My husband and I bought my parents home, 8 years ago and combined living. 4 months ago mom had series of strokes, and is in nursing home. I have been dealing with depression for 2 years and been suicidal, hospitalized several times. Mom asks every visit, when is she going home? I decided not to visit for a couple of weeks to see if it will sink in that she has to stay there now. I feel so confused about this, but relieved too. Am I an awful person? I see my dad and mom asks him the same question about coming home. He understands she can't. Words of wisdom please. :)
I am not going to tell you not to feel guillty, you do because you are a loving person. What I will tell you, parents don't have children so they can be a burden on them in the older years. I wanted to take care of my mom, and I am. She is in a place where she is getting the best care available, just as your mother. I too have several health issues and taking care of her here at home was beginning to take a toll on me also. Which if it had continue I wouldn't been able to give my mother the proper care she needed nor would I been able to care for myself.
Visit your mom or you will regret the little time you could of had with her. My mom doesn't remember me being there 5 mins after I leave. But we enjoy the time we have together even if she is still threating sucide if she can't leave with me. Love yourself enough to know you are doing the best thing for your mom by placing her in a place where she is getting the care she needs. God be with you and your family.
My mother was in a nursing home over four years due to a stroke and a broken hip that she never recovered from. She constantly wanted to go home and even thought at times that she could walk again and could drive home. However, for her safety, it was not an option to take her home. No matter how often we explained to her why she could not go home, she would still ask to go home from time to time. I would try to divert the conversation to another topic or would say that such a decision was not mine to make, but the doctor's or would say that I'd talk with the social worker about it. What does your dad say when she asks him about going home?
Are you taking an anti-depressant? Are you seeing a therapist? If not, I recommend that you do to help you deal with all of this.