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Today my mom called to say that my sister was very upset with her. She claims to not know why, and said she cried for about two hours. She said that she only thanks my sister for all her help, is never mean to her. She wonders if it was just a bad dream.


Checking with my sister, the issue was my sister keeping my mom's one remaining car key (she doesn't drive). My mom wants her keys in her possession, but she loses them. Apparently she was very angry with my sister.


This has happened several times before; my mom becomes very angry and creates a scene, then later on feels terrible but says she doesn't remember the incident. She's in the early/moderate stage of dementia. Does she truly not remember, or is she pretending? How do we respond to this?

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Nope, she doesn't remember. Just keep loving on her.
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Yes, I believe that your mom is being honest about her not remembering. My mom also has early stage dementia and she does the exact same thing. (remembering things that happened/etc.)

Bless her heart.
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I'm a full time caregiver for my Mom who has dementia and I would say that your Mom honestly does not remember. Dementia translated means that the brain is broken. My Mom is the sweetest person that I know and she also gets upset when she forgets things that she "tries" to remember.

It's not their fault. If someone with cancer said they are feeling horrible from the chemo treatments would you believe them or think they were lying? Same thing.

What helped me was watching Teepa Snow youtube video's. I learned so much from them as well as the other members here.

Edit: My Mom likes to keep her possessions also. I believe the reason for that is because her possessions are all she has left of her old life. She clings to her pocketbook always looking inside (there's nothing of value) but it makes her feel better. She feels like she has "some" control left after losing most of it.

Best to you and your Mom,
Jenna
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I'm guessing she really doesn't remember. I know there were several times when I would lose my patience with my husband who had vascular dementia, and would end up hollering at him, and then later would go back to apologize to him for my outburst, and he would look at me confused, and say that he didn't remember me doing that. I was always glad when he didn't remember, because those were not my finest moments.
I know with dementia and alzheimers patients, you have to meet them where they're at and adjust to their world, as sometimes that can look very different from our world.
Perhaps your sister can just give your mom an old key(that's not needed any more)that she can keep up with, and if she loses it, it will not be a big deal.
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As we always say, you are talking to dementia. It can't be reasoned with. As to whether she remembers, forgets, remembers again, or whatever, you cannot know the answer to that. Neither could we, really. Many posters here say that they are being manipulated and have proof of it. For myself, I trust that they do not remember if they say they don't, and are diagnosed with dementia.
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