My husband has been partial care giving for his dad (he is in his mid-80's). Diabetic, eats candy, ice cream, pies, etc. Wants the miracle pill that will make him 16 again, hateful, deaf (refuses to get a hearing aid that would help the deafness), picky eater (wants pigs feet, biscuits with lots of gravy, no left overs -- this includes freshly just made sandwiches that have been made with "left over" ingredients such as ham, cheese, etc.)
His health has been declining and my husband has been making 3-4 trips to his house a day, fixing meals (some get one or two bites with a "I can't eat this sh** or thrown across the room). My hubby has been getting up earlier before work, driving to his house and keeping a horrible schedule.
In these last few months, he has had an increase in his sugar levels from diabetes, gained weight, tired from lack of sleep and his blood pressure was through the roof (e.g. 222/124).
Two weeks ago, my father in law went to the hospital. His blood sugar levels are better than my husbands (before going in) and they have taken him off a lot of the unnecessary meds he was on. He is scheduled to go to a nursing home for rehab.
In that time, my husband has been happier, blood pressure slowly impoving, he is losing weight and getting more sleep. My blood pressure has been going down too.
He has said that he is not going several times a day to the nursing home, in fact he is not even going to go every day. He said any man in his 80's that the doctors have stabalized and in many ways is doing better than we are does not need him constantly.
Has anyone else had their health suffer due to care giving? Did it improve when your family member passed or went to a nursing home? We have learned it is just not worth it.
I finally got to the point where I decided enough was enough. I knew nothing was ever going to change. She has five kids who can't stand to be around her because of her attitude. I have gotten VERY angry and threatened to move out several times, so, she will "Band-Aid" the situation by telling me what I wanted to hear and walking on egg shells for about a week or two after which everything would return to the way it was.
It was then that I realized that I needed to do something. I can't really afford to move out because I am still building up my business, and she cannot live on the farm by herself because of her physical and mental condition. I began seeing a psychologist for talk therapy, and a psychiatrist for medicinal therapy. The psychologist has given me a lot of tips on ways to deal with my grandmother, and the psychiatrist has prescribed an anti-depressant that has helped me feel better emotionally.
The biggest lesson I have learned is to not feed into her negativity. I realized that if I don't play into her little games, it wont affect me as much and she will drop it and leave me alone. It is still a work in progress, but I am starting to feel better about everything.
tomorrow I take dad to the doctor yippee! :-) W
today mom had ot and sponge bath
deal with all the doctors, the meds, order meds, and then at the last he got a bed sore which I had to doctor for him. He became very confused because his renal system was shutting down. It was just horrid what he went through. I tried my very best to take care of him and Mom.