We renovated and made an apartment for mom on the second floor of our home. Basically, I moved her into my sewing studio with big windows with wide windowsills and moved my sewing studio across the hall into a 15x15 room with a small window.
The second floor already had a separate HVAC system. We had a smart thermostat installed ($500) in her room (where the original (t-stat was). I operate it from my cellphone so she can’t change the settings. I shouldn’t have left it in her room. We closed all but one ceiling vent in her apartment so it isn’t getting chilly at all!
The problem is she is always cold because of her end-stage CHF slowing her circulation but doctor says to keep room temp below 75 for easier breathing. She is always coughing and hacking. Mom has always lived by changing the thermostat rather than throwing a blanket over herself. I’ve suggested a lap quilt which just made her mad.
Her dementia has advanced beyond being able to reason with her so she doesn’t understand air conditioning keeps humidity low and easier on her breathing and heart. Plus she opens windows because she says her kitty likes to sit in the window. Kitty can sit on a wide windowsill so the window doesn’t have to be open for kitty.
I don’t have any technical discussions with her about anything anymore because she says there are too many rules and again, she no longer has the ability to understand the reasoning.
The electric bill has skyrocketed since she moved in because I’m literally cooling the outdoors. She is paying the electric bill, however, in lieu of rent. (She can’t pay us rent because we’d have to report it as income).
So, do I shut her system off and let her leave the windows open, let it get hotter to where she’s comfortable, and put a portable AC unit in my sewing room? NOTE: I am legally responsible for her care.
By the way, we live in northeast Georgia where it gets hot and humid. It’s 93 today, June 21. The second floor gets hotter quicker and cools slower.
I feel I HAVE to make the right decision FOR her regardless of what makes her happy but now it is ALL the time, just like she did for me when I was a kid. But then she is mad all the time and I am the enemy.
I am asking those if you who have this situation in your home, how have you resolved it? What did you try and what worked for you? Thanks.
Since Mom has a cat, a good air filter might help too. Even when not allergic to cat dander, most people with any respiratory problem have an issue with any "particle" irritating the sinuses and air passages. Sometimes using saline nasal spray to keep the nose and sinuses moist can help. Watch the overall humidity too, an air conditioner can occasionally make the house/room too dry even in the humid south.
Another thought is to get a spider plant or other plants that filter air:
https://www.nwf.org/en/Magazines/National-Wildlife/1999/Spider-Plants-and-Clean-Air
As to the lack of ability to understand the reasoning behind the cooling and other issues, I think a lot of people attribute this type of comprehension issue to dementia, but it also applies to older age as some types of reasoning become more difficult, especially those that can't be seen or witnessed (i.e, the interactions of heating and cooling mechanisms and other technical issues.)
That can also apply to concepts, including tax issues and financial management.
BTW, family in Georgia tell me how HOT and HUMID it is, worse than Michigan, and perhaps as bad if not worse than New Orleans, where I felt as if I was facing an open oven when I left the airport building.
BTW, I'm naturally cold blooded and suffer through every winter, in the summer I keep my thermostat set to 76° over night or if I'm busy and 78° if I'm just lounging around.
My dad has CHF and he is cold when it is 85°. I have learned that his comfort is more important than adding time to his life if it is only making him miserable. It took some time to get there.
Does your mom take any meds to get the water off her? When my dad is coughing all the time it means he has pneumonia again.
I would get that checked.
I hope you find a solution.
PS: she can pay share of costs and that is not taxable. So she can realistically pay a third of your bills and any extra over your normal established utilities and you would not have to claim that. It is a roommate situation not tenant landlord that makes it non taxable and completely legal.