I have a 94yr old mom who has dementia/cognitive decline. I noticed little things began to get so difficult, even with the help of hired caregivers. I made the most difficult decision to put her in assisted living. Totally beautiful place with amazing people. Her own suite. Lots of help and activities and possibility of friendships.
I am the only one left. Lost my dad and sibling.
She's been there a few weeks and is not adjusting well. She thinks I hate her and begs me to go home, but it’s unsafe. I’m struggling so much mentally and so is my health. How do I cope? Is this behavior ever going to improve?
Start a new hobby. You need something on your mind besides “poor mom, poor me, daddy is dead and I’m a mean daughter.” None of that is true. When you do decide to start spending time with mom in her new digs, take the aides some cookies and be especially personable and nice. Friends there will help.
Our ALF was not great. They were bought by a larger company right before she was placed. So, I had to be the helicopter for awhile to make sure the transition went smoothly. I will say it never really got easy for me.
Give it time and do what you think you need to do to get through this transition for your mom and for you.
Making everything more difficult, time to back off for your own wellbeing.
Time to rethink everything as she is safe and in a nice place, if anything serious happens they will call you.
Being a helicopter child is not the right thing to do, does not help either of you.
Let her make friends and settle in.