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My mother was recently released from the nursing home, and a lot of the caregivers are late, don't call in, or show up with cold symptoms. She finally has found a good caregiver. Does anyone else have these problems?

You are lucky your mom finally found an aide whom she is happy with.

I agree with most that has been said below. It’s a difficult, low-paid job with no benefits and hardly any opportunity to lead to something more. In my area, I think they start around $16 or $18/hour as the rest goes to the agency. I honestly don’t think I could deal with the job myself for even ten times that.

My MIL fired aides for ridiculous things — cutting the sandwiches the “wrong” way or not folding the blankets and sheets the way she liked. And she accused them of stealing things which they did not do.

Im not saying your mom is like this. Only that the aides get all kinds of clients and it’s got to be a very, very tough way to make a living.
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Suzy23 Dec 15, 2024
PS my dad (who had dementia) just hated the aides, period. He was sometimes hostile and almost always uncooperative with bathing, grooming, eating, letting them clean his room or change his bed sheets, changing his filthy clothes, having his blood pressure checked, or even getting up off the floor when he fell. He would sometimes yell at them to leave him there. And then my mom asked hers to do tasks that really are not part of the job, like scrub mold out of her washing machine or pull up poison ivy in her yard.
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I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years and am now in the business. So I'll explain.

Number one, the caregiver probably has other clients before your mother and sometimes getting from point A to point B may take a few minutes longer than other times. Also, the care agency is supposed allow for adequate travel time between a caregiver's clients. This way no one is "late" and no one needs to stand at the door with a stop watch in one hand and the phone in the other complaining to the agency if someone is 10 seconds late.

Number two, the agency is responsible for calling the client (or their representative) to inform them that their regular caregiver is going to be out. The agency is also responsible for finding a fill-in to cover the shift. Granted, most of the time this does not happen and sometimes even I get stuck covering for a caregiver if there's no available fill-in and I'm the boss. Though how I run things is the exception rather than the rule in the homecare business. Clients and caregivers are not supposed to communicate outside of the caregiver's paid hours. Caregivers usually get fired if they give their phone numbers or email addresses out to clients. The agency who they work for handles it.

Number three. The caregivers are showing up woth cold symptoms because being a homecare worker is a hard, low-paying, crappy job with no benefits and no job security. Like I said, I did it for 25 years. I never had an agency position with paid sick time or insurance benefits. So the caregiver comes to work sick because they can't afford to lose pay.

I hope I've shed some light on the lives of in-home caregivers. The problems are usually not their fault. The fault usually lies with the homecare agency that employs them or the clients themselves.
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Yes, it's just goes with the territory. I was PoA for my 2 elderly Aunts is a distant state (I grew up with them so they were like other mothers to me). When it came time to hire in-home help I went through a reputable agency that I vetted as best I could. I even met the owner, who was in the process of caring for his own elderly Mom.

I had to go through at least 3 "losers" until I we hit the jackpot with a most excellent person who came 30 hrs a week for 6 years. But this was about 10 years ago and now between the economy and the labor shortage, I'm not sure how much worse it's gotten. All I can recommend is to keep your standards high but reasonable, and to communicate clearly and respectfully and have tempered expectations that each on who shows up is in a probationary period of testing before you consider them the right one.

I'm glad you found 1 good one. Personally I would look for a second one as well -- especially if you are privately hiring you will need a sub for your primary person's sick days and vacations (or split the hours between the 2 so they are incentivized to stay). Good people know they are good but they aren't in it for charity so they need as many consistent weekly hours as possible. I think a minimum of 25 to 30 to keep the good ones.
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BurntCaregiver Dec 15, 2024
Really, Geaton "losers"? I find in my most extensive experience as one of those "losers" for 25 years and now being the employer of such "losers", that when these "losers" get paid a decent wage, are offered some benefit (even small ones like half pay when clients cancel or the caregiver is out sick), and work for an agency (and clients) who have some respect for them and what they do, these "losers" end up being winners and the best in this field.

The real "losers" here are usually the overly greedy homecare agencies that employ these people and offer zero training or support. They are seen as little more than garbage. Clients and their families often expect too much from their homecare aide. They often have impossible expectations and think the caregiver is supposed to perform miracles for their "loved one". Most of the time these families can barely stand to be in the same room with their "loved one" but they want those miracles. They expect the caregiver to not only make the client's home immaculate and keep it that way, they also want all the errands run, all the meals prepared, and that caregiver better also be a good entertainer who keeps the client engaged and happy at all times.

Somehow I just get the feeling that in your homecare experience, you didn't keep your standards 'reasonable'.
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Yes, and that is why I eventually had to find an assisted living home for my mom. The pay for home caregivers is not good and they quite often have many problems of their own, which is understandable, but very difficult to work around. The dependable caregivers are absolute angels. So treat them well, or better than well.
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BurntCaregiver Dec 15, 2024
@ArtistDaughter

It's up to the homecare agency they work for to treat them well first.
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This is, yes, a very common problem as you can imagine.
It is often one reason that home care is so impossible.
When you think of it this is the same problem for working parents who have children dependent on nannies and care workers, and is a major reason for many sick calls in our country. The very young and the very old suffer the same fates in these instances.
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