My parent moved in with my husband, daughter and I 8 years ago because my mother's medical costs left them no choice. My mother passed 3 years ago after a long illness of COPD and emphysema during which time I was her main caretaker plus working full time. My father is 93, in good health and still is with us. My daughter is a senior in college and this arrangement has been going on through her entire high school years as well as all of her college years. I come home and have no privacy, no room to have my own life at all. Every decision is driven by the fact that my father is there and he doesn't like it when we go anywhere. If we do go to a movie or dinner we feel obligated to ask him along since he doesn't have anyone in his life but us. I guess I am just exhausted at this point and depressed. I find myself just not wanting to go home anymore. Both my husband and I have pretty high stress jobs so it's getting to both of us. I know there isn't anything that can change, I just need to vent somewhere because at this point every time I leave the house I am in tears. Eight years is a long time and the relationships with both my parents have never been great.
take care,
Carol
We take him daily to a city run senior day car facility. Medicare pays for part of the daily cost, Dad pays for the rest $15 per day.
This gives my wife a break while I am at work and he is at the center. The caregivers at the center are very attentive to his needs.
The center is open on Saturdays, so we take advantage from time to time to give us both some get a way time. It's only about 8 hours but it feels like much more. We can go to lunch, shopping, to a movie or other activities without having to worry about dad.
Medicare also provides up to 7 days respit care. We've never taken advantage of this time, but it would provide a short vacation by allowing dad to spend time at an assisted living home.
When I start reaching the "breaking point" I remember the times when as a kid I probably brought my mom and dad to their breaking points. Now it's my Dad's turn to get back at me for some of the stress I caused for him.
He had to worry about me for about 17 years while I was living at home. He had to care for me for the first 1-5 years. He did it with love and great care. I'm paying him back....
God Bless you
Fernando
your mom needs to get checked out with a doctor and then ou can decide what would be the best thing for them both . as for bills you;ll need to help your mom to pay for it , sit with her at the table and help her with it . write checks with her .
if there is another siblings , time for a family meeting and go from there . come back on this site and keep us informed, . happy new year !