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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Stop beating yourself up over it. It happens. Some of the demands our loved ones who need care make or their expectations are unreasonable. Sometimes, their attitude just plain stinks. I understand that your mother has anxiety and depression - so does my FIL - and it's very difficult being around a person whose constantly negative. Identify what triggered you to scream. Usually there's a way to fix it or at least some ways you can try to alleviate the stress. You are doing your best. Apologize, give her a hug and move on.
We need more information to help you better. But if mom has dementia and you have screamed at her...well, most of us have been there a time or two. But we learn to do better with the help of others on here. If all you did was scream at her then drop the guilt. As Oprah once said, "when we know better then we do better." There is no room or reason to feel guilty you didn't intend to hurt your mom. You are probably doing the best you can with what you have. We all are.
I think anyone, especially those dealing with a parent with dementia has lost their temper. There are so many aspects of caring for someone with dementia that are frustrating and we are human. When I feel myself losing my temper I leave the room for a few minutes. I count to 10 or 110 or yell into my pillow or most often I just take a few deep breaths. If I find myself being short with my mom as soon as I calm myself down again I tell her I'm sorry for snapping at her. I give her a hug. I tell her it is not her fault and that I'm just tired, or whatever. Then we both feel better and move on from there. The important thing is to find a way to deal with your frustration in a manner that does not involve screaming in frustration.
What would you do to a friend? apologize right. Just say "I should not have yelled I'm sorry" These are the hardest words ever. But just say them and you and she will feel better.
What was building inside that lead to the scream? step back and look at it with logic as a problem to solve. When i cared for my dad - i let him get to me. He would try to make me angry so that i wouldn't come back & that meant my stepmom could not go away for the weekend for a caregiver break. [He did not want her to leave for any reason]. If i couldn't ignore, distract, use humor - i would have to disengage - either go upstairs or outside where he couldn't get to me. I would have to do that until i was calm enough to deal. and yes - i screamed - outside often and loudly. Once in front of the neighbors who had come over to cut wood.
you are only human and dealing with a tough situation. Be gentle with yourself. try to understand yourself. Give yourself a hug. Give your mom a hug and tell her you love her. You are probably feeling pretty bruised right now -so be gentle with yourself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There is NOTHING more you can do than try not to do it again.
And, now I come to think of it, avoid triggers. What was happening?
apologize right.
Just say "I should not have yelled I'm sorry"
These are the hardest words ever. But just say them and you and she will feel better.
What was building inside that lead to the scream? step back and look at it with logic as a problem to solve. When i cared for my dad - i let him get to me. He would try to make me angry so that i wouldn't come back & that meant my stepmom could not go away for the weekend for a caregiver break. [He did not want her to leave for any reason]. If i couldn't ignore, distract, use humor - i would have to disengage - either go upstairs or outside where he couldn't get to me. I would have to do that until i was calm enough to deal. and yes - i screamed - outside often and loudly. Once in front of the neighbors who had come over to cut wood.
you are only human and dealing with a tough situation. Be gentle with yourself. try to understand yourself. Give yourself a hug. Give your mom a hug and tell her you love her. You are probably feeling pretty bruised right now -so be gentle with yourself.
Completely forgive yourself. Don’t think about this again. Don’t dwell on it, wish you hadn’t, mull it over, just let it go.
Now do do something that gives you a break.