Mom is an alcoholic and has taken prescription Benzos for decades. Benzos are known to cause balance/fall issues. She takes them daily and is physically dependent upon them. She lives alone down the street from me. I have witnessed self-destructive/careless behavior from her since she was in her late 60s, which is around the time her strange falls began. The first serious fall was in 2010-2011 when she broke her hand severely, and then refused the surgeon's physical therapy because she said she was old and "would not live much longer" (she was only 68-69). As a result her hand is now minimally functional. Last year she had a broken shoulder, broken part of spine, and two weeks ago she took two more serious falls and thinks we now need to go back to the spinal doctor. Her knees are often swollen and bruised, her arms are often bruised and there have been two black eyes.
Because of her behaviors over the last decade, I cannot/will not live with her. My husband says he will move out if I move her in (I have a very happy marriage that I will NOT sacrifice). It seemed ideal to have her living down the street and I would be able to watch over her. She is a hermit, no friends and there are no other relatives (I am an only child). I am 52 and still work more than full-time. She refuses to discuss any other living arrangements for her. We live in the Orlando, FL area where there are quite a few senior-type apartments, but she will not hear of it. I believe she belongs in assisted living, but any mention of that to her results in a threat to commit suicide. I feel she is making her own decisions and she has the ability to damage my life, so I keep her at arms-length. Any advice from the Forum???
2) even if she refuses to buy alcohol, mom can still get it!
3) OP says "...They have sent her home with transport..."
4) OP said: "...the hospital forced me to take her home while she was still drunk & beligerent..."
It isn't that simple to just leave someone at the hospital and refuse to let them go home. Clearly the hospital sent her home. As long as she is deemed competent, she CAN demand to be sent home. The only think OP can do is not let them deliver mom to her (OP's) address!
As for the booze - if they *really* want it, they WILL get it. My grandmother loved her wine (a tad too much - she didn't know when to say when!) When she still lived in her own house, but couldn't drive, she hired a taxi to go pick it up for her. Where there's a will, there's a way...
https://www.agingcare.com/topics/189/alcohol-abuse
But I don't see what you can do about it. Except - try not to lose sight of how sad it is. Because this is so incredibly stressful for you, and because your mother is the agent who has made it all happen, it would be very easy to forget that she is the one in pain.
I hope the various health care organisations are not continuing to pretend that this is a job for amateurs, and making you feel responsible?
Finally mom ended up in the hospital after a fall. I had checked out the local assisted living facilities and had one lined up. She was transferred directly from the hospital to assisted living. This was not as easy as ABC, it was a couple weeks of hell but that’s what we’d come to.
I had gone through the same crap you did a couple times previously, hospital sending her home when she couldn’t even sit up and dad with moderate dementia trying to care for her.
She he needs to be in a facility where her needs are met....and NOT your home.
they will try to get you to agree to be her caregiver while she continues living in the same place...make it clear to them that she has been hospitalized over and over because she is t safe in the place.
leave her on their hands......