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Hi everyone, I am trying to find a good solution for my mom's (80 years old) troubles with her C-PAP machine. She has been using one for many years, but over the past couple of years we have struggled to keep her on track with it. Unfortunately, she now usually takes it off within the first few hours of sleep. She usually goes to bed around 10pm. In the mornings, at one point, I noticed she was logging only 1-2 hours on the machine. So, I have been setting my alarm for 2-3 in the morning and putting it back on. She lives with my family, so our room is right down the hall. She will usually keep it on from there for a 2-3 more hours, usually totally 5-6 hours per night. My issue is I am not getting a lot of sleep. Sometimes, when I get up, I am up for the day, which can be miserable. She is side sleeper and can't tolerate the nose masks, so I am not sure if anyone has similar experiences. I read putting her bed up at angle might help? Any thoughts would be awesome!
Dave



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I would leave your mother alone to live her life as she sees fit, at 80 years old. Let her sleep in peace and stop setting alarms to interrupt YOUR sleep to put HER mask back on!

Thats my 2 cents on the subject.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Dave472 39 min ago
I have to say your take on it makes a lot of sense. Her primary care puts a lot of pressure on us to keep using it, but I honestly think a big part of why my mom takes it off is she simply doesn't want to wear it period and doesn't care anymore what the doctor says about it.

That said, it is good hear all this advice. When it comes to caregiving, it can feel like you are in a bubble sometimes. I have no brothers or sisters and my dad has long since passed, so I am doing the best I can. Other than the C-PAP, my mom is pretty easy going otherwise. I think it might be time to just tell the Doc the C-cpap treatment is done and lets move on.

On the question about the insurance, she has been able to average about 4 hours per night with me going in and putting the mask back on. So, I think it would be covered. But, I am starting to wonder what the point of doing it is at this point in time.

I will definately check back in with updates.
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My dad was given a C-pap after a sleep study strongly indicated his need for one. He tried it for a long time, went through many types of masks and fittings, had issues with all of them. It was a constant frustration. He finally boxed up all of it and took it back, telling the doctor the whole thing “was messing up the plan to die in my sleep” He never used one again and died peacefully about 10 years later, completely unrelated to sleep apnea. Maybe consider if this is the kind solution for your mother as well, she will be peaceful and you’ll get much needed sleep
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Dave472 35 min ago
I think she is in the same place your dad was in. I believe she puts it on at night to humor me, but doesn't really take it seriously anymore. But, the Doc is so insistant, I have kept trying. This discussion makes me feel a lot better about potentially packing this machine up and moving on if that is my moms final decision on it. I am going to have a heart to heart talk with her about it and let her know I will not be upset at her if she decides to go that route.
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She says sometimes she just wakes up and it is off. Othertimes, she says she wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and she can't fall a sleep with it on again. She has always hated wearing one and hates the mask on her face.

She told me the other day she is 80 years old and would like to advise her Doctor that she is not wearing one anymore, as she is already very old and wants to enjoy sleeping like she used to for whatever time she has left. But, she soldiers on with it on at my resquest.

Thanks for all the advise. We have a meeting with her CPAP doc in a few months. It was a 7 month wait to get in, so we have been waiting a long time. As a side note, her equipment has to be about 7-8 years old. Resmed unit.
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lkdrymom 1 hour ago
Just a FYI if the doctor does get her a new upgraded model...insurance won't pay for it unless she proves she is using it. They are $1500. My insurance gave me grief saying I already had one....I pointed out it was 10 years ago and how long did they think these things would last.
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I have the latest and greatest CPAP and there are some days where I just can't stand to wear it. If I am the least bit congested, I will not fall asleep on it. I hate anything touching my face and my nose gets constantly itchy while wearing it. Lately I have been going to bed without it but when I wake up in the middle of the night, I put it on because I am already very sleepy, so I don't seem to have the same trouble falling asleep with it on.
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Have you checked on the very latest in equipment; I have heard (tho never seen) that they are so much better now.
I would discuss this with her MD.
At some point she may be unwilling or unable to tolerate it. You need to ask the doctor what the option are then, other than letting nature take its course. There is little you can do when this happens in my experience as a nurse, but you need to be certain all options are explored.

Make an appointment with her specialist ASAP and do update us. I wish you best of luck.
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Have you asked her why she is taking it off? Does she feel like she isn't getting enough air? Or too much? Or it is sweaty and she can't keep the mask on correctly? This is important info you need to post here.

Or, does she have cognitive issues and isn't really aware that she is taking it off in her sleep, or can't express what is going on with her cpap use?

I've been using one for years (I'm 65 now). I sleep in every position with no problem (I use a ResMed unit with a Dreamware mask (and cloth inserts). I also have a cloth sleeve on the tube to prevent condensation. I break down the unit every morning to allow it to air dry after it has cycled through its intenal blowing/drying. I wash the mask after every use with mild unscented soap (like Dove unscented). I never wash or sterilize the tube and have never had a problem with bacteria growth in it. I always use lip balm before putting the mask on (Aquaphor works great). There is also a filter in the side of the base unit that needs to be changed regularly.

When was the last time she took her unit in and they tested the pressure on her and analyzed the data? My pressure had to be adjusted (she can be getting too little or too much). Or got a new base unit? I get a new headset/mask/tube every 6 months.

More info would be helpful. Once the mystery of *why* she's taking it off is solved then you can get the rest you need. If your Mom has cognitive issues I think at 80 the use of a CPAP is no longer very beneficial for her. I've been trying to get my Mom to get checked for a long time (she has been a snorer her whole life). Now she's 95 and it no longer matters, plus she won't/can't do it. You will need to pick your battles if your Mom has cognitive issues. It's more important that you get your proper rest.
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casole 5 hours ago
My mom is 80 and I suspect sleep apnea in her as well. She has an appt with a pulmonoglist in Dec for breathing issues and while I will mention it and possibilty of home testing at this point it's all been so much I don't know that she would ever agree to ever use a CPAP. Obviously up to her, perhaps if it's presented as a solution or improvement to the shortness of breath...

My husband at 61 uses his faithfully as do you Geaton. And we both sleep now 😂. We'll unless I'm worrying about mom 😉

For Dave... I wouldn't sacrifice my own sleep, I think this will just condition her to take it off. Have you asked her if she realizes she's taking it off?
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