I have recently sold our home because we were drowning in financial issues. We have finally found an apartment that will fit most of our needs. I wish it could be in a nice "assisted living" facility but have never found one that we can afford-period. And so in about three weeks, we will be moving. I have been packing and sorting and trying to donate items for nearly two months now, as I can do only a little each day. We will begin taking things to the apartment as soon as it becomes available. Of course my husband senses something is going on. I try to keep it simple, but he cannot understand what is happening from one day or even one hour to the next. I am asking for advice on how to handle the actual move. My idea is to have him stay at his daughter's for the day while the final move takes place and have two sons help me at the new apartment, then bring him over at some point when we are actually ready to spend the night. He often believes that he does not live at our current house, and that it is a hotel he is just visiting, so that is my real worry-that he will be even more confused. He is on seroquel for nighttime (and sometimes daytime) agitation and sleep, but even then he sometimes gets up and dresses himself to "go home", after falling asleep several times early in the evening. I hate that I am creating this new confusion for him, but it could not be helped.
My 4-bedroom house is really too big for me, but so far the "downsizing" options I've looked at will be more expensive. (I don't need assistance -- yet)
Sigh. Who knew the finances of old age would be so complicated? :-(
I think you have a good plan for the actual move. Bring husband in when the apartment has his familiar things in place. If he considers it a hotel -- so what? He considers your current place a hotel. (My husband did, too, when it wasn't a train station or a high school.)
If he says "How long are we staying in this hotel," say something like, "I don't know, but it seems like a very good place, so maybe we'll stay put for a while. There is a nice park just down the street. Would you like to take a picnic there for lunch?" Don't try to correct him. Say something reassuring. Change the subject.