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She needs 24/7 care.

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Loved one may want to spend her final year, with someone she probably holds dear.
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Coleyne, have the cousin spend every waking moment with your Mom at the nursing home to see exactly what type of care your Mom needs. And if the nursing home is ok with this, sleep over in the same room so she can help Mom during the night hours.

Bet that would be a huge eye opener to the cousin.
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Does the cousin know this? Or is it something your Mom has thought up. If the cousin is on board, does she realize what is involved in caring for a Dementia patient? That she needs 24/7 care. That cousin will not be able to get Mom any services because she has not established residency. How old is cousin? If Moms age then she is not aware of what caregiving entails. And probably unaware of how Mom is.

If Mom is in LTC, then that is where she needs to stay.
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worriedinCali Apr 2019
California actually considers you a resident on day one. She could come here tomorrow and she would considered a resident. So there’s really nothing to establish, she just needs to get to CA. I don’t really agree with that myself as I don’t think people who’ve never paid CA state taxes should be able to come here and get government assistance right away.
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Its a really bad idea. How is your loved one paying for LTC? If she’s on Medicaid, it does not cross state lines. She would need to move to California and be without insurance while she applies for medi-cal.
How old is her cousin? Is her cousin able and willing to provide 24/7 care? Because if your LO cannot afford it and doesn’t have insurance to pay for 24/7 homecare, the state of California isn’t going to pay for it either. They’ll pay for maybe 8 hours a day of homecare, leaving the cousin to provide 16 hours of care per day. Have you spoken to the cousin? Does the cousin have any idea what she is getting herself in to by bringing in someone who requires 24/7 care?
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You need to tell us more about your confusion, if you want helpful comments.
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Coleyne Apr 2019
Hi, more details on my situation are, it’s very agonizing and I believe in keeping you’re parent at home if possible. That being said, when it became clear that our loved one needed 24/7 care and supervision, and had full Medicare to pay for that, we really thought it was the best thing for her to stay at her facility after recooperating from cancer surgery. My husband and I were emotionally and physically exhausted, and they were professionals.We have also slowed down a bit too lately, so even though it seems out of the question, I still feel guilty not trying to have alternating caregivers at my home 24/7. Her dementia and hygiene were also becoming a lot worse. Now, her cousin is visiting
for a few days from California, and has listened to how horrible and depressing her life is now and how she can’t believe we put her there. We’ve had long conversations with her cousin, so my question is, if they do decide to relocate her, should we just hope and pray for the best, or step in more forcefully, I just don’t know.
She may be happier living with her cousin and visa Versace regardless.
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