I am taking care of my father who has Major Depressive Disorder with Anxiety and OCD.
He also has type 2 diabetes which is uncontrolled and he may be insulin resistant.
My father needs some one to watch him on a daily/nightly basis. He is prone to falling due to severe nueropathy in both legs and feet.
During his last visit with his PCP, she said she would write a letter stating that my father needs a live-in caregiver.
I want to take the position of being my father's caregiver...who knows him better than me.
The problem is, my father lives in a 55 and older trailor park. He owns his two bedroom, two bathroom home, but rents the land to the land owner. After talking with the land owner (without the letter from the doctor), I explained what was going on with my father and that he needs a caregiver, live-in, and I would like to move into my father's home (just me, I'm not married or have any children), and take care of my father.
The land owner rejected my request and stated that he is afraid that other residents of the park may move out because I'm only 26 y/o.
But, the land owner does not know that other people that are not 55 are living in the park with out his knowledge.
My question is, once I have the doctors letter, can the land owner override a doctors request for my dad to have a caregiver?
Any information is welcomed. Thank you.
My concern is that you are not being fair to yourself. There may be some benefit to you, in the short term, to live with your father and reduce your expenses, as well as helping someone you care for, But, in the long term you may find it is taking too much of your life. Now you can work. Likely, eventually, he will need 24/7 care. What then? You still need an income and the benefits that go with it.
But, I would be glad that I was able to spend that amount of time with my father.
Please remember, I lived in CT where my father lives in FL. I would hardly never see him esp. when I start my career.
The general, though gentle consensus seems to be that no, you shouldn't. Well, first of all please let me say that it is not my call, nor anybody's, as to what you should or shouldn't do with your life. You're an adult and fully qualified to make your own decisions and live with the consequences. Having said that, however, I would like to say that I find your dedication to your father both admirable and commendable, and I think he is beyond blessed to have a son like you. You and he must have an amazing relationship, for you to want to commit yourself to his care in this way, and for that you are both indeed fortunate.
I have no doubt that you will follow your heart in doing what you feel is right by your Dad, and count not the cost. It is my prayer that all obstacles may be removed and you may get about the process of caring for your Dad in a quick and timely manner if you have not already done so. God bless you both!
There is nothing in my way of starting my life here.
Some time in the long future, I hope, he may start to need help. And at that time, if I need assisants, I can get it then.
But for now, he cooks, cleans, does the laundry, bathes himself and gets dressed by himself.
I want to get involved with his doctors, medications and what they are for etc. before he really needs help and I have to start from scratch.
2 concerns
1) A pattern we see here is people who take on care giving a parent they have been distant from, and with whom they now hope to finally establish a good and close relationship. In the greatest number of instances it doesn't work. There are reasons why parent and child are not close and those reasons still exist and make forming a close relationship extremely difficult at this stage.
2) the stress/effort of care giving increase in an insidious way, so that c/gs find them selves overwhelmed and not knowing how to better,the situation and. the senior resists changes which leads to conflict. You say you will know what will be the best thing for your father and I am not doubting that. But he may not agree with you. At the same time will you know what is best for you? Just some things to think about.
That being said, I wish you and your father all the best in the coming years. He is very fortunate to have a son who cares so much for him.
You are very correct about the stress issue. And at some point in time, I may need help. At that point I can get assistance through his health insurance company.
The park's main concern is that you not having wild parties on the premises and disturbing the other residents.
You’ll need the letter from his doc. The manager may likely not know about this law. Your local Legal Aid should be able to make a call to straighten out the confusion (they are free and exist in most communities/counties.). They can also help with the wording in the letter from the doc. There are plentiful Senior Housing legal guides published on the internet.
Best of luck. (:
My father wrote a letter attached the doctors note and mailed it to the land owner. We haven't heard anything yet, so we are going about our business.
My father is also in the law field. He is a Paralegal, registered with Connecticut department of legal affairs.
He moved to Florida three years ago and does not know much about the law down here, but he is eager to learn. Knowing what's legal and what isn't has always been a passion of his.
If you don't mind, maybe I can let him read your responce and ask a question or two.
Enjoy your evening and thanks again.
Check this out for more information:
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/are-we-being-discriminated-against-if-we-cant-buy-home-senior-community.html
As long as you don’t violate the norms of the community, and your behavior is respectful and consistent with reasonable expectations for a 55+ community, there may not be any problems. Make sure your dad pays his rent on time. Be discreet and be thoughtful to the neighbors. Let your Dad pick up the mail and present yourself as “visiting.”
If there ever becomes an issue, you will have plenty of time to move because the laws of eviction are very expensive and time-consuming to enforce and generally favorable to the tenant.