Fired caregiver still visits mom at her house. Is there anything I can do to protect my mom?

This situation is totally unprofessional and inappropriate on the caregiver. Call the agency and report this. No one should be buying and serving alcohol to an elderly “ patient/ former patient, especially a so called “ care giver”. Good luck

aj6044: The locks should be changed on your mother's apartment. Visits are unwelcome from this fired ex caregiver.

I understand you don't want your mother to drink. Tell the caregiver not to give your mom wine anymore. In no uncertain terms. Visiting your mom is nice, bringing alcohol is not.

First of all, there's no reason on earth why the care agency your mother uses should know who her friends are or who visits her apartment. It's none of their damn business.
No, there really isn't anything you can do except talk to her former caregiver/friend who visits and ask (not tell) her to stop bringing wine for your mom. Let her know that you appreciate that she was more than just a hired caregiver to you mom. That she became a friend and stayed one. Then ultimately it will be up to your mother. It's her choice whether she wants to drink or not. Honestly though from what you say in your profile about how bad off your mother is from a stroke, does it really matter if she has a few drinks at this point?
Maybe ask her friend to not let her get loaded on the wine. Maybe she would be willing to water it down for your mom.

Just read your profile indicating your mother is memory impaired.  This might be the key to getting assistance for your mother against the former caregiver.

AJ, assuming that you don't have authority pursuant to any proxy document (such as a DPOA or even a Living Will), there might be another option:  Next Friend appointment and request for a restraining order.

A Next Friend suit in my experience was typically filed for children or someone disabled, to enable a relative or other person to legally act on behalf of the child or disabled person.  The category of "person" though is subject to legal interpretation as well as case law, and it would be too time consuming for me to research it to determine if it could extend to you, but I believe it can.

That was back in the 1960s and later.  I don't know w/o doing some legal research whether or not that option is still available, so your best course of action is to raise this with an attorney experienced in contested probate, estate, or elder care matters.

The Next Friend would act on behalf of another, b/c of age or illness. In this case, it might be that your mother's care plan restricting alcohol use might be the trigger for a NF appointment.  An attorney would handle the hearing and draft the NF order, which would include the right to restrict undesirable people as well as the right to restrict alcohol as well as any substance that violates a legitimate care plan.

Alma's and others' analysis of the situation and what you can do now are insightful.    But I'm thinking that there is a way around those limitations, and it's a NF suit and PPO.

That raises another issue:  who prepared the care plan, and did your mother sign and accept it?   If so, she's being manipulated into a position of breaking the terms.   Even though she's cognizant of her actions, I don't think it's beyond reason to state that someone with an addiction isn't always capable of making a good choice.  You need to step up and do that, and the NF option is the best way I can think of under the circumstances.

Check with your county and state and see if they have an Elder Law staff or departments that could help guide you through this.   Michigan has an Elder Law department which has provided me with helpful information in the past (free of charge).   This would be ideal b/c you're also invoking the State's authority to protect elder people from abuse and danger.

Please keep us informed on your progress; I'm hopeful you can get some initial information from an attorney, select one, and go forward with a NF appointment that allows you to obtain a restraining order against the enabler.

Personally, I think the enabler's behavior challenges the limits of acceptable behavior, and I have to wonder what this person is gaining from the manipulation.  Do you know if your mother's funds are being used to purchase the alcohol, and is this enabler drinking it?  If so, that's yet another elder abuse to address.  

I also would ask the health company for their assistance; w/o knowing or reading the contract the "caregiver" signed, it's hard to know how far their authority extends, but it could include post discharge behavior, especially if it's elder abuse.

BTW, have you spoken with anyone in law enforcement about this?   They might have answers and suggested solutions as well.

How often does this occur? DAily? Weekly?

She probably developed a relationship with this caregiver and maybe she's LONELY and the ex-CG is one of the few people who show up.

She's no longer employed, so reaching out to the cg company is pointless.

Sounds like you or someone else with some kind of authority needs to step in and get the real info.

Maybe a happy medium can be reached. Like, a limit to the amount of wine. No hard liquor, no 'partying'. Just a glass or two of wine and a chat. So many of our elderly are just so lonely!!

Sounds like you don't have the entire, true story. Before you go barreling over there, angry, take a minute to find out just exactly what IS going on.

Even with an Immediate POA, if Mom is competent, not much you can do. Drinking may not be in her care plan but lots of people go against Drs. orders. POAs are great tools, but they do have limitations.

Why is no drinking in her care plan? Does it interfere with a medication she is on? Because she already has liver damage and drinking could kill her? I would find out if this aide could be held accountable if something happens to Mom that alcohol was the cause. If you find out she could be held accountable, I would tell the aide this and that you will bring charges against her if anything happens to Mom alcohol related. That means if she falls and breaks something because she is drunk, the aide will be held responsible. Or falls and dies, that is really serious.

Call the local authorities since this is a case of endangering a senior.

I assume your mom is letting her in. Charges need to be filed either through the Home Health Company or by you.

If mom has been diagnosed with dementia you should be able to file a restraining order especially if you are power of attorney.

If she is healthy,lucid and wants her company there is nothing you can do. I would install Nest cameras to monitor activities when mom is alone. We installed for elderly aunt to monitor her care and possible falls.

Someone mentioned changing the locks but this will not help if momma is letting her in.

Call Adult Protective Services?

Does mom abuse alcohol? Or does she enjoy a glass of wine now and then?

change the locks

Well, this comes down to what power you actually have. Your mother, it sounds like, is living independently at this time. I am assuming that means that she has no diagnosis of dementia, that you are not her designated POA with implementation of those duties. If I am right, there quite honestly nothing you can do. Especially if the agency is already taking action against this person. If this person is now saying "Well, you fired me. Fine. But this is still my friend and we have cocktails at 5:00" I suspect there is little you can do.
Your Mom apparently, according to your assessment, has a drinking problem. You can't control that. I would attend Al-Anon just to let you get how helpless you actually are. Until Mom goes down, breaking a hip or some other bones, there is likely little you can do; even then, when all is said and done, and rehab is over, there is nothing to change things your Mom doesn't wish changed.
I am so sorry you are going through this. But your Mom is either competent or she is not. If she is not she should not be alone living independently. That would give some power to someone.
So sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best. And your Mom as well.

Is anyone the PoA for you mom? If so, this person should read the PoA doc to see when the authority is activated. If this person is able to activate their authority then the PoA can get a restraining order. If no one is the PoA and she doesn't have a diagnosis of incapacity, there is nothing to be done except contacting APS to report her if the alcoholism causes her to need help.

Do you live locally to her?

"I don't care if this caregiver comes over and provides company to my mom but buying wine for my mom and serving it to her..." She is not there to keep her company but to take advantage of her. She knows your mom's care plan and doesn't care.