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My fiance TOLD me his gram was moving in last March after we found out his aunt wasn't treating her right and spending all of her money. He didn't ask or even let me give an opinion because she helped raise him he HAD to he thinks. They didn't want the house sold to pay for a home but no one else that was capable would step up. I have a now 5yr old, a 10yr old and a 16 yr old stepson I have to drag this lady everywhere with me and more times than not she refuses unless she can take her dogs. We had to move from the home she originally moved in with us at for reasons having nothing to do with her for the most part so we now live in her home. She will all day long tell me to clean this clean that I couldn't even send my daughter to headstart because she wouldn't go with to drop her off in the am. I bathe her I feed her she is a fall risk and insists on getting up all hours of the night to take her stupid dogs out that pee in the house anyway. She pays her health ins and car note but that's in we bear the rest of the burden she insists on feeding her dogs people food all the time ( which we pay for). She has hit me and my kids along with verbal abuse. This is just a fraction of my thoughts about this whole shitty situation I HATE IT HERE and can feel myself getting more and more depressed I have no real time for my kids if I'm not paying attention to her she looks thru the house for me calling hey,hey,hey and her verbal skills are shot so I struggle to even understand her. He doesn't care how miserable I am he thinks I'm a selfish bitch. What the hell should I do I'm 36 my kids are finally old enough to do most things we like kayaking and fishing and its like pulling teeth to get her other daughter to help when we want to do stuff " she has a life too" lol. I am in misery please someone give me some advice

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Get out ASAP!!!
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Better you find this out before you married this guy. He did you a big favor.
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I'm going to be very, very blunt here. You wrote:

"I have to drag this lady everywhere with me " NO, you don't. Are you a slave? Don't be one.

And why would you even consider remaining engaged to a man who treated you as this one does? Break the engagement, find a place to stay, and get out. Contact county resources if you have to.

Are the 3 kids by your so-called fiancé? If so, go see the County Friend of the Court and ask how to get court ordered paternity and support. If these kids are in fact by this guy, I don't understand how a finance relationship could be going on for so many years and no marriage ever took place. That tells me that one was never planned by this "fiancé."

If' you allow yourself to be treated as a doormat, people will in fact treat you that way.
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Leave.
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Get out. Move on. Is this really the way you want to live your life? I finally got a clue - with the help of the people here. But I finally thought "If I were to die tomorrow- is this how I would have wanted my last years to be? Putting my own family second to my mother - who was sucking the sanity, Heath, happiness out of me"? You don't get a single day back - not one minute to do over. Do you really want to spend your life with a man who has so little regard for you? For your children? He owes her - fine, let him pay her back. Not you. Not your children.
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His grandmother sounds like she may have mental decline. She may need more care than you can provide in the home. Keeping your children in that environment sounds like a horrible idea. I would secure alternate housing immediately. Let your fiance and/or his family make arrangements for her care.
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Get out now. Take your kids and leave that house or horror. You're not a prisoner so just go.
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"I couldn't even send my daughter to headstart because she wouldn't go with to drop her off in the am."

"She has hit me and my kids along with verbal abuse."

These two statements tell me one important thing -- you are making this woman a priority over your OWN CHILDREN.

Wrong. Your first responsibility is to your own children.

If fiance won't move his grandmother out, then you move out.
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Get out as fast as you can. your not even married yet and Its only going to get worse not better. He feels he owes her. then let HIM take care of her. don't subject you and your children to a life of abuse . Your children should be your #1 priority.
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