Hi! I’m just reaching out. Been struggling as my husband is in a long term care facility and as most know, the past 2 months they are not allowing visitors. I totally understand as in there was a massive outbreak in the facility. Husband got it. He survived. He lives in NJ, a covid 19 hotspot.
I agree with banning restrictions. They are telling me they are likely to resume once the country gets back to “normal” phase 3 or once the vaccine comes. Months to year?
I'm reaching out to see how others are coping. Communication with staff is impossible. They did not share covid 19 diagnosis until weeks later. So I’m not confident or trusting.
Is it possible no visits for year? Besides FaceTime and looking through the window (which they won’t allow) any creative ways to connect.
My husband is end stage Parkinson’s non verbal so on a good day communication is tough. I read him non verbally in-person. Not easy in the phone. He can’t speak,
I'm just sad and looking for hope or perspective. Safety is priority. My heart can’t take him feeling lonely isolated and more confused. He doesn’t understand why we won’t visit. Thank you. Be well.
I will not trouble you further with my predicament. I would rather offer you a possible solution. Buy yourself a gophone for your father. 40dlls. LG phoenix at Walgreens. Have facility set it up permanently for you to have a permanent virtual window to your father's bed. Through an app called DUO. A two way window. Simple. Which is pre installed in that phone.
If the facility has Wi-Fi. Your father will not run out of data streaming. The plan is for 15 or 25 DLLS. Prepaid. You can also buy one phone for yourself. So you as well can keep your virtual window open. You could have it pointing at anything if not at your self. Even better a tablet for you and or him to have a better view.
I have just set this up....although nurses don't comply with kerping it pointing at him. They are too busy. I have been able to see him while having his lunch and dinner. It has made a world of difference.
I have even left the phone on to see how he sleeps.
This is bittersweet but I do feel better making sure he is responsive and eating. I have even noticed he is not being turned every 2 hours. So it helps to sense what is going on de facto although virtually. I even noticed the food tray was not placed in front of him but sideways for him to have his spoon long distance travel to make it to his mouth.
So a permanent window is the best solution I came up with. Even if we don't chat....we look at each other.
The first few times He believed I was in the other room beside him because he saw me so close. No harm done. I am virtually next to him.
Be strong!
ktsmom
I hear you on the masks, but only because one staff member says mom keeps asking her to take it off, she won't tell anyone! She's not afraid of it though, she just wants to be able to see the woman smile. I suggested she draw on a smile... or try to get a smiley face mask.
The good news is that her facility (IL/AL/MC) is still virus free! There are only 41 confirmed cases in the whole county I live in, only 6 in my town, with 1 death for the county (no idea what town the person was from, but the first cases were in surrounding towns.) Her facility is just over the line in the next country, but still the cases are sparse, hoping they stay that way!
IF you can, and if possible buy something for your LO to keep them busy (e.g. Old time music DVD / CD for the home to play for everyone, knitting & wool, crocheting, or easy puzzles. Even a baby doll - some Love it ! I shop in the children's Toy stores for my mom. Then drop it at reception at the home, if it is possible).
Stay strong, we are all in the SAME boat, the whole world ! (We are in South Africa). ♡♡♡
My son and his wife thought of filling a box with home-made food, puzzles and drawings, etc., but is worried the police will arrest him for an unnecessary journey if he takes it there, even though visits for caring purposes are supposedly allowed. Jeremiah71 is so right.
His facility hasn’t had any cases of the Coronavirus. I feel so bad for those who do. Peace and strength to everyone here.
Between the hearing and dementia, we did not set her up with a phone either. So, it is what it is. No way to get to see her really. The facility has offerings to contact a person about, but nice as they may be, mom won't really understand and is not likely to be able to hear. Very often when visiting I would have to write things down or she wouldn't understand.
They have sent pix, she seems happy, so that's comforting. One was during bingo after a little tumble, and she looked happier than I am! At that point it was closing in on 2 months unable to buy TP!!!! It's also about 2 years that I had already been in the same kind of "lock down" mode, just because of financial issues, not illness, but just what this was changing, along came a virus, that sat down beside us... :-(
My mom had just moved ALiving a few weeks prior to lockdown, so she never really adjusted, since things changed daily for awhile. She had a contact with a covid positive staff that handed out meds, and was even further isolated, no well checks, just necessary visits wearing mask gown goggles and gloves, which really freaked her out. Once 14 days over yesterday, I brought her home until things are less isolating. Her mixed dementia symptoms seemed to accelerate daily. She wasn't sleeping much, just upset all the time. Have to pay to hold her place, even though, they have suspended move ins at this time
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The entire situation is heartbreaking I know, but I try to accept it as it is, knowing I have no control whatsoever and whatever will be will be, as cold as that sounds. It's the only way I can stay afloat during these awful times. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you peace.
Francine
How about people who absolutely refuse to do any internet for fear of stolen ID or low income, no stubborn exceptions? Limited communication makes more isolation and stress. My late mother did only phone and snail mail, but back in 2014, I could visit her. Because she slept 20 hours daily, family and staff check in visits were vital.
My mother has Lewy Body Dementia, when I ring she is always asleep or not up to it. The home has 3 covid cases but have been quite transparent so far.
Best wishes at this awful time.
My mother's memory care facility has started something called GrandGrams which are a way to email your loved one as often as you like. My mom also has macular degeneration and can't see to read the emails, but they read them to her and send me photos of her holding the emails. We attach pictures of everything from the grandchildren to my garden, to the cat (LOTS of cat pictures!).
Perhaps you can ask if your husband's place will consider setting up something like that.
They offered a free covid test that they will do on Monday. It's no wonder that some places have had issues if they dont try to test people who have had contact with an infected person until 10 days after that person gets sick. I dont think it's the facility fault, testing and results from testing are horribly inadequate
Once that's done, I'm going to bring her home with me. It's going to be hard, but I'm afraid she's going to stroke out or something with the stress and anxiety she's exhibiting. They upped the dosage on her anxiety/sundowning meds but I'm not sure that's helping. They've already informed people that if they leave, they cant return until restrictions are lifted, but who knows when that will be????
We moved her there as a compromise I would have a little space for me in my life, and she would have more mental stimulation and exercise than she was getting at my home. She just doesn't have any hobbies, her thing was people watching, socializing, and church. None of which she has now. I feel like I've put my mom in jail in solitary confinement.