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Good for you! You know what you don’t want. Stick to it! Start with funeral arrangements - or delegate that to one of your siblings. You have done a lot !!!
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this will sound harsh but if your siblings are pushing for this, tell them to pick which house of "theirs" is the mother going to spend her final days........but you are not emotionally/physically capable of doing it. And why not just let her in the long term care place? My father also had dementia and was in a nursing facility for 6 years....when his time came, the called us as a family to come in to see him. they made him comfortable and he was not awake anyhow. so why bring her home, the move alone might do her in before she would even settle in the home. Let her be where she is and visit when you can..........otherwise, tell siblings they can take your mom this time around. wishing you luck and get some help in dealings with your own health.
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My dad was on Hospice at Home. HOWEVER, our family dynamics were much different. Caring for someone with dementia is very hard. I'm just starting to realize that my mother in law has had it for some time & I didn't notice. MOST facilities offer hospice, while a patient is in a facility. That way, the rest of your family is satisfied that she's with Hospice & you don't have to see it or live with people in your house. PLUS, hospice doesn't provide 24/7 care. You & your siblings/mom would still need to pay for all of that. It's better to keep her in long term care with Hospice.
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