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I understand. Similar for my widowed mother.
First I suggest you do not show up every Saturday. Every other is fine.
If she needs house repair done, call a repairman for her- you said she can afford it.

Yes she wants a replacement partner in you and you are her child not her spouse.
opinionated and argumentative i have that with mine also. Had to stop calling as often and cut back on visits. That is your power- don't go over so much.
Know that her personality is a taker not a giver and do not feel guilty for not being here so much.
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I think that the feeling of being expected to do everything places enormous stress on the caregiver. That stress keeps building up. I would be honest with your mom about how you feel.

If she tries to make you feel badly tell her that you have no reason to assume any guilt because you aren’t doing anything wrong. Tell her that you know the difference between right and wrong.

You can help her to help herself, so you can have more free time for your own needs.

All the best.
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Imho, you are going to have to set boundaries, e.g. "mom, I can only come one Saturday a month."
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Girlfriend, I dont know why you bother. She probably enjoys your society as much as you enjoy hers. She likes feeling in control though. Cone once a month a do the lightbulbs and such. She made her own bed, let her lie in it.
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Have you tried just backing off? Like scheduling some things YOU need to/want to do on Saturday? You could talk to her about your feelings, but I suspect she does not do "feelings". So I would recommend just starting to miss Saturdays from time to time.
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its okay to vent. why not sometime during the early week, call and let her know that you CANNOT come over that Saturday as other plans have come up that you need to tend to. I don't know where you are, but not too many places (vets) have Sunday hours unless an emergency, the same as plumbers, etc. And why can't some of the "other family" that she wants to visit.....why don't they come see her. It would give her a chance to "have them for dinner" and might make her happy. No body says you HAVE to take care of your mother. IF you find it overwhelming now, it will only get more serious later. so you better have a discussion with other siblings to let them know that you cannot/will not be handling the situation as it progresses with her health, etc. Without know how far the other siblings are, they could make a "weekend" of it by visiting her 1 time a month, she can cook her hearts desire and have plenty of company. Maybe she can join some kind of social club where seniors get together, that would be close enough for her to drive to. or take a community bus to go where she needs to go. some places have them. how about a church member (if she belongs, sometimes they have people that will be glad to take them places). I wish you luck.......but IF you don't think you can handle things to come down the road.......make the siblings aware now and put your foot down that you will NOT be the one handling everything. YOUR health is important, because IF you would get down and out/who is going to step up into your place? I wish you luck.
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My god, from what you have said above, you have said it all but YOU don't see the facts as they are. She doesn't care and is not interested in you and what is important to you. You are the least favorite. She is demanding and is trying to control YOU. And worst, you are being horribly harmed mentally and physically. Why? What did you do to deserve the treatment from her. Stop at once. Tell her you will visit ONE A MONTH and immediately start taking care of you and what means something to you. You will never receive appreciation and kindness from her - so why should you care? Because she is your mother? No, she has to deserve love and kindness and respect. She is not giving that to you so why do you feel obligated to her. Smarten up - step back and take care of yourself first. You are feeling NORMAL feelings.
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