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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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When my mom resisted the idea of giving up her car keys, we disabled the car unbeknown to her. So when she tried to go somewhere the car did not start. We played it off as the motor went out and we had to order a new motor. It worked, no one got yelled at and she was not having a fit. Eventually she said nothing about the car or driving. Hope this helps.
We were in the same situation with my mother-in-law who was only in her 70s but was legally blind because of macular degeneration. She knew to never drive at night, but she still drove during the day. She bought a big SUV because she said it made her feel safer. We told her "*YOU* might feel safe, but what about that person or pet you kill?" We stopped driving with her. We told her she really shouldn't drive because she had so many (minor) accidents like running into medians and stop signs and into ditches. She got her truck stuck twice and had to be towed out. Her truck would always have new scrapes and dents on it. When she had her 5th accident (she ran into an open car door and knocked it clear off the hinges) we told her she needed to stop driving. She said none of the accidents were her fault "except one" and that even the responding police officer to the car door accident told her she was not at fault and let her go. We took her keys from her and her response was to threaten to call the police if we didn't bring them back. We told her to go for it. It was a really ugly situation. What saved us was that she was really bad about paying her bills and eventually the truck got repossessed by the bank. She never asked for a new car after that, thank goodness. She is lucky she didn't kill anyone.
A very similar incident happened to my mom when she insisted on driving at age 91. Some wheel damage required the car to be towed and policeman present made a report. We used these circumstances to convince our mother her car was too damaged for repair. She argued with us that she wanted to get a leased car just like her brother had. We countered that the police report required that she would have to retake the entire written and physical driver test. That was probably a lie but we were desperate to stop her from driving and lie worked for us. So lie if you have to about taking the driver test in my opinion.
Also, her doctor had told her to stop driving at age 88 after she suffered a TIA. She fought everyone and would not listen to any reasons.
Many states have some form of communication that allows you to express concern to the DMV regarding an elder driver. Once they receive that, they follow up, maybe require extra testing or a doctor's exam.
Or talk to your Mom's doctor about your concerns.
Our doctor had a heart-to-heart with my Dad, telling my Dad he would contact the DMV if my Dad continued to drive. My Dad had a key hidden and still went for a spin once in a while until he got a $200 ticket for running a red light. He really hated paying that ticket and stopped driving.
Even a healthy and mentally alert 95 year old still has slower responses and is in no way a safe driver.
She just caused an accident. Please do not wait until she has killed someone to stop her from driving.
She will be furious but will get over it. Thankfully after several accidents my dad willingly gave up his keys. He lived several states away at this time otherwise I would have taken them.
We had a similar situation when my Mom was 95. After totaling her rental car, the rental company gave her another vehicle the same day. We were livid. She stopped driving after a stroke 6 months later. I would reach out to the police, explaining the concern. They have the authority to take the license away. Make sure she has a complete medical exam. Thank goodness no one was hurt.
We decided my husband should stop driving after "I" had an accident. Before the accident, I felt he would have done fine but I decided to drive. I was turning left when the light had just turned red when someone flew through the red light and hit us. My husband has Parkinson's and at that time high stress would bring on "extra movements" like Michael J. Fox often has. Had he been the driver with that same scenario, there was no way I could have convinced anyone that he was very capable to drive prior to the accident. That opened our eyes that if that ever happened when he was driving, a law suit could be built around his Parkinson's. So he willingly stopped driving but kept his license until it expired then got the State issued ID that looks like a drivers license.
Unfortunately, an acquaintance with Parkinson's was not as fortunate. I had not seen him a quite some time so I have no idea if I would have judged him still capable or not. From what I heard, he over-corrected a swerve or something like that and ended up in a head-on collision and someone was killed. My heart still hurts deeply for him and his whole family at what they must be still dealing with legally, financially and emotionally.
In our state a doctor can report someone to the DMV which would require a driving test through a program offered through many hospitals. It is my understanding the test is done on a simulator and only if a person passes that are they taken on the road. In some cases if the person still passes they are given instructions how to drive more safely... avoid rush hour, avoid after dark, avoid left turns when possible, etc.
I agree with everyone's suggestions of ways to step in and assure your mom's safety as well as everyone else. I am only 72, consider myself a safe driver, but have already begun taking precautions on my own. In parking lots I try to find a spot I can drive through to avoid backing up. I avoid the interstate when possible. I take the AARP driving course when needed to review the basics and keep getting the insurance discount. I totally realize though that like my accident before, I could still get charged even when not at fault and the older I get I am sure someone would be quick to use my age against me.
Years ago my friend was broadsided by an elderly woman who didn’t need to be driving and who ran a stop sign. The wreck left my friend w many injuries and permanently disabled her little baby girl who was thrown from the vehicle despite being in a car seat. It was life changing. So much damage because that woman’s family wouldn’t stop her from driving.
It is not the responsibility of the family to stop her from driving. It is terrible what happened to your friend and so preventable. As children, we are also limited in what we can do legally. I can tell you, if I see an unsafe driver. I call and report it. We should all be doing the same.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Show the accident report to her doctor; ask him/her to declare "no driving" and report her to DMV.
Take the keys, disable the car and arrange for alternate modes of transport.
Also, her doctor had told her to stop driving at age 88 after she suffered a TIA. She fought everyone and would not listen to any reasons.
Or talk to your Mom's doctor about your concerns.
Our doctor had a heart-to-heart with my Dad, telling my Dad he would contact the DMV if my Dad continued to drive. My Dad had a key hidden and still went for a spin once in a while until he got a $200 ticket for running a red light. He really hated paying that ticket and stopped driving.
She just caused an accident. Please do not wait until she has killed someone to stop her from driving.
She will be furious but will get over it. Thankfully after several accidents my dad willingly gave up his keys. He lived several states away at this time otherwise I would have taken them.
Its hard but necessary.
After totaling her rental car, the rental company gave her another vehicle the same day. We were livid. She stopped driving after a stroke 6 months later.
I would reach out to the police, explaining the concern. They have the authority to take the license away. Make sure she has a complete medical exam.
Thank goodness no one was hurt.
Unfortunately, an acquaintance with Parkinson's was not as fortunate. I had not seen him a quite some time so I have no idea if I would have judged him still capable or not. From what I heard, he over-corrected a swerve or something like that and ended up in a head-on collision and someone was killed. My heart still hurts deeply for him and his whole family at what they must be still dealing with legally, financially and emotionally.
In our state a doctor can report someone to the DMV which would require a driving test through a program offered through many hospitals. It is my understanding the test is done on a simulator and only if a person passes that are they taken on the road. In some cases if the person still passes they are given instructions how to drive more safely... avoid rush hour, avoid after dark, avoid left turns when possible, etc.
I agree with everyone's suggestions of ways to step in and assure your mom's safety as well as everyone else. I am only 72, consider myself a safe driver, but have already begun taking precautions on my own. In parking lots I try to find a spot I can drive through to avoid backing up. I avoid the interstate when possible. I take the AARP driving course when needed to review the basics and keep getting the insurance discount. I totally realize though that like my accident before, I could still get charged even when not at fault and the older I get I am sure someone would be quick to use my age against me.