Hi, I live in another state and my older brother (64) lives with my Mom who is 89. He yells at her, belittles her, won't drive her to where she needs to go, etc.
My Mom won't do anything and I am scared to report my brother as I don't want to add more stress to my Mother as she is constantly stressed because of my brother. I suggested that my Mom sell her house but she is not ready to do that. Then it has been talked about me moving in with her and when my brother heard that he had a fit and screamed at my mother. I don't know what do to. Thanks, Jenna
I would call them back and clarify this - it doesn't sound right from what I've read here as well as from personal experience.
I also suggested that she sell her house and move where I am (there are great senior living centers near me) so I can take care of her and spend quality time with her. She goes back and forth with that question. She once said to me she wants to die in her home.
So I am at a loss. I feel helpless that I can't help my Mom. A couple of years ago I did call up Adult Protective Services after my brother attacked my Mom verbally where my Mom was really shook up. They told me that my Mom had to call about my brother, not me which she would never do.
It is very, very sad. My brother has 3 adult children (who have nothing to do with him as they are close to their mother - my brother's ex) and he should go live with one of them.
Anyway, he yells at my Mom most of the time (not just when I am talking with her on the phone). I believe years ago he stole money from her as well. He is definitely not a caregiver because he doesn't help her at all. Just last week my Mom called me and told me she had pain in her head and asked my brother to take her to the ER and he refused. I called up 911 to have an ambulance take her as I got scared that she was having a stroke. She refused to go and I found a neurologist near her and she went to that app't. Anyway, doctor thinks it's all stress related and I know where the stress is coming from.
My Mom hides in her bedroom to avoid my brother and only comes out when she feels it's safe. There are many times I hear the stress in her voice and I ask her if my brother started yelling at her again as she is afraid to tell me.
I really don't want to move there as I know my brother is capable of physical violence (he has attacked me in the past) and I don't want to live in a stress-filled environment. I help my Mom a lot from where I live finding her doctors, ordering her movies she wants, etc. Little things but it means a lot to her.