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Story I hear all the time. Luckily for me, despite my moms other issues, she WANTED go to a senior community, my dad would not but once my dad passed she was gone. Though in my case my mom makes up for it in other ways by being just as demanding and needy of me.

But lots of uncles, aunts, friends parents say say same thing. One aunt is turning 100 and lives in own home, and my cousins tried to get her into AL several times only for her to throw temper tantrums. About seven years ago, they decided she probably didnt have much time so lets work together to allow her to stay home. But that was seven years ago and shes still there

A couple years back they finally laid down the law. If you want to stay at home, we are going to hire tons of outside help to come in here, and we will help out also (she has kids, grown grandkids, etc in the area) but you need to hire outside help

Even though my aunt had the resources, she protested as she was frugal

My cousins told her, we dont care. You either shell out for lots of outside help so you can stay at home, or you are going . We cannot sacrifice our own lives forever because you want to die at home. But at least they didnt live with her as it sounds like you do.

I dont know financial situation, but can you hire outside help to care for her in her home so you can move out and live your own life? For not its not even a question of living a good life, its a matter of living, you are going work yourself to death.
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It doesn't matter what she wants. You are 70 and time is slipping away for you. Mom is selfish but you can and should get your life back.
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