Christmas card expectations are often based on what happened in the 1950s and 60s, when most of the time elders died younger, wives didn’t work, and children expected less. The memories are normally of the better bits – not of the alcohol and adult anger that was often there. Elders now seem to want those Christmas memories to be recreated, but with themselves still alive and being an extra-special part of it.
My own 1950’s childhood happy Christmases were very simple and low cost, with my mother, grandfather and sisters but no other relations for 12,000 miles. On Christmas Eve my grandfather ‘planted’ bottle tops for the only soft drinks we ever had, and in the morning the bottles had ‘grown’ underneath the bottle tops. Our little present piles were increased by M wrapping up new socks and underwear. Father Christmas came after breakfast, because he had to go to England (and of course the USA) first – they were closer to the North Pole than where we lived. My sisters and I were very happy with all this, and we had no TV to compare it with. I still like it simple, though I’m glad now it’s by choice, not necessity.
Happy Christmas planning to you all. Can you make happy memories that fit our own times?
I still do the specialized Christmas cards which I order on-line from Hallmark. All the address labels are printed out. I even do the Christmas letter (I know some hate these letters) I try to make mine comical. Example "our cat Molly had a checkup at the Vet, it was a success... she didn't bite anyone."
Wish hubby's family would just give me gift cards, even though I love cats, I am not fond of a cat face on a sweatshirt, a cat pin, or cat coloring book (why do young people think we like to color???... it's hard to see between the lines and holding those extra thin color pencils aren't easy).
We helped a family, Mom and son, at one time but stopped when he turned 18 and was out of school. I still help a guy who grew up with my oldest. He is in a NH because he is challenged and we have no group homes here. His Mom is in the same place suffering from Dementia. I just give him new clothes and toiletries.
The ones who kept the Holidays going are gone. Aunts and Uncles are gone and cousins have moved away. Siblings all live in the South 1 and 2 days drive for us. My girls aren't as close to their cousins as I was with mine. This will be my last year for goodies being sent to one set of in laws that have no children and have been good to mine. The main reason the one thing I make has been hard to get the main ingredient since COVID and just can't be searching high and low for it anymore. DH found 2 jars last year so will be using the last one this year. The other reason, shipping costs are outrageous. Very few cards this year.
Everyone gets to pick one item they like and I bake it or dip it. I no longer worry about the house being spotless. I do like to decorate. I have a small tree. Lasagna for Christmas Eve when my immediate family is there. Christmas just me and DH.
Some ways to cope in general though :
By not giving in to all that store advertisements and media tells us are the must haves and must dos .
By paying attention to what’s important and not important to survive and hopefully find some enjoyment during the holidays.
By sloooooowing down . Pace yourself . Simplify where you can without feelings of guilt , obligations , and fear of disappointing others.
By admitting , and accepting whatever the limits we each have this season and all year long .
By asking and listening to each other. And help each other deal with the end of a tough year .
We will have a meal together . Just DH and I and the kids and their partners . Some simple decorations , music , a fun movie at home , play a game . The gifts I could do without , it was much easier to buy for the kids when they were young . But I do get them a couple of things to open and a gift card to the grocery store each year .
I will likely send very few cards this year. Instead will spend time to cook and drop off meals for some I know had a rough year .
Now I have to practice what I preach .
I’m at a place where the pain is somewhat balanced by the joy and memories. I’m able to go to events I couldn’t attend when I was caregiving and I’m looking forward to them. I hope everyone can find a piece of the season to enjoy, whatever that might mean to them.
I get my kids and everyone stockings filled with goodies, that they love. Chocolate oranges, and beef jerky are a must. It's actually a bit of work and thinking and cost, there older and that's all they get from me. But it's what they luv and want, and are little tradition.
Home and for me I just love the decorations had my morning coffee, in my favorite room, with my favorite xmass decor, watching the birds. Trying to think positive, and not think , "what else is going to go wrong today"
I treasure memories of what holidays once were with home made goodies and decorations. With ice skating and game boards.
I loathe what they have become.
And Christmas Cards? What are those? Thank you letters? Who every heard of such an archane thing.
As Dylan said (and I don't mean Thomas)--the times they are a-changin.
I'm the family Grinch who lives to find Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol on TV and find a good reading of Christmas Carol on Librivox.
I send my daughter as beautiful card as I can find. That's it. My partner is on for the tree and decorating. It gets smaller every year. But he does well.
When/if it "gets to me" I go to my sewing machine and do up another kimono. It's a Zen for me, and brings me peace.
Christmas is God's punishment on us atheists.
Ffw, now, Christmas for me includes escaping to some Caribbean island with my sister and a friend or two. We have been going away every Christmas for the past 20 years and we look forward to it. I'm now counting the days before we head out this year. 🫡
Thanks Giving is my worst holiday though out the year,for me. I should change it, I could change it, but I'm always thinking in the back of my head, this could be moms last Thanksgiving.