next to her skin. So I replaced her clothes with cheap 100% cotton items from WalMart which I wash myself and rinse with Downy. However, even those go missing because the staff is careless and frankly, it gets expensive!
This is what people don't understand when they think losing clothes is minor. There are real people and reals stories behind this. Our parents are brave and kind. They're suffering. So are we. It hurts to see them thrown together like a homeless person, or with urine stains on their clothes. Often, our feelings are minimized.
Glasses and dentures get lost. That's extremely serious. When my mom's dentures went missing, and they didn't take it seriously, the added pressure on her remaining teeth cause her to loose 5 of them. That affected her comfort, confidence, ability to eat...and it matters just as much as it would matter if it happened to ne of us! Sigh. I could go on, but I'll stop and simply say, you're not over-reacting and you're not alone.
to deter crime in an area which is known to be closely monitored
to prosecute offenders
to cover the backsides of those who are supposed to be policing an area.
Except for c), which still doesn't help the residents, apart from (you'd have thought) cutting down on outright theft, none of this improves practice in memory care.
The solution, all sarcasm and flippancy aside, is high staff : resident ratios, together with a management style that enables calm, continuous interaction between residents and caregivers so that there are very few occasions when residents interact without an intermediary. There are places - specialised facilities that are usually centres of excellence for training and research as well - where this is done. They are extremely expensive to run, with multiple funding streams including academia and charitable organisations as well as government departments and the residents themselves; and their staff are treated as professionals following a vocation, rather than some hybrid of waiters and gaolers who are only there to collect their minimum wage and because they can't get anything better.
Ultimately, the solution is improvement in the status of the care profession feeding into higher levels of ability and commitment from people entering it. It's a virtuous circle that has been achieved to varying degrees in nursing and teaching, for example. It takes decades, not to say centuries; but without it the only answer is quantities of money that no one will ever agree to.
I would imagine that it is difficult to prevent all physical contact between the residents in a Memory Care facility. Even with constant direct supervision, that might not be possible. I would keep notes and ensure that it's not a continuing problem, since some residents may be better suited in a hospital or other controlled setting rather than Memory Care.