I feel like I am going nowhere...like a hamster on a wheel. Between working a full time job and a part time job, taking care on Mom including her medicines and finances, and my daughter, her son and now my step daughter and her husband moving in, I am finding there aren't enough hours in the day. Hubby and I are tempted to move in with Mom (we are,there every night anyway) and leaving the house to the kids. Days like today I feel like there is no end in sight. I have noticed a huge drop in Mom's mental and physical condition in the past month.
I managed to pull the plug on some unauthorized spending on my tab by family members, but have not yet managed to pull the plug on lazy a** behavior that leaves me doing not only a full time plus job that supports everyone but also the lion's share of the housework, bill paying - and organizing- which I am the least well-suited to do.
I don't mean to be cruel, but it's time to recognize that part of the reason you feel like a hamster is because of your own willingness to be that hamster, as Maggie as aptly puts it.
You're also enablers.
Stop it. There's no shortcut to heaven. Learn to say no.
If so, then I would expect that they're going to help with EVERYTHING that needs to be done in your house as well as help with your caregiving tasks. If they're not working, that's even more justification for them to assume major responsibility for household tasks.
I'd be making up a list of what chores they can assume and have it ready before they even move in.
Accepting 3 adults and one child/teenager is too much to do without expecting that they're going to make financial and physical contributions, both for you and for your mother.