She is on antidepressant already. She goes through moods but usually she is either fine or extremely irritable. The past few days it has been just kinda blaa, but today real depressed except for when my aunt came she seem to pop out of it. Now she is sitting in her chair wishing she would leave this world; with a far away look in her eyes. She says no one cares about her, I try to reassure her that is not true, but when your depressed it feels like no one cares.. I feel so sorry for her.
1) medication adjustment (everything else will be much easier if the chemistry can be balanced)
2) therapy
3) social activities
Trying to do these in the reverse order is nearly impossible with someone deep into depression.
I know docs just want to write a prescription and send them home like they are curing a headache, but it doesn't work for most seniors in treating the root cause and giving them a reason to keep getting up everyday or wanting to wake up to another day.
Try to participate in some senior group activities with her where she might meet some new friends. If you attend first few times with her, it might give her confidence to go and be open. You be the social role model. Maybe it's senior sneakers, or walking the mall, or senior center, church group, or other. Check out retired senior volunteer person in your locale and see if a companion might visit her some. Maybe you can organize a senior lunch with a few ladies at a fast food or local diner so she can meet new people.
It's tough and bless you for wanting to make it better.
If your mother is anything like mine, she can think herself into depression. She has tried antidepressants in years gone by, but said they didn't do her any good. In her case I think it is because she isn't physically depressed. She does have a habit of thinking bad things that others are doing and feeling. For example, this week she feels that my brother and his kids are not treating her well. They are acting the same as always, but she has started dwelling on them. It upsets her and she starts crying and getting very angry. All of this is being created in her mind, where she takes bits of real information and weaves it with imaginary. She has turned my brother and his family into bad people. Trying to reason with her is not possible, because her reality is her own.
My mother tends to stare off in space when this is going on, too. This made me wonder if yours might be doing the same. I don't know how to get my mother to stop inventing things in her head without entertaining her all day and night. I couldn't do that without totally losing myself and going broke.
Everything they go through not only affects them, but also affects us. I would talk to your mother's primary care physician.