I am taking care of my father who has Major Depressive Disorder with Anxiety and OCD.
He also has type 2 diabetes which is uncontrolled and he may be insulin resistant.
My father needs some one to watch him on a daily/nightly basis. He is prone to falling due to severe nueropathy in both legs and feet.
During his last visit with his PCP, she said she would write a letter stating that my father needs a live-in caregiver.
I want to take the position of being my father's caregiver...who knows him better than me.
The problem is, my father lives in a 55 and older trailor park. He owns his two bedroom, two bathroom home, but rents the land to the land owner. After talking with the land owner (without the letter from the doctor), I explained what was going on with my father and that he needs a caregiver, live-in, and I would like to move into my father's home (just me, I'm not married or have any children), and take care of my father.
The land owner rejected my request and stated that he is afraid that other residents of the park may move out because I'm only 26 y/o.
But, the land owner does not know that other people that are not 55 are living in the park with out his knowledge.
My question is, once I have the doctors letter, can the land owner override a doctors request for my dad to have a caregiver?
Any information is welcomed. Thank you.
If he is newly diagnosed he could use education on diabetes.
At 50 he should be taking care of his own blood sugar. If he needs to do a finger stick 4x a day. Is he able to self admin his insulin? (ooops just read you live in CT).
There are new devices for brittle diabetics - Continuous Glucose Monitors, Insulin Pumps - available for those who must check BS several times a day.
But first get him to a nutritionist who specializes in Diabetes diet so he can learn to make the proper choices.
I am currenty staying with him in Florida. And can atest his monitoring of diabetes on a daily basis.
He is educated on what to eat and what not to eat.
His PCP ordered a CGM for him, but was not covered by his health plan. His doctor needs to find one tgat is covered because as it is, my father is a pin cushion, testing four times a day and giving insulin four times a day.
How did he come to live in a senior park?
Are you sure you want to fight this? Do you have a legal leg to stand on?
But, my exgrandmother has her 51 year old living with her as her caregiver.
Tothill brings up a very valid observation. Your father has a lot of serious medical issues, and while, to your credit, you did remain calm during this latest episode, with your father’s issues, I’m afraid these episodes may become more and more frequent. And, I’d be concerned about his care from his doctor. During this latest episode, it sounds like his doctor was clueless. If you are going to be your father’s sole caregiver, you need a medical support system you can count on.
Also, consider that you will be putting your life on hold for an unpredictable number of years to care for him. If you have no job skills now, it will be very difficult to obtain them if you are in your thirties or forties. In addition, if you don’t have any income for your caregiving years, you probably won’t be able to afford schooling to obtain a good paying job. You will have no health insurance and no retirement fund. You also will probably have no social life. These are all things to consider before you make the “Noble Promise” to care for your father.
As he is still coherant now, he does not want to live in assisted living nor have a stranger move in with him or come only a few days a week to help him.
I live in CT, and my father lives in FL, I can not care for my father being so far away.
We have talked so much on this issue. I could find a job at night, when he is sleeping and be home when he is a wake.
My father also told me that if the park owner won't let me live here as my fathers caregiver, then the landowner will loose an excellent tenant. And we would move some where were I can be his caregiver.
There is something called a Brittle diabetic. This means that the diabetes is very hard to control. Hopefully, you have talked about this "fluke" with Dads doctor.
My father is only 50 years old, and is too young for a nursing home.
I don't want some one else caring for my father and he would feel much more at ease with me living here.
As an update: a few days ago, my father didn't look to good and was slurring his words. I checked hid blood gluclose level and it was 470. I rechecked it, it was 465. I kept calm and called his PCP. His doctor told me to give him an extra 'large' insulin shot and see how it is in a half hour. When I hung up the phone, I looked at my father and he was slooped over, barely sitting on the couch. His eyes were shut. I shook him to wake him up and he was incoherant.
I called 911. Gave my father the insulin shot requested by his doctor. Tge paramedics checked his blood gluclose again and it was almost 500. He was taken to the hospital were he was still incoherant, he didn't know where he was or what was going on.
After another large insulin shot, IV fluids and 6 hours later my father was a little more coherant. The ER doctor said it was a "fluke" that this happened. He could not give any other reason.
I explained to my father what happened and he had no recollection of any thing that happened.
So, if I wasn't there, my father would most likely not be a live.
I don't know what to do.
If there are other under 55 living in the park currently, I would encourage you to document them. If it comes to it, you might be able to use selective enforcement as a defense against eviction.
Although your father does have the option of moving his home, this might be considered an undue burden since it would cost at least $20,000. You might consider getting an estimate to have if you ever need to defend yourself and your father from eviction.
The land owner is not overriding the doctor. Your Dad has other options, he can sell move into an assisted living building, move in with you etc.
Also at 26 think long and hard and read various posts here on how challenging it is to care for someone 24/7.