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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Feb 2018 my 90 year old mom was admitted to hospital and immediately diagnosed with a type of age related bone cancer - they kept asking about history of cancer in the family - we have none I said - they refused to listen. Bone marrow biopsy done - won’t show me results - just kept saying cancer and talking low dose chemo - at 90 and with no history of cancer in the family?! NO. We went for second opinion to Fox Chase Cancer Center - we were told it might be but because mom only had a low blood count and about 50% abnormal cell growth that they wanted to monitor her every 2 months. Blood test and doctor visit every 2 months. SUPER HAPPY to report that as of last visit a few weeks ago the oncologist said « you blood levels are up, you show no other symptomology, abnormal cell growth happens as we get in to the advanced stages of aging and it is nothing to worry about - NO CANCER - come back in 6 months just as a precaution. PLEASE GET A SECOND OPINION!
I like Shakings idea. But agree with Pepsee. Your parent has ALZ/Dementia. They will not understand what is going on. Maybe not make their needs known. Going under could make the Dementia worse. Its really not fair putting them through a treatment. They can't follow directions. 90 is a long time to live. My decision would be to get Hospice in so my LO was kept comfortable. My Mom didn't like to be touched and poked and prodded.
Two weeks before my mother's 82nd birthday, she received a diagnosis of lung cancer. She had no symptoms then. It had been found on a chest x-ray during an ER visit for a minor, unrelated need. My mother said, "Thanks for the info," and got the heck up out of there. She wanted no parts of "the poison they're selling."
Within a month, a close friend of my mother's was diagnosed with brain cancer. Her friend took the opposite course from my mother's. Surgery, radiation, multiple rounds of chemotherapy.
A year and a half later, my mother and her dear friend flew away within six weeks of each other.
My mother's friend spent the last eighteen months of her life tethered to a cancer center that was a 45 minute drive away from home. She was constantly either in the hospital or making 4 to 6 trips per week to the center for "treatment". Her 85 year old husband barely survived the experience himself.
On the other hand, my mother had over a year of being healthy enough to come and go as she pleased, to enjoy doing the things she loved most to do before she became tenuously ill. Only the last few months of her life were marked by fatigue, shortness of breath, and pain. By then, she was on hospice care. Her symptoms were difficult but manageable. She died as she had wished, at home with my father, my brother and me at her side.
I can't tell you what's right for you and your family. I can tell you I have never been so relieved or so proud as I was the day my mother said, "Thanks for the info." and got away from doctors and cancer treatment as fast as she could run. You already know in your heart what is right; don't be afraid to listen.
What Pepsee said - if he is not in pain, let it be.
BUT, what does your father want to do? I ask that because when my DH had a cancer scare at 90, he wanted treatments if needed. Thankfully, it was not cancer. We pretty much stopped having him checked for cancers after that. Since he went through Chemo at age 80 for Colon Cancer, I didn't want him to have to do that ever again.
He continued to see the dermatologist twice a year for the pre-cancerous age spots. Those were frozen off.
You'll have to pretty much follow your father's wishes re: treatment. Why not look online for alternative measures? You can google it and today I would use that if I was ever diagnosed with cancer. I don't believe Chemo is the way to go personally, I really do think most of us are over-medicated.
I have no medical advice I only have the knowledge of what I would do if the same were to happen to my grandmother. I don’t know the condition overall of your father perfectly healthy other than the pains of age or otherwise. But if my 91 yr old grandmother were to be diagnosed with cancer I wouldn’t tell her. I wouldn’t treat it, no surgery, no chemo, no radiation. At that age haven’t then been through enough? I think you have to ask yourself are the side effects worth the very minimal gain, if any, on living longer? My grandmother was mysteriously bleeding off and or from the nether regions and I made the choice not to explore for possible explanations. Would having a colonoscopy at her age do her more harm? Does your father need to carry the burden of knowing he has cancer? Would his body even be strong enough for treatment? What would you want for yourself? I’m sorry I seem to be asking more questions than giving my personal advice. This is my take on cancer at the age of 90.
I just saw my 69 year old sister-in-law go through so much suffering and pain with her treatments because the docs thought they could cure her. Get second opinion. Become educated about the cancer. Talk to the pallitive care part of the team and ask for honest assessment. Quality of his days vs quantity of days.
My mother (87 years) was diagnosed with blood cancer last year. She went through quemotherapy for 6 months and the side effects were just horrible for her. She became very weak while she was in therapy, plus she got depressed, her memory issues got a lot worse. I realized later it was not the best decition, I wish someone have given me another point of view and suggested me a more gentle kind of treatment. More important than having the cure of her illness, now I´m focused on giving her the best quality of life she can have. Good luck
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
GF is 90. If he's in no pain, I'd leave it alone. I've seen many seniors die from the treatments, before the cancer itself killed them.
The treatments can be so horrible for them. They can spend the last parts of their lives suffering. And to what end?
I don't think it's worth it. If he's not in pain, let him be. If he is in pain, treat only the pain.
That's what I would do, regardless of the type or location of it.
Best of luck, just enjoy him.
Within a month, a close friend of my mother's was diagnosed with brain cancer. Her friend took the opposite course from my mother's. Surgery, radiation, multiple rounds of chemotherapy.
A year and a half later, my mother and her dear friend flew away within six weeks of each other.
My mother's friend spent the last eighteen months of her life tethered to a cancer center that was a 45 minute drive away from home. She was constantly either in the hospital or making 4 to 6 trips per week to the center for "treatment". Her 85 year old husband barely survived the experience himself.
On the other hand, my mother had over a year of being healthy enough to come and go as she pleased, to enjoy doing the things she loved most to do before she became tenuously ill. Only the last few months of her life were marked by fatigue, shortness of breath, and pain. By then, she was on hospice care. Her symptoms were difficult but manageable. She died as she had wished, at home with my father, my brother and me at her side.
I can't tell you what's right for you and your family. I can tell you I have never been so relieved or so proud as I was the day my mother said, "Thanks for the info." and got away from doctors and cancer treatment as fast as she could run. You already know in your heart what is right; don't be afraid to listen.
BUT, what does your father want to do? I ask that because when my DH had a cancer scare at 90, he wanted treatments if needed. Thankfully, it was not cancer. We pretty much stopped having him checked for cancers after that. Since he went through Chemo at age 80 for Colon Cancer, I didn't want him to have to do that ever again.
He continued to see the dermatologist twice a year for the pre-cancerous age spots. Those were frozen off.
You'll have to pretty much follow your father's wishes re: treatment. Why not look online for alternative measures? You can google it and today I would use that if I was ever diagnosed with cancer. I don't believe Chemo is the way to go personally, I really do think most of us are over-medicated.
Has it been staged?
Does dad have any cognitive impairments?
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