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You haven't really told us anything about your husband, does he have a diagnosis of either one or are you just in the early stages of trying to figure out what might be wrong? The Mayo clinic has an article comparing the two:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/in-depth/alzheimers/art-20048362
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My Dh suffered from poorly managed depression for about 10+ years. He was on the wrong med and his overworked PCP would ask him if he was OK and he'd say yes and she'd refill the med.

Crazy town--I see a PSYCHIATRIST twice a year who monitors my meds and mood very closely.

Dh had 2 heart attacks last year and I requested and received a psych workup and lo and behold--a change in meds was a gift.

He does have to follow up once a year with his psych doc, and he told me they're taking him off the AD's since he feels 'fine' and they want heart patients on fewer meds. I told him I didn't know if I could take his down in the dumps attitude--he has been so much better on the meds.

He is brilliant and gets "bored' very easily. If he can replace the AD's with 4 to 5 activities he loves, I think he'd be OK. He just got down and that was his norm.

I do feel very cheated, he was chronically depressed for more than 3/4ths of our married life, only coming 'to the party' when it was something he liked doing. Otherwise, he'd be asleep on the couch.
Depression is not a joke and it's not something you can snap out of.

I know he has long term issues with his abusive mother, but they will never come to terms as she is now 90 and crazy as a loon. He needed closure on why she was so awful to him, and will never get it.

People who are really smart often come across as having some kind of dementia b/c they are always thinking of other stuff and seem to not be engaged in the minute. My DH is on another plane all the time. If he develops dementia, we won't even really notice.
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My MIL went into LTC due to compromising short-term memory loss. She became more depressed as the weeks went by and the facility gave her anti-depressants, as is a common practice. Even though she was very able, she refused to get out of bed and even attempt to be social. We were happy with her care there as they were a non-profit run by a church and very responsive and compassionate. Recently we moved my MIL to a facility much closer to us and they too struggled to get her engaged. Her care manager decided to try different anti-depression meds and the change has been impressive. Long story short, if your LO isn't on meds, do try them, and if he is already on them, consult his doc to try different ones and maybe that will help. Also, as AlvaDeer noted, there is less and less to be happy about and it really needs to come from within the person. You will need to deal with it inside your self as well. Wishing you peace and understanding.
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Hi, I've read that many factors influence a person's depression. It could be 'situational' (temporary), due to a loss or shock. Person recovers if supported. It could be related to dimentia (or other health cond), or even a person's meds! (Drs don't like to admit that tho). That's all I can remember about the article I read, sorry. Hope it's temporary, & best wishes.
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Quite honestly, at the end of life many do not find a whole lot to be happy about. It is a downward spiral with no upside, full of loss and the potential not for getting better, but for only more loss. You have to pull any contentment out kicking and screaming. Am curious what you have tried so far. How the depression manifests (it can come out as anger or as withdrawal) and whether it is diagnosed or not. Also curious at what stage in diagnosed dementia your husband is in. Let us know some things you have tried, and why his unhappiness so disturbs you.
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anonymous828521 Aug 2019
👍 yes AlvaDeer! That described my mom's situation perfectly, (but she had always been 'negative nellie'.) Have to admit, it was dismal to be around!
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That is a question for his Doctor. Dementia is short term memory loss, and can change a persons personality. Depression is a whole set of different problems. The 2 together would not be fun at all. There is not much in the way of treatment for Dementia, while there are treatments for Depression depending what kind he has. Having both might be tough to treat. There is a study on using stem cell therapy. You could research that.
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